Betrayed Me
by BrokeMachine
Summary: After a mission gone wrong, Kuwabara changes. Yusuke is trying to figure out why, and what does Hiei have to do with it? non-con, ooc, oc, self-mutilation, cussing, drug use, somewhat violent, dark!kuwabara. please read with caution.
1. Hurt

Betrayed Me

Betrayed Me

Chapter 1: Hurt

"HIEI." Kuwabara yelled out for his missing teammate who had disappeared from his sight when the ceiling of the cave they where in had collapsed. "HIEI. SAY SOMETHING IF YOU HEAR ME!"

The team had split up hoping that they would catch the bad guy by cornering him, so they had decided that their best chances of success was if Kurama and Yusuke went around the mountain while Hiei and Kuwabara went through it. But now the path they were taking had collapsed right in front of Kuwabara, and worse it had been more then ten minutes and he still could not pinpoint where the short fire demon had ended up at.

"HIEI!" he yelled once more before collapsing on the ground. He felt dizzy, sick; his energy level was getting lower making it harder for him to summon his spirit sword. He gasped for air, all the dust in the air making it harder for him to breath.

"HIIIIIIEI!" He yelled at the top of his lungs; agony, frustration, and despair echoing of the walls. He feared the worst, anything could have happened.

"Hush, hush... Human. You might disturb a very, very bad demon from his slumber." a mocking slithery voice said.

"Thanks for the advice." Kuwabara said calmly acknowledging his weakened state. "I'll just need to find my friend and I promise I'd be out of your hair." He didn't want to provoke the demon into a fight he knew he couldn't win, at least not in the state he was in.

"Why the hurry to leave? Do you know how hard it is to find such a delicacy like you around here?" The figure in the shadows approached, revealing a red demon. Large black bat wings stuck out from its back, and his face was crunched up giving him a mischievous look.

Kuwabara quickly got to his feet, trying hard to not make it look like he was about to faint. He didn't want to fight, but he wasn't about to be some demons lunch.

"Don't worry, human. I promised I wouldn't eat you." the Demon laughed quietly while taking another step towards Kuwabara; Kuwabara took one back. "I just want to have a little fun with you."

"Get. Away. From. Me.". He emphasized every word he said with analyzing eyes.

The demon sprinted to attack him, pulling out his sword and clasping right into Kuwabara's now summoned spirit sword. "I'm surprised , human, you are very strong and quick. I bet you can beat me in a fight." The demon said while both kept the resistance between the swords up. Kuwabara could feel his legs shake under pressure. "To bad." the demon continued pausing to take in some air. "To bad you've been inhaling my poison, and now you're weak." The demon laughed again, this time he was getting to Kuwabara. Now he felt like ripping the stupid demon into tiny prices.

Kuwabara's sword started to get bigger, and with all the strength he could muster, he pushed the demon off of him, his screams deafening the demons laughter. Kuwabara fell to his knees, forehead firmly planted on the ground, eyes closed tight, while his arms hugged his own waist. He was getting weaker and sicker, the room spun around him making it hard for him to concentrate on just keeping balanced.

"You deserve everything you have coming to you, you filthy scum." The demon grabbed him from his hair pulling his head up so he could see his face. Kuwabara's eyes were still closed tight, his jaw clenched as he took deep breaths through his nose. "You stupid human." He traced his victim's cheek bone down to his neck with his nail, leaving small red droplets sipping through the delicate skin. "Let's have some fun."

The demon forced himself on top of Kuwabara, his head reached for the neck, long arm wrapped around his waist, while with the other he kept the tight grip on his hair; teeth finally pierced the skin. Kuwabara screamed a little in surprise, he tried futilely to push the demon off. Kuwabara's hands pushing and shoving at his attacker's shoulders, but all he could hear was the demon's moan as he sucked Kuwabara's blood out of him.

"Get. Off. Of. Me." Kuwabara yelled. With that, the demon let go of his tight grip, sending Kuwabara rolling backwards.

He ended up on his belly, to weak for his muscles to support him; he lay there, breathing hard. The demon just looked at him, savoring the taste in his mouth. "It's been to long." The demon said between clenched teeth, and once again began to approach the body on the ground.

He sat on top of him, firmly placing all of his weight on Kuwabara's legs so he wouldn't budge. He looked at his prey, licking his lips, planning his next move; and without a second thought he ripped Kuwabara's white T-shirt off. Once again, the demon concentrated on his neck, licking, nibbling, and sucking at it until it turned purple.

Nausea started to form in Kuwabara's chest, disgust and the feeling of being really dirty, stabbing at his pride. He could feel the demon's hard member poking at his butt cheeks with every move he made. That was all that he could take, he concentrated on the anger that had been building up ever since all of this started, to find the strength, if any, to elbow the ugly smelly demon square on the cheek.

He did, he had at least got the demon to release him, and he turned around to see where he ended up at. But it wasn't enough, the demon with his stupid laugh, was on his feet staring straight at Kuwabara. Like a nightmare, it was becoming to seem like he was never going to wake up.

The demon swung his arm as far back as he could, and with all his strength smacked Kuwabara on the face with his fist. Kuwabara head hit the ground, opening the skin. Blood pored down to the dirt, turning it into mud as it mixed with the warm liquid.

His lungs were beginning to cramp up; it was turning into a struggle to breathe, especially when every breath that he took was getting more and more painful. He will come back and forth into and out of consciousness, his brain lacking oxygen. The cave would spin in circles around him every time he opened his eyes. He took one deep breath in, and the spinning would slow down, his back arching upwards. One more and he was starting to take in more of the picture in front of him. Nails dug into the ground. One more and he could clearly see what the demon wanted to take from him, but it was too late.

The demon's hips were between his legs, and he was completely naked. With one swift movement, the demon's member was inside of him. Pain ran through his body, causing a cry to escape from his lips. He tried to push the offender off, but the demon had him pinned down. A large hand pushing his chest to the ground, scraping Kuwabara's back on the rough rocks under him with each shoving movement the demon made.

The large frame of the demon made loud moans of pleasure, each one making Kuwabara feel like he had less and less control of his emotions. He had never felt more like trash, unimportant, like nothing. Tears slowly ran down, and he no longer could find the reason to keep breathing.

The demon exploded inside of him, releasing his juices with an orgasmic groan, and let himself fall over Kuwabara's body. "See," he said gasping, a smile planted cheaply on his face, "just a little fu..."

The demon was cut off. Kuwabara could feel a large amount of a warm substance running down both side of his torso, but he was still to weak to look up to see what had just happened.

Someone's hand gently gripped his head and blew dust towards his face. Kuwabara unintentionally inhaled it. The dust worked its magic and caused his tight lungs to relax, and he could finally breathe without a struggle.

The fog that was clouding his mind started to disappear; oxygen was finally filling everything in his body with energy. The weight on his chest was lifted off, and the demon's member, which was still inside of him, pulled out.

Kuwabara opened his eyes to see Hiei. He was working on getting him cleaned up. "Hiei." Kuwabara whispered, his throat hurt when he said it. He didn't care, his eyes tried to stay focused on the figure before him to make sure he wasn't imagining things.

"C'mon." Hiei's voice spoke. "Let's get you out of here."


	2. If

Thank you to everyone who reviewed... I wasn't expecting any. So when I got some it made me really happy.

Thank you to Katzztar who left a lengthy, and really helpful review.

...and Thank you to Jovianokamigirl for leaving a commnet. :D

Now, for another chapter. Authors note: This story is something I thought of when I hatted the world... and it might not go like everyone would like. Okay, what im trying to say is - _it sucks_. Ha, I feel better. I'm sorry for taking forever to update. Feel free to read.

Chapter 2: If...

Kuwabara somehow managed to put his pants on, the only article of clothing that wasn't torn, with the help of Hiei. Somehow, he managed to walk out of the cave, Hiei's arm tightly wrapped around his waist preventing him from losing his balance. Somehow he made it out alive.

He was leaning against a large rock, his breathing calm, his expression calm; but he could not look behind him to the opening on the mountain where they had just exited from. He could not look back because he was afraid his posture, his emotions, that he would fall apart if he did. He kept his gaze focused on the ground, focused on keeping himself cool.

Hiei understood what just happened. He understood that Kuwabara needed sometime to get himself together, gather his thoughts, to let it sink in.

He could see that Kuwabara had just been broken, damaged to no repair, just like he had planned.

His mind shattered to tiny pieces, and Kuwabara could not see it yet, that he will never be the same, again.

"There you guys are!" Yusuke said waving his hand in the air as he ran towards them. "Where have you guys been? It's been over an hour since we caught the jerk." Yusuke looked from Hiei to Kuwabara, expecting the same excitement. "Okay, what's up?" he said suspiciously while raising an eyebrow.

Hiei looked at Yusuke obviously not sharing the same enthusiasm. "We got separated and it took us longer then we thought to find our way out."

"Is that right?" Yusuke asked Kuwabara, his eyes scanning Kuwabara's body. "Wow, dude. You're looking pretty beat up, what happened to you?" He approached him, but before he could reach him, Hiei stepped in his way.

"He got in a fight with a nasty poisonous demon… but don't worry, we took care of him." Hiei reassured Yusuke. "He just needs to get some rest. I'll take him home."

"If I'm not mistaken, I think you are showing some concern for Kuwabara, and it's scaring me. And mind you, I don't scare easily." Yusuke said honestly but suspicion still weighing in on his conscious.

"Don't think much of it, just consider this your lucky day."

"Right, well I just came here to check if you two where okay since I hadn't see you since we split. But now that I have, I'm going back. I have a lot of work to do, and that toddler won't get of my back till I have it done. So I'll catch up you guys later, 'kay?". He laughed to himself for his long explanation and took a second glance at Kuwabara before turning around and taking off. He wanted to say something to him, something about Kuwabara wasn't settling well with Yusuke, but he didn't have the courage to say anything and he just let his worries sit at the back of his head.

Hiei always knew that Yusuke was very protective about Kuwabara, but also had a hard time showing it, especially in front of the goofy carrot-head. He'd see the worried look in Yusuke's eyes get bigger with every visible bruise on Kuwabara's already pale complexion. After all, he is the only human on the team, and his best friend. Hiei could see Yusuke wanted to approach him, to check if he was alright, but Hiei couldn't let that happen. He couldn't give Kuwabara the satisfaction of knowing that someone actually cared for him. Not now at least. He wanted him to feel like he was abandoned and alone.

Hiei knows that if just one demon even looks at Kuwabara wrong, Yusuke would make sure that they never ever lay an eye on him again. He'd seen it before. Every time Yusuke had no clue about Kuwabara's whereabouts, he would drop everything he was doing to hunt him down and make sure he was still breathing. He would even make sure that no rivaling gangs would get a chance to gang up on him so they can take over Kuwabara's turf, one that he had worked to hard to give peace and security to. And if Yusuke ever found out what had just happened to Kuwabara, what he just let happen. Hiei knows he would be praying for his life, or worse, forever looking over his shoulder. Yusuke will never forgive him.

But now that he started it, he has to finish it. He wants to make Kuwabara suffer, if only to...


	3. Home Bitter Home

Author's Notes: Okay, it really didn't take me two weeks to write this short chapter... it just took me two weeks to go to the library and post it. I miss not having internet at home.

Katzztar... forgive my bad grammar. It was never my best subject. I like dealing with complex math problems more then writting a simple essay about whatever. I will go back and fix them, hopefully, someday soon. You are really good at analysing stories and stuff I've noticed.

Blackrose... Thanks for your kind review.

Kogas Hentai Luver... Is it really extreme? OMG when i read your review I was like... "MY STORY IS EVIL, I SHOULD STOP." Then I begged my sister to read it, cuz she never wants to reads my stuff, so she could tell me what she thought. And she said to give her 4 days. I really didn't feel like waiting that long. So... I took my chances and posted this chapter anyways. But thanks for the review.

Just 2 Dream Of You... Thanks for saying that you would read no matter how bad it sucks... cuz this is gonna be a really sucky chapter.

Read if you'ld like.

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Chapter 3: Home Bitter Home

"Which way is your bedroom?" Hiei asked the ningen who was barely able to keep himself standing, just as they arrived to Kuwabara's apartment.

Without a word Kuwabara showed him the way. He was sore but wasn't about to show it in front of the small fire demon's critical eye.

Before entering his room, Kuwabara gestured Hiei to stop. Hiei looked up at Kuwabara. "What's wrong?" He asked sternly.

"I can handle it from here." Kuwabara reached out for the door knob, half way to open the door and half way for support.

"No, you can't." Hiei was still holding on to Kuwabara by his waist without giving any real support.

"Yes, I can." He took a step in, reaching out for the desk next to the door.

"NO, you can't." He watched half amused half irritated at Kuwabara's still functional stubborn attitude.

Kuwabara didn't respond back, just kept going; step by step, getting closer to his goal.

"Where are you going? Your bed is over here." Hiei pointed to the opposite direction in which Kuwabara was heading, irritation clearly starting to show in Hiei's voice.

"I SAID I can handle it." He said slightly raising his voice, trying still to gain some control back from his trembling voice.

It was funny to Hiei, Kuwabara was getting in his nerves and he wasn't even saying nor doing anything stupid and or meaningless, but then again, Hiei doesn't like it when people go against his wishes. He watched as the weak being before him disappeared to the bathroom, a smile creped itself onto his face, he couldn't help but enjoy the scene that had played before him. He lingered a little and left as soon as he heard the tap water run.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Kuwabara climbed into the bath he prepared for himself. The hot water kind of burned his flesh, but that is how he wanted it. He wanted to wash the smell of the demon of his skin. He lathered himself up with soap, and then began to scrub at his skin with rough rock. Flinching every once in a while. In less than five minutes he had made several skin deep wounds on both his arms and torso, and the water had turned into a light shade of red.

He stepped out looking back at the tub, the red water slowly draining itself down, but after all he did he still felt dirty. Kuwabara wanted everything that stupid demon had touched off of him, he didn't care if it hurt. He turned to look at his mirror, for the first time realizing what he had done to his flesh. He could see the blood binding with the drops of water on his skin, weighing each other down his slashed arms, his bruised chest, and his scrapped back until one by one dripped down to the floor.

He looked at his neck, painfully remembering the demon sucking at it, all the feelings he had felt then starting to show up, again. Tears formed and streamed down his face, his bruised eyes, squinty and irritated; his cheekbones prominent, and awkward. He thought he was so ugly. Or at least that was what he was told his whole life. 'Who would want to fuck me?' He thought to himself.

He has been beat up worse before, with bruises and cuts worse then the ones he wore now, but never before had he seemed uglier then how he appeared standing in front of his pitiful reflection, now.

Kuwabara's hands where tightly closing into fists; the person in front of him wasn't telling him the truth. 'That isn't really how I look like.' He thought to himself. He looked intently into the other person's eyes, not recognizing the person staring back. Kuwabara searched a little longer, hoping that the reflection, he once knew, will show up. When the one standing in front of him didn't leave, a little blast of anger exploded inside of him. He wanted to kill him. He swung his fist to it, shattering the mirror.

Satisfaction took over a small part of his anger, when he saw his hand bleed. He looked at the empty wall that now stood where the mirror once was; thinking that that ugly face wasn't going to come and haunt him anymore.

He dressed himself up, hiding as much skin as possible, and bandaged his hand. Wrapped a blanket over his shoulders, and soon after Kuwabara rested his head on his pillow he fell into a deep sleep. He slept through the night, not waking up once.


	4. Just an Average Day

Author's Notes: Okay, I wrote this and didn't re-read it to check for any oopsies (Sorry. I know I'm horrible). I'm to dopped up in caffeine to even have the patience to sit still. Curse work and its free coffee for the employees. I should just come with a warning sign saying "Keep caffeine away from ME, will consume like it's candy."

Katzzar- I'm so glad to hear how passionate you are about writing, reading, and reviewing. It is an art that many take really serious, or at least I think so. Getting good review like yours are really helpful and I apreciate them tremendously. I only write for fun (cuz I know how crappy a writer I am), as do many if not all here. And because it's only fun for me, I don't expect any professional critiques, just a simple 'I like it' would work for me. It encourages me to keep writting not only for my amusement, but also for the reader's amusement. But your right, whinners should just get their shit together and except all types of criticism and accept it with less whinningness (if that makes sense?).

Just 2 Dream Of You- I own three. Broke two, haha. But how do hack secured wireless connections?

Chapter 4: Just an Average Day

The next morning, Kuwabara's eye flashed open. He was still tired. It seemed to him like he had just blinked his eyes once and the sky had turned from night to day in just one second. His body still hurt, his eye lids felt heavy. He wanted to sleep some more.

"What did you do to yourself?" A sturdy voice asked.

Unaware of whoever also occupied the room, Kuwabara jolted to an upright sitting position, startled by the unexpected voice. His muscles stung with pain from the sudden movement.

Hiei look at Kuwabara, a frown planted in his face. "What did you do to yourself?"

"What?" Kuwabara had heard the question but was confused about what his supposed guest was talking about. He traced down to where Hiei's eyes were focused on, Kuwabara's sleeve had been pulled up as far as it could go, and baring his arm and skin deep wounds that weren't there the last time Hiei was.

Kuwabara quickly pulled his sleeve down and stood up off this bed, avoiding any contact with the short demon. "It's just an arm, no big deal."

"And a stomach, and a chest, and back." Hiei voice said slightly higher.

Kuwabara kept quiet as he pulled out his school uniform from his drawer, it wasn't like Hiei to scold him for anything, especially in good intentions. And Hiei's whatever-intentions were what were making Kuwabara uncomfortable. He could only hope that Hiei would take the silence as a hint and drop the subject.

Kuwabara could feel Hiei's eyes on him, almost burning a hole through his being. By this time, Kuwabara had already put on his blue pants and jacket over his pajamas and was now pulling the hood of his sweater over his jacket.

"At least have the decency of cleaning up the blood that you left all over the bathroom for everyone to see." Hiei added coldly, he didn't like it when people didn't respond back.

Kuwabara looked up at the bathroom door that stood somewhat open. Memories of the previous day came running back, along with unwanted tears. He gulped trying to swallow the knot that had just formed at his throat. Without facing Hiei, he headed out the door. His head hurt and he wasn't really in the mood to deal with the little fire demon.

As soon as he got outside, he let himself fall against the brick wall of his apartment building. "Stupid baka." He whispered to himself thinking about Hiei's rude intrusion to his home and his body, like he couldn't feel anymore exposed. Without thinking, he punched the wall and hissed as the pain shot up his arm. He held his hurting limb close to his chest, and after a moment he looked at his hand and noticed it bleeding from the same wound caused by the mirror. He laughed at it, his recent anger had vanished.

His eyes where suddenly drawn to the figures standing in front of him. Two school girls, wearing the same colors as the ones that corresponded to his school, looked back at him with fear, curiosity, and sympathy in both their faces.

Kuwabara hid his hand from there sight, and both girls walked away, talking in whispers to one another while glancing back at Kuwabara.

He then felt like a kid again, looking up at his classmates, all gossiping and staring at the freak that had just been pushed into a puddle of mud by kids twice his size. No one cared or dared to associate themselves with him. That freak that could sense things from the supernatural.

Kuwabara took a deep breath, stuck his injured hand in his pants pocket, and proceeded to walk to school. He couldn't and wouldn't let those girls get to him.

His pace was slow, but after twenty minutes of walking he could see his school. He was in no hurry, he didn't mind if he was late. He turned the block, and bumped into a group of guys from the neighboring high school.

"Sorry." he whispered barely acknowledging them as he walked past them.

"Kuwabara, long time no see." One of the boys said.

Kuwabara suddenly halted at the sound of his voice, spun around; eyebrows frowned. "Do I know you?" he said all the meaning of the question translating in his expression.

The tallest of the group stood in front of the rest. A grin that was once on his face disappeared, obviously offended by Kuwabara's lack of recognition. "Let me refresh your memory." The high school kid took a swing at him; Kuwabara move to one side, causing the jerk to fall on the ground.

A small smile appeared on his lips, he didn't mind kicking some joker's ass for breakfast. "That was pathetic." Kuwabara said humor in his tone.

The high school kid's face turned red. "Get him!" he yelled at his crew. Two arms wrapped around each of Kuwabara's arms, his knees almost went weak as their contact sent waves of disgust. Memory of the demon from the cave flashed at the back of his eye.

An unexpected sharp blow to his stomach knocked him of his balance, but the arms wrapped around his arms were preventing him from hitting the ground.

Kuwabara laughed quietly, "Pathetic." the word slipped from his mouth. The red-faced high school kid rage rang through his ears, almost making Kuwabara laugh. Kuwabara surprised the leader with a kick on the chest before the bully could even say something witty back; his body soared through the air till finally landing harshly on the concrete floor.

The two guys, who were holding on to his arm, suddenly let go and ran like they had just seen a ghost. But Kuwabara knew why they suddenly decided to show their true colors.

"I don't need you to come and rescue me every single time I get in a fight, Urameshi." he said referring to the spirit detective standing behind him.

"I was just trying to make myself useful." He said cheerfully. Seeing jerks run away from him like scared cowards always put Yusuke in a good mood.

"Then make yourself useful and STOP." Kuwabara didn't even bother to look at Yusuke, he just proceeded to walk.

Yusuke scratched at the back of his head, not really knowing what provoked Kuwabara into such a bad mood. He began to walk after Kuwabara "I didn't even touch them."

"But you showed up."

"Why are you angry? Did you fall of your bed this morning, again?" He said poking fun to lighten up the atmosphere.

"Can't talk. Late." Kuwabara said waving Yusuke away.

"Late? Late for what?"

"School."

Yusuke stopped his stalking to mirth mockingly at Kuwabara. "Since when did you become mister perfect attendances?"

"Since my so called 'teammates' began ruining my mornings." he muttered to himself.

Yusuke had heard it, and left him with a blank questioning stare. He ran to his side, "Hey that's my job. Who's trying to replace me?" He asked childishly, elbowing Kuwabara's arm playfully.

Kuwabara backed away when the small hit sent unexpected pain through his arm.

Yusuke looked at him, and Kuwabara shoved him away to continue into the school campus. That's when Yusuke noticed the bloody bandage poorly wrapped around his hand.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"Kuwabara."

". . ."

"Kuwabara."

". . ."

"Mr. Kuwabara!"

Kuwabara picked up his gaze lazily from the pencil he barely entertained himself with. His chin was on his desk, his arms sprawled alongside. "Here."

"Great!" The professor said sarcastically. "I almost thought it was my lucky day." Kuwabara rolled his eyes; no matter what he did he could never get on that professor's good side. But, today, he really didn't care.

He went further down the list till he got to Yusuke's name, paused and skipped over it, not even bothering to read it out loud.

"Forgetting about someone?" Everyone, except for Kuwabara, turned to look to where the voice had originated.

Yusuke was leaning back on the chair, feet propped up on the desk, hands crossed at the back of his head.

"Hi." He said giving a wave. The student whispered among themselves and the professor tightened his jaw.

"I don't even know why you bother to show up, it's not like you're gonna pass."

The students gasped and continued to gossip.

"Silence." The professor demanded.

"Yeah… Whatever." Yusuke said blowing him off. His eyes landing on Kuwabara as soon as the professor had looked away.

"Pop quiz!" The professor announced ignoring Yusuke; just looking at him was giving him a head ache. He handed a sheet of paper to each of his students, went over to his desk and started to work on his own paperwork.

As Kuwabara circled his last answer on his sheet and looked up at the clock. 'Five minutes, new record.' He thought.

"Hey." Someone whispered towards his direction. The girl sitting in front of him looked straight at him, a small smile formed on her delicate pink lips as soon as Kuwabara noticed her. Her eyes were a mesmerizing shade of aqua blue; her hair was silky, long, and dirty blond. "Can I borrow a pencil?" She said trying to keep quiet.

Kuwabara pondered the question for a while before turning his head around to look behind him. Yusuke was looking back at him; this was starting to get in his nerves. "Yeah." He said. "I'm done anyways." He got up, leaving his pencil behind, and went over to the professor's desk laying his paper in front of him, and walked out the door.

Yusuke gritted his teeth as Kuwabara left from his sight.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

As soon as Kuwabara got home, he checked to see if he could spot the short demon anywhere; noting that the apartment was clear, he walked in.

"Hey, baby bro."

Kuwabara twirled around quickly. "Ah… Hey sis'. I didn't see you there." He said nervously scratching the back of his head.

"You forgot to feed your cat, today." She said in-matter-in-fact-ly, resting her figure on the wall next to her.

Kuwabara, still nervously, laughed at his mistake as his eyes moved from her to Eikichi, who was cleaning her whiskers, and back to Shizuru. "Yeah, well, thanks for reminding me, sis. I won't forget next time."

She looked at him up and down, sensing something different, but not able to quite put her finger on it. "Aren't you supposed to be at school?"

Kuwabara swallowed hard, thinking carefully about his answer. "Lunch break..."

"How did you do on your last test?" she crossed her arms, and lifted her chin.

"Decent..." his head went down, but kept eye contact, almost challenging her to a game of 21 questions.

"Decent?"

"A minus..."

"Hn..." She moved in closer, trying to get a better look. "How about your last mission?"

His controlled posture wavered a bit, "What about it?"

"How did it go?" She detected something; his body language was giving him away. "By the looks of it, I say you got your ass kicked."

Kuwabara looked away; his heart began to pound faster; nausea and a stomach ache formed at the pit of him. "Feeling sorry for me, sis?"

Her mind stayed focused on him, something about him was beginning to worry her. He looked paler then usual, even under all the black and blue marks on his face. She could spot the nasty scab near his hairline, but she has seen him with worse. Her attention was on his eyes. There was something in them that wasn't there before, something to be pitied, but she was unsure of what she could barely see.

"I'm late for work." She said looking at her wrist watch as she snapped back to reality, then looked back up at him. "The school year is almost over, work hard to get good marks. Then you'll have the whole summer to get better. "She planted a kiss on his cheek before turning to leave. "Love you, baby bro."

The door shut, and Kuwabara was left alone. He wanted to tell her what happened. Shizuru had always been there for him. Like a mother, always helping him to get over every little obstacle had ever come across. She was the closest thing he had; but even when his chance was just standing in front of him, his lips couldn't spill the secret he bore.

Kuwabara's body was tense; muscles tight, still trying to hold a strong posture even after Shizuru was long gone.

His legs automatically led him to his bathroom. Clammy hand turned on the tap, letting the tub fill up with water as he got undressed.

Some of the shame, fear, and humiliation, he had felt that night, still lingered like a restless soul.

He picked up the rock he had used last time and began to scrub at his skin. The smell of that demon on his skin was just a constant reminder of everything he was trying to forget.

Kuwabara's thoughts and memories of that night still haunted him. He wanted to erase it from his memory.

Every single time a memory of the demon popped in his head, he began to scrub harder, concentrating on the pain so it could help him forget.

He hated that demon; Kuwabara could still hear his laughter. The anger building up, again, was beginning to plague his thoughts with sights of violent revenge.

But the demon was dead, Hiei had killed him. And now that that ugly thing was six feet under, there was no way to make that demon pay.

His shoulder was bleeding; he had tarried there without noticing.

Strong, firm hand gripped Kuwabara from the arms, pulling him slightly upward. "STOP IT." an angry voice said.

Kuwabara was lightly panting; eyes locked with the ruby red ones of the fiery demon, but his mind was clearly somewhere else.

"Kuwabara." Hiei said shaking him a little.

Kuwabara's eyes tightly shut closed as he pulled away from the tight grip. "Don't touch me." He ordered.

But Hiei was never good at fallowing orders. He grabbed a towel and swung it over Kuwabara's shoulders, covering him; and proceeded on getting Kuwabara on his feet.

Kuwabara didn't struggle this time; he just let Hiei lead him to his bedroom. Hiei harshly assisted him to his bed and sat him down; gripping his arm he pulled him closer to get a better look at his wounds.

Kuwabara's body shuddered under Hiei's touch. Hiei's hold on Kuwabara's arm was strong, but gentle as he examined him.

"I want you to stop." Hiei's voice said sternly.

Kuwabara looked up at him, his anger was caught in his throat, tears threatened to come out. "Why?" he barely managed to get out. "I deserve everything that happened to me. I deserve everything I did, because I'm weak." He was now trying to wiggle his arm away from Hiei.

"If the shoe fits." Hiei said letting go.

"What the fuck is that suppose to mean?" Kuwabara said shoving Hiei out of the way as he stood and walked over to his drawer.

"Weak and dense." Hiei added.

"Why are you even here?" he said grouchily at Hiei's lack of sensitivity.

"I had a feeling you where going to do something stupid." His tone casual and mocking, like usual.

Kuwabara gave a small chuckle as he pulled his sweater over his head, and walked over to sit down on his bed. "Well how does it feel to be right, AGAIN?" he tried to sound confident but his voice was small. "Either way." He added, "You can leave now."

"Just as soon as you go to sleep." Hiei said suddenly.

Kuwabara's eyes darted to Hiei, shocked at what he was hearing. His mind scrambled to think of words, trying to avoid making Hiei angry. "Can't… I need to study, end-of-the-year terms are coming up and..."

"GO. TO. SLEEP." Hiei interrupted.

Hiei's attitude was starting to make Kuwabara nervous. "C'mon, shrimp. If you're worried about me, you really sh..."

"GO. TO. SLEEP or I'll make you fall asleep." Hiei looked serious; his Jagan eye glowed under his white bandanna.

Kuwabara gulped once, he wasn't expecting this. He scooted further into his bed, keeping an eye on Hiei. Arguing with the small demon was pointless, and he knew it. Besides he was feeling tired, his body would protest if he even tried to do anything else. He let his body flop down, crossed his arms over his chest putting up a show of protest, and before he knew it, he fell asleep.


	5. Reliving a Nightmare

Authors Notes- Yet another chapter. Yeepy for me. I really am proud of myself.

Just 2 Dream Of You- Well, yeah. I almost jumped with joy, cuz where I live there is like ah-gah-billion protected wireless connections, but not one unprotected. So, I'm sad cuz I have a PS3, 3 functional PSP (2 broken one, lol), a Wii, 2 laptops, a desktop computer (note: note all mine, within the family) and no internet. So I come here (to the la-berry) with my laptop and "borrow" some internet. But either way, I also have a blackberry that luckily doesn't need a hotspot to have some internet. But there isn't much you can do with a blackberry, other then read stories, and check the e-mail.

Chapter 5: Reliving a Nightmare

Kuwabara woke up the next morning refreshed. His sleep was dreamless and calm. He looked around the room, Hiei wasn't there. For a moment he felt relief; seeing Hiei in the morning two days in a row would ruin his week even more then it already was; especially if Hiei wanted to play doctor and examine his wounds, again.

He walked into his bathroom noticing that everything was tidied up, for a second leaving Kuwabara wondering if he has woken up yet or if it was a dream. Hiei had cleaned up any trace of blood, including the bloodied towels. Even the broken mirror was cleared out, leaving no sign of any silver shards.

Putting it at the back of his head, he brushed his teeth not bothering to gel his hair, got dressed, gathered his books together, fed Eikichi, and headed out the door.

His was early for class, giving him extra time to work on the homework that should have been done the previous night.

He slammed his books closed and stretched a little, after thirty minutes he was through with half of it.

"Here's your pencil back." A sweet voice said.

Kuwabara turned his head to the girl standing next to him, the one from the previous day. He took the pencil she held in front of him, never taking his eyes of her delicate features.

"You never let me thank you." She said giving him a big smile.

The bell rung and the room began to fill up with talkative students. Kuwabara turned to look at them as they entered; it somehow still felt like a dream. He looked back to where the girl stood, but she was gone. His eyes searched the room and stopped as he spotted the girl sit across the room, next to the other recognizable popular kids.

Class went on like usual. During lunch he sat with his gang, they chatted among themselves while Kuwabara kept to himself, using his studies as an excuse to not join in on the conversations. He really just felt like being alone but didn't want them to pick up any suspicion.

As he walked home he could feel someone fallow him. He tried to spot the stalker every once in a while, but with no luck. His invisible stalker was good at this; only one person he knew would stalk him and be this good. 'Hiei.' He thought as he went into his apartment. 'He's dead.'

Knowing he had a lot of homework he had to catch up on, he fed his cat and went straight to his bedroom to get started. The tests where all going to be that week starting the next day.

He flipped opened the first book and began to read it. After getting through the first pages he had realized he had not taken in anything the book was saying. Kuwabara flipped back to where he had begun, immediately taking in account the thoughts that where robbing him from his concentration after reading a couple of sentences.

He slammed the book shut, frustrated at himself for not being able to put the thing that happened to him in the cave behind him; for not being able to forget.

He rubbed his eyes with the balls of his palms. "Why can't I forget?" He whispered to himself.

"Forget what?"

Kuwabara turned his head towards his bedroom door. Shizuru stood there with a plate on her hand. He should be use to the spontaneous appearances of his sister, but somehow she has always been good at showing up in random moments her entire life; always managing to at least startle Kuwabara.

"The formula, I can't forget the formula. It's very important that I have it memorized for tomorrow." He said quickly, making it sound almost like a tongue-twister.

Shizuru arched an eyebrow, mentally questioning the truth behind Kuwabara's response. "Just came up here to bring you a snack. I know you've been working hard." she said approaching him to hand him the plate.

"Thanks, sis." he took the plate. Lately he had not really had much of appetite, but knowing his sister, he knew that if he didn't take it she would suspect something.

Her eyes where on him, and he knew that she was trying to read something off of him. She ran a hand through his un-gelled hair; wavy; clearing his forehead from it so she could get a look into his brown eyes. "You really need a haircut; it's getting pretty unruly, again." She looked at him a little more before planting a kiss on his cheek and heading out the door.

Somehow her affection towards him made him feel sorry that she loved him. He didn't deserve anything she has done for him. She has worked so hard to raise him to be strong, confident, and smart; and so far he was none other then the opposite.

He let a hand run through his hair, measuring the length. 'Yeah.' He whispered to himself. 'I guess I do.' He got to his feet, walked toward his bathroom, opened a drawer, and pulled out a razor. Running a hand through his hair again, he grabbed a fist full; pulling it upwards, and began to slice it off. Sawing chunks of hair till he was done.

His gaze fell down to the floor; red hair was everywhere, all around him. The hair that he treasured was now on the floor, stirring no emotions in him now that it was gone.

His lack of feelings was, if not confusing to him, disturbing. It wasn't to long ago that he was sitting at his desk unable to concentrate because of unwanted thoughts and memories causing a lot of bothersome emotions and feelings; and now, he could feel nothing.

He looked down to his arm and without thinking, placed the blade on his skin.

Still nothing, no fear, no happiness, no feeling of right or wrong, just apathy.

He shook his head, barely coming into realization of what he was doing. His hand let go of the blade, and he turned around to go back to his studies. His thoughts were cleared, and that was good enough for him.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The next morning, Kuwabara woke up and let the sun soak into his skin for a while before getting up. Everything seemed to be going back to normal.

His hands rubbed at his head, feeling the short hair. A small smile broke on his lips; he could not help think it was funny that he cut it. He lazily pushed himself of the bed and walked over to his bathroom, made a quick sweep of the hairy mess on the floor before continuing into his normal routine.

He got dressed making a conscious decision to wear a hoodied sweater under his school uniform. He pulled the hoody over his head as he walked out the door; hoping that no one would recognize him that way.

The sun stood tall in the sky, the birds flew high, he was feeling good about the day. He began his walk to school, pulling out an mp3 player from his pocket; he plugged both his ears with the headphones, and began to listen to his favorite Megallica songs.

Everywhere he looked butterflies where having fun; the seasons were turning from spring to summer. He didn't feel gitty, but the sun kind of put him in a good mood on this day.

When he got to school, the songs stuck in his head, and the good vibe still in his system; he managed to get through all the tests without any worries. Plus he had studied the previous night pretty rigorously for it not to pay off.

"How'd ya do?" A recognizable sweet voice said.

Kuwabara turned his head to look at the pretty girl. It was after school, and he was leaning against the wall at the front of the building; he had promised his gang he would wait for them this time instead of 'disappearing', like they so well put it.

She was also leaning against the wall, her petite frame was beautiful, her face innocent but wise.

Kuwabara shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know." he responded back referring to the exams they both took that day.

She gave him a big smile, as beautiful as usual. "You have to have some sort of idea." She took a step closer to Kuwabara, causing Kuwabara's muscles to tense up. He picked himself off the wall, tacking a step away; he bumped into someone behind him. He turned around to see who it was; his three friends stood before him.

"Hey… Kuwabara." The three said cheerfully, all giving him a smile, as two of the boys stood to his side giving him a pad in the back.

Kuwabara winced in pain, but managed to pull out a smile. None of them seemed to notice, they just talked about the plans for the rest of the afternoon. Kuwabara rubbed at his arm, still feeling the stinging sensation of the pads.

"What'd you think Kuwabara? You up for it?" One of the three said.

Kuwabara looked at all three of them, their faces excited. He gulped.

"Can't." He finally managed to say, releasing it with a sigh.

"Awe." They all said, there shoulders hung low in disappointment.

"But, Kuwabara. You have to." One said.

"Yeah. Please, Kuwabara." Another pleaded.

"Can't, I need to study." He half lied. He had everything covered for the next set of tests. "Plus." He continued. "I still need to practice on..."

"...On getting stronger with Urameshi, and the other two." The tallest of the three finished for him as he crossed his arms.

He couldn't help want to tell them the truth. 'They'd understand.' He told himself.

"Hey, Kuwabara." Someone yelled from behind the trio. All three turned around to find Yusuke standing behind them. They all glared at him, cursing under their breaths; one managing to spit on the ground and another shoved Yusuke on the shoulder as they walked past him.

"What's their problem?" Yusuke said annoyed at there rudeness. He raised them a middle finger as payback.

Kuwabara just watched as his best friends walked out of the campus, barely noticing Yusuke as he talked.

"Heh loh, Earth to monkey." Yusuke waved a hand in front of Kuwabara's face, trying to catch his attention.

Kuwabara began to make his way out of the campus, too. He wasn't in the mood for Yusuke's simple verbal joke.

Yusuke followed him. "Where are you going? We need to practice on our fighting skills. We got another mission."

"Can't. Need to study." Kuwabara used the same excuse, again.

"We have to." Yusuke said in a demanding voice, but Kuwabara kept walking.

"Big, ugly, evil ones, with horns and the whole hideous deal going on." He continued. "They rape kids and women. Are you sure your honor code is fine with that?"

This struck a nerve, stopping Kuwabara on his tracks. He turned around to look back at Yusuke who had a grin on his face that translated to his usual 'ha, won' look.

"Don't worry, I'll be there." He assured him, trying to hide how annoyed he really was.

"You look different." Yusuke pointed out; spontaneous: catching Kuwabara of guard.

Kuwabara considered the idea for a minute, the hood still covering his head. "I got a hair cut." He confessed bluntly as he turned away from Yusuke, preventing him from noticing anything else.

"Naw, it's something else." Yusuke mused.

Kuwabara was about to retaliate, but someone caught his eye. The angel like girl stood a couple of yards in front of him, staring back at him. She gave him a small wave as she ducked into a limousine and a well dressed man closed the door after her.

Yusuke looked from the limo driving away to Kuwabara, who was now walking away. His brow arched: he was curious to know about Kuwabara's new friends that Yusuke didn't know of; he wanted to know more about this little rich girl that seemed to be interested in a punk like Kuwabara.

As Kuwabara walked home, he could sense his stalker fallowing him, again. If he was right, it would be impossible to spot the fire demon even if he used his best tricks. Instead, he just plugged his ears with the headphones, and listened to his MP3 player; trying his best to just ignore the pesky stalker.

When he got to his apartment, he was immediately greeted by Eikichi. She rubbed her sides against his legs; her tail was standing high up and she cried a high-pitch meow.

Kuwabara chuckled at her, he loved her so much; and she was the only one he could freely show his love towards, and just be his silly self, without being mocked or bullied. Other then Yukina, but it had been so long since he had seen her, he would wonder if she ever thought of him.

He picked her up and rubbed her chest while she purred. "Hungry?" he asked as he planted a kiss on her forehead.

Eikichi meowed; her eyes glittered every time she saw her favorite human. That or she was just ready to eat.

He placed her on the floor while he opened a can of cat food and poured it in her bowl.

While she ate her protein filled food, Kuwabara headed to his bathroom, took a shower; and after, began reviewing his notes.

After just an hour, he could chant his notes to the T.

He glanced at his digital watch: it read '8:00pm'.

"Agh." He groaned as he slapped both hands on his face and slid them down, slightly stretching his skin to a freakish sight.

He released, smacking his hands on the desk and once more and took a look at his clock. '8:01pm'.

Sighing in surrender, he stacked his books up and headed to bed. He definitely had some time to spend with friends, and at the moment he was slightly regretting that he had denied their request to hangout.

As he laid in bed, his thoughts moved from the exams he had taken that day; to the angelic girl, to his disappointed friends, to the most upsetting one: Yusuke's and his conversation about the next mission. He was now debating the idea of going, mostly leaning on the 'probably not a good idea to go' and 'don't think I'm ready to confront one just yet'. Just the concept of being around a demon, just like the one in the cave, made chills run down his spine and the hairs behind his neck stand.

He looked across the room to his digital clock sitting on his desk; the numbers glowed brightly at him. He squinted to read the numbers; his eyes were not yet adjusted to the obnoxious light. After a couple of seconds the light became tolerable and the numbers readable; it read: 9:02pm.

He blinked his eyes, still looking at the time; the light worked like a night-light, giving him solace.

His lids closed as sleepiness loomed over him, his thoughts wavered through his mind: cut and mismatched, confusing to anybody besides him, who mentally seemed to float in and out of them.

Bringing him back to the feel of consciousness was a blinking light at the back of his lids. He opened his eyes and his clock flickered on and off; the time still reading: 9:02pm.

He pushed himself to a sitting position, his eyes glued on the clock. His head slanted a little to the side; his mind couldn't grasp what could be causing this odd behavior.

He stood and walked over to it, tapping it at the top with his index finger; checking if that simple, and widely known, worthless tactic would make it go back to normal.

It didn't. The light still flickered, and even if it was past a minute since it first read 9:02pm, the time remained the same. He concluded that it was broken and grabbed the cord and yanked it off the wall, mentally putting it on things to figure out once morning came.

His sleepiness had drifted away, but he wanted to catch some Z's so his mind could be in good conditions for the following day of exam after exam. He once again laid his head on his pillow and pulled the sheets over his body; the light no longer there to keep him company in the darkness that was his room.

His senses tingled: someone else was the room with him. 'Hiei.' He thought. He lay motionless, pretending not to notice.

Something hit the floor, echoing the bang in the room. His eyes closed tightly, as if that would deafen the noise. 'Who am I kidding?' He thought. 'Hiei would know if I was asleep or not.'

He sat up and scanned the room, expecting to find the short demon standing somewhere before him.

He wasn't. The street light, that sipped through the curtains, where not enough to revealed what or who where in the shadows of his room.

He pulled the sheets off of his legs; his plan was to turn on the lights, but his paranoid thoughts where getting the best of him. He didn't know where his bravery had gone, but it probably left along with his sanity a while back.

He felt like a kid again: afraid of the boogie man hiding under his bed.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw someone approach him. His gaze quickly moved towards the being, he recognized him.

The light coming in from the window highlighted the tall demons, muscular body. Stitches ran all around his torso; he looked alive and well.

The red demon moved closer and closer to the foot of his bed. There was nothing Kuwabara could do, his body refused to move. He gulped, his body shivered.

The demon licked his own lips, libidinously looking over Kuwabara's long body. Before Kuwabara could react, the demon had his arms around him, his tongue going up Kuwabara's neck, ending his trail of slime on Kuwabara's cheek.

Kuwabara moaned in disgust. His arms tried to push the demon off, but the demon held him to close and to tight, making it impossible for Kuwabara to get a good position.

The demon shoved him down to the bed, immediately laying all of his weight on Kuwabara, pinning his body on the mattress.

His tongue continued to harass Kuwabara's neck, but Kuwabara let him for the time being. His mind concentrated on his spirit sword, which he was having a hard time summoning.

Finally the glowing orange sword appeared at his fist, and without a second thought swung it at his attacker; clearly hitting his target.

The demon looked down to where the sword struck at his chest. Giving a loud deep laugh he said, "Silly ningen, you're puny sword won't hurt me." He grabbed Kuwabara's wrists and pulled them over his head, holding them with just one hand.

Kuwabara tried to wiggle his limbs loose from the demons grasp, but managed nothing other then the demon tightening his death grip on both his wrists.

The demon never broke his lips away from Kuwabara's neck. Every now and then he could feel the demons teeth teasing his skin; threatening to take a bite. His throat tightened and the air got thicker, his heart raced while the demon's free hand roamed around Kuwabara's body.

Tears formed at the corner of Kuwabara's tightly closed eyes. He would gasp for air while the demon tugged at his clothes. He was panicking. 'Shit.'

Kuwabara knew that he had the strength to push the demon off; he knew that he could beat the living crap out of him, but his muscles betrayed him. He wanted to fight, but the fear planted by the demon turned his own muscles against his wishes.

He couldn't see a thing, and he could only hope that someone would come and rescue him.

'Shizuru.' He thought. 'She has to be home.'

This encouraged Kuwabara and he went into offensive mode; aimlessly kicking and punching everywhere he could, hoping that maybe he could get enough distance to get a good hit; all the while screaming for his sister.

But no one came.

The demon laughed against his ear. "Hush, hush, my precious little ningen. Don't struggle like that or I'll only want you more." He cooed cheaply.

He smacked a hand over Kuwabara's mouth, who was still screaming out for his sister, refusing to listen to anything the demon had to say. Muffled noises were all that could be heard coming from Kuwabara, now.

He slightly opened his eye, tears blurring his vision; but even under all the water, he could see something in the room that wasn't there before. Three eyes looked back at him, at them. The light coming in from the window reflected off two paralleled eyes, but the third higher up glowed from behind the shadows.

Suddenly, his whole body jolted upright, he was panting and he was covered in sweat. He placed a hand over his chest, feeling his heartbeat pound against his ribcage; racing to get blood to his head.

Looking around the room, he couldn't find the demon or the three eyes; he could see nothing but the digital clock's bright lights. Its glowing number stable: reading 10:03pm.

He pulled his soaked sheets off of himself, placed his bare feet on the cold wooden floor; mentally aiming to run to his light switch to turn on the lights.

Taking a couple of steps, he leaped to the light switch, landing on the wall. He flicked the switch on, the sudden light causing him to strain his eyes in discomfort.

He struggled to pry his eyes open, but he managed. The room was empty, and there was no sign of a stranger ever being there; nothing out of place, nothing out of the ordinary. He sighed in relief, it was only a dream. His shoulders slumped down, but the fear and disgust the demon provoked in him was still present.

He jumped into the shower once more, changed his sheets, and got back into bed. He rolled himself into a ball; he hated how he felt under his own skin now more then ever.

He took a peak at his clock, noting that it was acting normal still; it read: 11:04pm. As more time went by, he tossed and turned, tangling the sheets between his legs as he tried to catch some sleep; in the same time he worried that he would have the same dream.

He took yet another glance at his clock; this time reading: 12:05am. He still felt fear, and he was beginning to feel weak and hopeless. He just wanted to stop thinking; the more he thought about the dream the more he scared himself the more he concentrated on the shadows in his room.

"Pathetic." He said to himself. He got of his bed, and paced up and down his room; he wanted to punch the wall so bad but was afraid to wake his sister.

He eventually paced his way to his bathroom and sat at the edge of the tub. He placed his head in his hands; he could feel his body still shivering.

Not able to take the tension in him anymore, he pushed himself up, pulled open a drawer, revealing the razor that once belonged to his father.

For a while, he just examined it as it lay motionless in its compartment. Not really focusing on the object but the idea of the damage it could do. He unconsciously rubbed at his forearm before slowly picking it up.

He could feel his stomach twist and turn as he pushed the blade into his skin. The sickness he felt made him want to do it even more. With one quick slide of the blade down his arm, the skin was slashed open.

He could feel his reason try to tell him something as his blood was leaving him. Maybe that he was in pain; but he didn't care. His tension melted away, soothing the aches and pains inside his mind.

His legs gave from under him, letting him fall to the floor. He shut his eyes; he felt dizzy. He pulled a towel from its hook on the wall and wrapped it around his bleeding arm. He placed his head on the cold floor, and when he felt strong enough to move, he pulled himself up, staggered to his bed, and took one more glance at his clock; that read: 1:06am; before his thoughts faded to a dreamless sleep.


	6. Mmm, Coffee

Author's Notes: Merry Christmas!!!

Just 2 Dream Of You - Thank you for reading and reviewing.

VampireGirl89 - I heart hobbits. Happy?

Chapter 6: Mmm, Coffee

The next morning was like the last: beautiful, sunny, and warm, the summer was here and everything looked perfect.

Kuwabara looked out his window from his bed. He had been up since five in the morning and watched the sun rise.

The street across his window was beginning to become crowded with early-bird-mad-civilians and rushing people trying desperately to get to their destinations. Kuwabara watched not really paying attention as these people's manners had left the them as soon as they hit the road, and became rude strangers; flipping off their neighbors, accidentally bumping into someone without saying sorry, leaving old grannies to fend for themselves while they crossed the busy street, alone; and one in particular who has always been assisted by Kuwabara every morning on the same time. But this whole week, she had stood alone, waiting for that generous boy to show.

He never did, and he didn't plan on it; he just watched as the granny gave up earlier than before on looking for him and began her slow, but gradual, walk to the other side.

She stood about five feet from the ground, her legs stubby; her dress hung from her pop-belly, flowing around her legs like a curtain; the length not what it use to be, revealing high socks and an old pair of black shoes. She wore a light lilac sweater and a red shawl over her long gray hair that she wore in a bun.

Her arms were pulled tightly against herself, her fingers clenching on to her purse, her hands shacking as she looked at both sides of the street before crossing. She took a step forward, and as she did, people behind her pushed and shoved not really noticing her as they minded their own business. Everyone around her moved faster then her, leaving her at their dust; and as Kuwabara watched, a knot formed at his throat.

He couldn't watch any longer, he removed his sight from her and looked down at his hands that were placed palms down on the windowsill. 'She doesn't need someone like me.' He gulped, his mouth was parched, his throat dry. 'Not someone as weak and pathetic as me.' His shoulders felt heavy, and the weight sent an annoying pain up to his head. 'Besides,' he thought, 'that old lady was and means nothing to me, and never will.'

He let his mind settle with that conclusion as he pushed himself away from the window, got dressed, and began his own path to his usual destination through the crowded streets.

As he walked, he felt low in energy, like it was taking the maximum amount of push to put one foot in front of the other. His heart thumped hard and raced, making dried noises in him.

He stopped to take a breath, and as he did, he spotted the curb of the road and he let his body move him to it, letting himself fall to take a seat on it. He placed his right hand over his heart, somehow hoping to calm it down that way.

A chill ran over his body. The day was warm, and everyone around him wore shorts, but he felt chilly.

His sight moved up, immediately landing on a big sign reading: COFFEE. A small smile slinked his way to his face.

He staggered a little as he stood up, he was feeling slightly faint. He didn't even get to plant his first step when a car zoomed a foot in front of him, honked, and cursed words, that were not considered polite, to the red head boy that stared bewildered at the red car driving away in such a commotion.

He shook his head, trying to get himself back to reality; and before proceeding to his goal, he turned to look both ways down the street to check for any ongoing vehicles. Once all clear, he moved forward, successfully making it to the other side.

He entered the little shop that had the '_hot coffee'_ sign posted. The shop was small. It had a couple bread stands and two-people tables; just enough for rushing people to take a quick break. The front counter was riddled with people chatting on their phones, to friends, or keeping to themselves; all waiting to be assisted. Kuwabara took a stand behind them, waiting for his turn along with the rest.

After thirty minutes, Kuwabara walked out the shop, coffee in hand. He took a sip from the cup, letting the hot liquid settle in his empty stomach; warming him up, and giving him a small boost of energy making him feel slightly better.

He took a step to the side and as he twisted his body to turn he bumped into something, sending his un-expecting-self on the ground; and as soon as he could, he looked around for his spilt coffee, but it was nowhere in sight.

"Ouch, that looked like a pretty nasty fall. Do you need any help, there, buddy?"

"No, thank, Urameshi. I'm fuh..." Kuwabara growled at the voice, not finishing because he had noticed no one other then Yusuke standing in front of him holding onto his coffee and his lips puckered up, ready to take a sip.

He did, and as soon as he did he pushed it high up in the air, trying to make some distance between him and the hot drink. All the while muttering, "Ah, yuk... What the fuck is this? It tastes like shit. Uh, how can you drink that... That... That..? Uh!" he finished by sticking his tongue out.

By the time Yusuke was done ranting, Kuwabara had already stood from the ground, taken his coffee back, and had enjoyed yet another drink from this bitter liquid.

Once Yusuke's attention was on Kuwabara again, Kuwabara simply pointed at the _'hot coffee'_ sign to answer his question.

"You're not trying to be mature and all grown up now, right? Only boring kids drink coffee." Yusuke mocked as he crossed his arms in amusement.

"I'm not a kid." Kuwabara said, already feeling annoyed by Yusuke's lack of support, and began to walk away; his disappearing act was beginning to become a habit that bothered Yusuke to no end.

Yusuke impulsively reached out for Kuwabara's arm and flung him around so Kuwabara would face him. "Then stop acting like one." He yelled, the sudden pull making some of the coffee spill out of its container.

Kuwabara looked from Yusuke's intense stare to Yusuke's tight grip on his arm, taking a moment to absorb the situation and he growled under his breath. "Let go, Urameshi."

"Not until you tell me what going on with you." Yusuke said with a little concern escaping from his angry tone.

"I don't have time for this." Kuwabara was trying to pull his arm away, no longer able to keep eye contact with Yusuke; his eyes zoomed around the street to see if anyone was noticing this little scene.

"Are you in trouble?" Yusuke's grip tightened.

"No."

"'Cause if you are..."

"I'm not in trouble. Now, let go of me." With that said, Yusuke let go of Kuwabara's wiggling, twisting arm and watched Kuwabara march away, never giving a glance back to Yusuke who wore a worried expression on his face.

It took all of Kuwabara's self control to hold back the tears that were threatening to escape; his hands squeezed into tight fists, his jaw clenched tight, his eyes squinted, and his throat knotted up. "Asshole." He muttered, somehow believing that by saying it that would make him the stronger, better man; the man with the reason.

And it worked for the time being; classes had begun, and as he took test after test, he forgot his confrontation with Yusuke that morning. His studies made him blissful to the issue penetrating a whole through his being.

He kept to himself even after the school day was over. As he made his way out the campus, he noticed the limousine parked right outside, but the angelic girl nowhere in sight.

She has been the first girl who has ever approached him with no fear of him; no fear of a ruined reputation, or of being robbed, or harassed, or in anyway harmed, which he found strange. He has been a punk his entire life, usually nobody who wanted to have a clean record would ever even dream of associating themselves with him.

He was now just a couple of blocks away from his house when he noticed a girl dressed in the blue school uniform that belonged to his school, standing just yards away from him. Her gaze was down, her arms where tightly wrapped around her school books; but even as far as Kuwabara was from her, he could see her trembling. Her body lightly shook, and one by one, drops fell from her hidden expression.

The wind blew past her towards his direction, and he could sense fear; she was scared. 'Of what?' He thought.

Kuwabara scanned her up and down, curiously observing her to uncover her secret threat; but he did not dare approach, fearing that whatever she was going through might affect him in the same way, like a plague.

He unconsciously took a step back, his mind just wanting to run away from the tormented girl just breaking down in front of him.

His body turned away from her. 'Coward.' A voice said from the inside, one that he could almost recognize.

But whoever it was; it's simple word made Kuwabara turn back, and he slowly and consciously walked back towards her; and as he neared he could hear her. She chanted something quietly. He bowed his head so he could concentrate on only listening to what she was saying, she was so quiet; but Kuwabara could feel her pain and confusion, so loud.

"Hey." He said to snap her back to reality, but she did not react. "Hello." He continued. "Are you okay?" His hand stretched out to lie on her shoulder, his intentions innocent; but even before he could touch her, her voice became louder and Kuwabara pulled his hand back.

"Please, please, PLEASE STOP." She begged, each time louder.

"Stop?" Kuwabara question mainly to himself. "Stop what?"

"PLEASE STOP, PLEASE STOP, PLEASE STOP..."

Kuwabara didn't know what to do. He looked around for anyone that could help, but no one was in sight.

"PLEASE STOP, PLEASE STOP, PLEASE STOP..."

He grabbed her from the shoulders, he wanted to help, but the girl began to push and fight Kuwabara off, but Kuwabara wouldn't let go. "Wake up." He yelled at her in vain, an unnoticed tear slipped down his cheek in frustration.

"SHUT UP… SHUT UP… SHUT UP." She pushed and shoved till finally her legs let her fall, un-expectantly, letting her weight be carried by Kuwabara, but he could barely manage his own weight all day much less hers, too. They both fell to the ground, Kuwabara's arms still wrapped around her shoulders.

And that's when he noticed it.

A little fucker of a demon stood at her shoulder whispering something to her ear. The demon giggled and grinned to itself with every word it said to the sad young girl.

"PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE STOP." The girl cried.

Kuwabara finally understood what was going on. He placed his cheek on her head and whisper to her, "Don't you know." hoping she could hear him past the demons stabbing words. "There is no use begging."

The demon must have understood, too, because as soon as he saw Kuwabara's hand fly towards his direction he tried to get away. But it was too late, Kuwabara squashed it in his fist, ending its pathetic existence with a high pitched squeal; and poof, it was gone.

Kuwabara stood of the ground and began to make his way home again, leaving the girl to recollect herself on her own. After all 'The worst was over.' He thought.

Before he entered his apartment building he looked back to the now empty street; his stalker was there hiding, he could sense him.

Once entering his apartment he was once again greeted by a hungry cat. Eikichi slithered around his legs, purring and meowing trying to get his attention.

He fed her, and moved himself to his bathroom. Ever since his encounter with the girl he had wanted to do what he was feeling he should. He was feeling emotionally drained and he needed some release.

His hand slipped into the drawer with the razor, and pulled it out.

He hated who he was; he almost ran away from the girl, he was a coward, selfish, full of pride: Ugly inside and out.

His hand pulled his sleeve up revealing the bandaged arm. His fingers slowly undid it, till finally the cut from the previous night could be seen. The wound split slightly open and blood still seeped out. He placed the razor next to it.

Even though he knew he wasn't supposed to do it, it felt right. His hand slipped down his arm, the razor dragging behind, cutting yet another identically slit.

The chemicals in his brain exploded with signals of pain, flooding him with endorphin. He felt free, invincible, gone.

His body relaxed, his arm gushed out blood, but he didn't seem to notice or care. He was just not there.

After just a minute, his high was gone. He once again bandaged up his arm, cleaned out the sink of blood, and headed out to collapse on his bed.

As soon as his head landed on the pillow he fell asleep. His body took in the warmth and comfort that came with his sheets. The bed had become his sanctuary.

He didn't know for how long he was asleep, but after what same like just minutes loud bangs outside his room brought him back to consciousness.

The loud thump seemed to be coming from the front door. He sat up on his bed while the banging continued, slowly getting louder. Whoever was there had no patience what so ever; but he had no tolerance for obnoxious people- or at least not now.

He got up, opened his bed room door, and pocked his head out. "Shizuru." He called out for his sister.

"Shizuru." He said stepping out and walking to the front door that never seemed to miss a beat.

"Sis..." He froze when he finally could hear his sister.

"Who's there?" He could hear her voice coming from the front door. But no response came from the other side, just the banging. "Tell me what you want, or I'll be forced to call the cops." She said, her voice strong but she looked cautious and a little frightened.

He sensed something in the air: a demon aura. One he recognizes, one that he has sensed before.

"Shizuru." He whispered, trying to keep his voice down so it wouldn't be heard from the other side. "Shizuru." This time a little louder, but Shizuru didn't seem to hear him.

He began his careful walk towards her; his foots steps light so the floor wouldn't creek. The banging on the door continued. He stretched out his arm and placed his hand on Shizuru's shoulder to get her attention. Shizuru jumped and turned, revealing a base-ball bat held tightly in her hand.

She released a sigh. "Lit'le bro, don't scare me like that."

Kuwabara looked from the threatening bat slightly held up in the air to Shizuru who seemed a little shaken up. "Who's out there?"

"I don't know. They won't say."

"Why haven't you called the cops?"

Shizuru bit her lip nervously. "The line is dead." She said looking closely at Kuwabara.

"What?" He almost whispered.

"Kazuma..."

"Yeah..." He gulped.

"Tell me the truth."

"'kay..." He looked up at her nervously; he knew what she was going to ask.

"Did… you… pay the phone bill?" She said slowly spelling out her words.

Kuwabara gulped again, "Yeah." He answered her hesitantly. Usually having to remember if he did or didn't accomplish a task made him doubt himself.

"'Cause you are so dead if you didn't." She pulled him from the ear down to her eyesight to prove how serious she was.

"I did. I did. I promise you I did." He said through clenched teeth, his ears were always his weak spots.

Then the phone began to ring. Both the Kuwabara siblings looked at each other bewildered, then to the phone that sat at the stand next to the living room couch.

Kuwabara walked over to it and answered it, not saying anything to the receiver at first, waiting to hear anything suspicious from the other end.

But nothing was heard. "Hello." Kuwabara finally said; no one responded back. A click was heard and the dial tone played soon after.

"Well?" Shizuru asked impatiently.

"I told you I did." He joked, his immaturity earning him a smack on the back of his head.

"Who was it?" She asked while Kuwabara rubbed at the small stinging pain.

"No one answered, they just hung up." He said pouting while still rubbing at his head. "Ya didn't have to hit me."

Shizuru just ignored him and picked up the phone and placed it next to her ear. After a couple of seconds she looks up at him. "It's dead." And the banging at the door stopped.

Everything was quiet besides the ticking of the clock that hung on the living room wall. Kuwabara looked up at it, noticing that the clock's seconds-hand ticked back and forth, never moving from the 46th second.

Shizuru must have had a premonition because she placed a hand on Kuwabara's chest and began to push him to the hall. "Lit'le bro, go to your room and lock the door." She said looking at the front door as if waiting for something to happen.

"Shizuru..." He began to protest. No matter how much bigger or how much stronger he got then her, she has never really let go of feeling it was her duty to protect him of all harm or danger ever since their parents died.

"GO!" She yelled; but it was too late. Whatever was at the other side broke its way through the door with a powerful blast sending the Kuwabara siblings darting to the wall.

It took him just a couple of seconds to get back up. He looked to his side for his sister. Her body lay motionless in between of the rubble that once separated the living room from Shizuru's room.

"Shizuru!" He cried out for her, quickly moving to her side. "Shizuru." He shook her body only enough to bring her back to conscious.

"Hmm..." Was the only noise he could hear from her before two gigantic hands grabbed him from under his arms and tossed him to the other end of the room, and breaking yet another wall.

He landed twisted. His legs caught under heavy peaces of broken material, one of his hands stuck under him and the other arm was cracked in two; the bone's jagged ends visibly protruding past the skin.

As the dust settled around him, his eyes finally got a chance to focus on his surroundings. He immediately noticed the room, recognizably it as his bathroom; but the walls where wrong. They were painted a dark shade of red: crimson. The mirror had been replaced as if it had never been gone, and there was a sent of decay.

He tried to pick himself up, tried to move anything else besides his head, but it was all in vain. The rubble on top of him had him pinned down, but even under all the debris, he couldn't help think he should be in pain. He couldn't feel physical pain though he wasn't numb, which confused his feeble human mind to high degrees.

But he had no time to ponder the conscience of his human functions; his sister was still very vulnerable to whatever danger had got him stuck in his current predicament. " SHIZURU." He yelled all the while thinking, if he couldn't feel then what he was about to do won't hurt a bit. He arched his back as much as he could; giving room for his arm that was caught underneath him to be pulled from under.

With his functional hand, now freed, he pushed himself up to a sitting position; his sight quickly pinpointing where he remembered his sister last lay.

To his surprise; the red demon from his nightmare, stood over Shizuru. Her arms dangled under her as the demon picked her up with one arm and bared her neck with the other.

"NO." Kuwabara yelled catching the demon's attention.

The demon laughed with the same deep laugh he heard coming from him in the cave; then said to him, "Just because I promised I wouldn't eat you, doesn't mean I can't eat her. Now, be a good ningen and let me enjoy my reward." and finished with another echoing laugh.

"No." He yelled again as he saw the demon open his mouth, and bent his neck down to Shizuru's long sensitive one. "DON'T YOU TOUCH HER, DON'T YOU FUCKIN' TOUCH HER."

His good arm began to push at the rocks that pinned him down, but every time he did an excruciating pain stung between his elbow and wrist right above the skin of his forearm of his free unharmed arm, making his arm automatically be pulled back to his chest in surprise. How could it be that his trampled body couldn't feel pain, but his good arm hurt for no reason?

His frustration grew with every attempt to get the rubble off of him, but no matter how much he wiggled and yelled and pushed and pulled, the rocks weren't going anywhere.

The one stinging arm burned with pain now more then ever, but he still kept on trying. He took one more glance at his sister; the demon had bitten her neck, and was now pulling tissue from it with his teeth. Blood poured uncontrollably out of her body; and with one more anguished yell he pulled at his limbs, tears where making their way down his cheek. His heart was at his throat, how could his body not cooperate now that his sister needed him? How could he not find the strength? How could this be happening? How could he let this happen?

Finally, his legs were released and his body jolted upright on his mattress. He looked around in a dark room for the demon and his sister, but they where nowhere in sight. Kuwabara gulped to soak his sore, dry throat. Realizing he was safe in his room, he placed a fist over his racing heart and leaned over on his propped legs and released the dry moan that uncontrollably came out, shills running throughout his body.

His shoulders shook as the initial shock of his nightmare subsided; his body still held the cold sweat produced from his nightmare.

"I told you to stop." A familiar demanding voice said.

Kuwabara sniffled a bit and wiped the tears that had managed to escape, on his comforter, before turned and faced the small demon to which the deep voice belonged to.

"- the fug - you doing 'ere, Hiei?" He asked with as much neutrality in his voice as he could, but the mucus clogging his nose muted some sounds.

"Maybe if I tell Urameshi, he would know what to do to make you stop!" Hiei hissed the last word as if it burned his tongue to say it.

"What are you talking about?" Kuwabara said not facing the trespasser.

"Let me see your arm." Hiei demanded as he approached him. His voice was in his usual bored tone.

"Get off me, Hiei." Kuwabara said as he hid the arm with the razor cut wounds he assumed Hiei referred to under his sheets. "I'm 'ick of you always…" but before he could finish Hiei had his arm in a tight grip and managed to expose it from its layers of bloodied coverings revealing the reopened wounds. Kuwabara sighed at his obvious fast defeat, but really he was in no mood to fight, his body still shook and his eyes burned and all in all he felt worn out. Just keeping as much of his remaining strong character standing in front of the small demon was draining him of energy.

Kuwabara laid in bed as Hiei bandaged his arm. His eyes focused in and out of the room as his lids fluttered open and closed. He was trying his best to stay up at least until Hiei left, but his mind seemed to protest the idea of having to waste so much energy, on something as pointless.

Once Hiei finished, he looked over at the sleeping Kuwabara, and like every other time he had dropped-in in one of Kuwabara's nightmares, Kuwabara would sleep more soundly.

Hiei place a hand on the ningen's chest, and stared at his features for a while. Noticing nothing in particular but instead in deep thought, his eye brows frowned as if conflicted. He finally leaned over him, and placed his lips lightly over Kuwabara's exposed neck and whispered "Stupid ningen." Before placing a light kiss there. Kuwabara shifted a little under his bedspread at the sudden sensation, but remained asleep. Hiei observed him a little longer before making his way out the window and inhabiting the tree that stood across the street just in view of the now peaceful sleeper.


	7. The Itch

Authors Notes: I know this chapter sucks… don't beat me up. When I tried to edit this I had an annoying pain in my chest. No excuse, but I don't know what else to say. Much thanks to everyone who reviewed my last chapter since I really wasn't at all happy with it, but either way, I really appreciated it. This is actually the first fic that I start and develop a bit. Now, all I have to do is continue and finish it. Hopefully I do, so then I would have proof that not all I start I don't finish. Ha! Life is a drag. I have a feeling I'm about to come face to face with 'writers block' and I have no way on avoiding it. I've also been thinking of changing my screen name from SS46 to GA46 or GEA46 or GEM46. Don't really think anybody really cares, just felt like sharing that...

… alright, on with the story.

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Chapter 7: The Itch

Kuwabara woke up the next morning not to the sound of an alarm, or chirping birds, or the sunrise, or by Eikichi, but to an annoying itchy sensation coming from under the bandaged arm. He went about his usual mornings ignoring it. As he walked to school he pulled out a study sheet, that he had written while the teacher spoke of the lesson in class, and studied it, every once in a while unconsciously sticking his hand inside his sleeve and scratching the itch over the well-wrapped arm.

Suddenly a presence casually moved to his side and said, "Hey."

"Hey." Kuwabara said back with the same neutrality in his voice that the other had easily possessed.

"Got you something, big man."

Kuwabara turned to look at Yusuke, letting his hands fall to his side with the study sheets messily rolled up in one hand. Yusuke held a hot coffee to Kuwabara. The cup similar to the one Kuwabara got the previous day, with the same logo and everything. Sizing it up, he yanked it from Yusuke's grip and downed the hot liquid while Yusuke looked at him with concerned.

Immediately, Kuwabara felt like a weight was lifted of his shoulders. "Thanks." he whispered, finding it the only way to express his gratitude.

"Eh, it's nothing." Yusuke said modestly. "I'm just glad you're talking to me, again." He finished cheerfully wrapping a hand around the taller mans shoulder as they continued walking.

Kuwabara sighed. He wasn't sure how different he was acting, but maybe he still had time to make it seem like nothing had changed. Like he was given another chance to redeem his life, or at least to make it seem as normal to him as possible. He gave a small smile to Yusuke.

"So, 'we cool?" Yusuke asked, stepping in front of him and extending a hand towards Kuwabara.

He looked at it, it was his chance and he was going to take it. "Yeah, 'we cool." Kuwabara said clasping his hand with that of Yusuke's into a handshake.

"Cool, see ya after class." With that he turned and walked away. "Oh, and I like your new hair cut." Yusuke yelled out never turning back. Kuwabara watched for a while as he walked away, unconsciously scratching at his bandaged arm again, before walking into the building.

As the day went by, and he took test after test, the itch on his arm grew to be unbearably uncomfortable. At one point, in between an exam, he even attempted to stick a pencil up his sleeve to give him at least some relief; but only managed to break the pencil. By the time classes where out and everyone was making plans for their summer break, all he had in mind was tearing the bandage off and giving his arm the much awaited scratch.

He was leaning against his usual brick wall as he tucked and pulled on the bandage, trying to fit a finger inside but he could not seem to reach the spot. Hopelessly, he straightened up from his slump position, he leaned his head back on the brick wall and looked up at the bright sky. He sighed and closed his eyes, absorbing the warmth coming from the sun; trying his best to relax, but it was almost impossible since the itch remained persistent.

As his last resort, he swung his arm to the edge of the brick wall, somewhat slamming the itch onto it and began to carelessly saw his arm over the brick surface. With a violent motion he pushed and pulled his limb over the acute edge to satisfy the itch, unfortunately, to no avail.

Suddenly he felt a pain run up his arm and he abruptly pulled it away; he must have done it to hard and it was probably reopened and bleeding, but he didn't seem to mind it much since he actually assumed that it would it happen eventually. He just hugged his arm close to his chest as he panted and glared at the wall as if it was its fault to begin with.

His attention was suddenly taken away from his limb and he turned to look behind him as he heard whispers. The two girls he saw before just outside of his apartment, with the blue uniforms, stared back at him, once again gossiping; their arms crossed with one another, giving the resemblance of conjoined twins, as they stood side by side and pointing a finger towards his direction.

"What?" He yelled as he felt his self worth minimize to a caged animal under their scrutinizing gaze.

Both the girls stopped their whispers at Kuwabara's sudden outburst, slapping their hands over their mouths as if offended by Kuwabara's acknowledgement of them, turned and continued it once again as they walked away, but this time no longer in whispers but in a loud mockery of him.

He could not take it anymore, staying quiet was never one of his best attributes, so venting out his true feelings one more time wasn't going to change how people thought of him. "WHAT?" He yelled out again, but the girls kept on walking. "I HAVE AN ITCH… I HAVE A FUCKIN' ITCH… WHAT WOULD YOU DO?" He finished practically using up all the air in his lungs and recovering as much as possible with a deep inhalation that left him sill panting for more as his rage seemed to diminish with practically all the self respect he had left for himself. But he had to admit, he did feel better.

"That's not a good way to catch a girl's attention." A well expected voice said. Immediately Kuwabara turned to meet big brown eyes, and tugged at his sleeves trying to make himself look composed and neutral.

"Oh, hey." He irritably said as walked past him, releasing a sigh when he thought he had enough distance between him and Yusuke so not to be heard from the other.

"What? Not happy to see me? He said, pretending not to be bothered by Kuwabara's behavior.

"No, it's not that." It was barely a whisper, but Yusuke could tell that something was bothering him. He has noticed it practically all week, he just wishes he could just punch it out of him. But if Yusuke was correct, he knew that that's not how things work when dealing with friends and problems and all that stuff. So, he just had to find another approach to it.

He remembered how on a sleepless night he watched something on a soap-opera that could particularly do the trick to get Kuwabara to open up. Then, he thought it was funny and queerly, but now he could almost understand, almost. Yusuke rolled his eyes and internally braced himself, getting ready to test the waters. "I'm listening." Yusuke began with a cheesy smile, trying his best to sound honest but not to pushy. He never expected that having a friend was like being in a relationship, which either way was both foreign to him, and he once again comprehended why he never took anything between him and Keiko to seriously.

Kuwabara sighed again. "So, 'we going or not?" He said as he slowly walked away, down to the sidewalk, heading out of the campus; leaving his friend with a frown on his face, partially in disappointment but basically in confusion.

Yusuke growled under his breath in frustration and mumbled to himself. "Why doesn't this come with a manual?" noting that his attempts where taken for granted. He could almost punch a wall right now, but instead held his hands up in front of him, curling his fingers as if he was squeezing something in his palms, fighting the urge to actually put Kuwabara's neck in between them. Finally after relaxing and taking a couple of breathers, he ran and took his position next to Kuwabara as they walked down the sidewalk, thinking it was better to try some other time.

They remained quiet all the while, the sun was beginning to set but Yusuke didn't pay attention to the beautiful sight in front of him, all he seemed to notice was Kuwabara and how he kept his gaze on his feet; and how every time he did glance up, he would squint at the dimming sun, and clench his jaw as if troubled; and how the angle of the sun revealed a rapid pulsing vain on Kuwabara's neck; and how he remained so close to the wall, and as far from Yusuke.

It wasn't like Kuwabara to act this way. He would usually talk and laugh, and just plainly be so lively and not so painfully distant, like he was now.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Kurama and Hiei where already in Koenma's office by the time Yusuke and Kuwabara arrived to the toddler's usual whereabouts; Kurama was seated in one of the four chairs in front of Koenma's desk while Hiei was leaning against a wall. Yusuke and Kuwabara went ahead and sat on each side of Kurama who was distracted reading a file similar to the ones that lay on Koenma's desk.

Yusuke curiously looked over Kurama's shoulder to see what classified novel he was so entangled with at the current moment. "So… what'cha reading there, Kurama?" Yusuke asks. "Let me guess, blood, gore, murder…"

"Mainly." Kurama responds without taking his eyes of the material. "It's our next mission."

"Oh, fun. Let me see." Yusuke said yanking it from Kurama's hands.

Kurama rolls his eyes annoyed at Yusuke's rudeness, but he was use to it. "You could ask."

"Huh…" Yusuke responds as he scanned through the file. "I did ask."

Then the large doors swung open and a miniature person fallowed by a blue ogre walk in, but Yusuke doesn't seem to notice as the toddler took a stand next to him, barely peaking over the chair's armrest. Koenma makes a sound as if clearing his throat, and with a tiny hand, he reaches and takes the document from Yusuke.

"You should know better then to read through unauthorized documents, Yusuke." Koenma says as he walks over to his chair behind the desk and tosses the document carelessly to George; who juggled the documents a couple of times into the air before catching it securely in his arms finishing his interesting trick with a sigh, absolutely relived on the fact that today he wasn't going to get fired.

"What'cha gonna do, huh, little tot? Send me to spirit world prison?" He said leaning over on his chair and resting his arm on Koenma's desk.

"That's not a bad idea." Koenma says contemptuously.

"Right." Yusuke laughs not taking Koenma seriously. "Then whose gonna save the spirit world every time a big nasty demon come-ah-knocking?" And he continued laughing absolutely in bliss of Koenma's irritation towards him at the current moment.

Koenma's face turned red at the lack of respect from the spirit detective, but all in all kept his mouth shut with a pouty face as he crossed his arms and sucked on his pacifier vigorously.

"Oh, c'mon Koenma, lighten up." He said reaching over the desk and grabbing Koenma into a head lock all the while laughing. "I'm sure Kuwabara, Hiei, and Kurama can do a good job without me, right?" He said turning to face his team mates and immediately letting go of Koenma's wiggling, cursing body as soon as he saw Kuwabara, who wore his hoody over his bowed head, his elbows over his legs and his eyes over his palms looking pretty sick.

Hiei stood up off the wall as he noticed Yusuke notice Kuwabara, and everyone else turned to look at what Yusuke was starring at; even Koenma stopped his whining. Kurama placed a hand over his shoulder and his body flinched a little at the sudden touch. "Kuwabara, are you all right?" Kurama asks.

"Yeah." He said from under the hood with a sigh. "Just a little sleepy."

"It's getting late, and all we've done so far is waste time." Hiei interrupted.

Kurama turned to look at Hiei, and with little hesitation said. "He's right; we could use the extra sunlight."

A little red faced Koenma nodded in agreement. "Right, everyone knows what to do, report to me as soon as possible." He said as he picked up his stamp, sighed, and began to stamp away at the piles of paper over his desk.

It didn't take long to get to ground zero of the latest disturbance in spirit world. The job was familiar and routine. A gang of demons, who are way over their heads, would try to take over small friendly towns, harassing the residents and sometimes causing high levels of damage. That's when they come in; in cases like this, their job is to rally the bad guys up and personally mail them to Koenma who then figures out what to do with them.

Now, they all stood in hiding ready to barge in on the party, but this time it didn't seem like routine; though familiar. As they all walked towards the middle of town, Kuwabara felt like he was in his own cloud; floating instead of walking; dreaming instead of living.

Yusuke yelled from the top of his lungs, daring their targets to come out in the open, but all Kuwabara heard was his own heart thumping against his chest. One by one, the demons started popping out from their whereabouts. His body started to tremble and break out in cold sweats and his breathing became shallow. He ran a hand through his short hair, leaving his hand at the top of his head as he examined the scene playing before him. His team mates were exposing themselves to these menacing demons, each one chasing and capturing them with no sign of fear. He was beginning to feel lightheaded and faint; he gulped once, his throat dry, and took a step back. 'I can't do this.' He thought as he felt himself almost chocking on his own tongue and his hand came up to his neck.

He let himself fall to the floor, pulled his head to his hands. 'What if I fail? What if I die? What if they get hurt? What if I can't help? SHIT… I need to do something, I need to help them. What is wrong with me? Get up, Kuwabara. GET UP, KUWABARA!'

His stomach began to hurt; his heart palpitated awkwardly and could have sworn that he was having a heart attack. From within his mental fog he heard a girl's scream. Slowly he lifted his gaze and scanned the many battles going on all around him till finally his sight landed on a little cat demon girl being dragged by a slithery green demon by her tiny arm. Kuwabara flared up.

Suddenly he stood, and began to charge towards the demon, and in the process summoned his spirit sword. The demon saw Kuwabara approaching and managed to let go of the girl before Kuwabara's brute force from the sudden swing of the sword knocked him and the little girl to the ground.

Kuwabara twirled around as soon as he could to face the demon, making eye contact with him as he lightly panted for air. The demon coward a little under Kuwabara's gaze before he quickly stood up and began to run. Kuwabara sighed before he too took off to chase after him.

They ran past the little girl, through the battles, into an alley way, cutting past a garden, inside a house, over and around the furniture, through the front door and back into the battle filled street until Kuwabara un-expectantly bumped into a panicked civilian and the demon stopped running to turn and take his breath all the while laughing at Kuwabara's fallen grace. But the demon's fun was short lived for he stiffened as Kuwabara darted to his feet and the chase once again continued.

Finally, the demon landed himself in a dead end in between two houses and Kuwabara slowly approached him with his sword pointed straight at the frightened demon.

"No. Please. I know you don't really want to do this. Please, have a heart, mistier. Let me go… Please, please, please let me go." The demon cried nervously pressing his body to the wall; his fingers tracing the wall's surface.

Kuwabara gave a small growl. "No." He said as he placed the tip of his spirit sword close to the demon's neck. "I'll give you something more." His breathing was deep and his arm trembled from the adrenaline coursing through his veins as he pushed the sword slowly into the demon's flesh. The demon squirmed and hissed in pain, his body shook in fear and the front of his pants suddenly began to get soaked. "I'll make you fade away." Kuwabara whispered to him in antagonism.

"Kuwabara!" A voice from behind him yelled. Kuwabara turned to meet two surprised faces; his breathing still deep. His sword moved in deeper causing the demon to squeal in pain.

"Release him." The red head said coolly.

But he couldn't, he needed this; he needed to make the demon hurt for all it has done, for everyone it has hurt. He gulped, his obvious refusal to obey was comprehended by his friends; and they looked back at him with disappointment and resentment. He was immobile, stuck in between of what he should do and what he wanted to do. His breathing once again became shallow and everything in his mind was becoming distorted in his own confusion.

"Kuwabara." The brown eyed one warned. Kuwabara looked down at the floor as he felt himself want to just puke his guts out. He was breaking into cold sweats, breaking into nervousness, just plainly falling apart; right here, right in front of them for everyone to see how weak he was and for everyone to know what a coward he was. And there was no running away, no escape, no waking up just like one of his nightmares.

He began to involuntarily lower his sword as his vision began to tunnel. The sounds and voices blurred with one another and all he could hear was the quiet whisper of his own breathing as he slowly took a couple of step out of the way from all the confusing noises and all the confusing energy; just wanting to get away, just praying for the earth to open up and eat him whole; till his vision blacked out.

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Authors Notes (again): Thanks again for everyone that stuck for this long..


	8. Kiss of an Angel

Chapter 8: Kiss of an Angel

Kuwabara woke to the sound of a small beeping. His lids slightly parted and immediately took in the sight of his sister standing over him in a room that was not his own. Then Yusuke, Kurama, Botan, Keiko, and Genkai joined the picture.

"Is he up?" Keiko's worried voice asked.

"Where am… What happened?" Kuwabara groans as he reached to rub his head, he had an ache there quiet similar to a migraine; and as he did he felt a little stinging pain at the fold of his left arm. He hissed a little, immediately centering his attention at that point. A needle seemed to reside their; alarmingly being held in place by tape. As he went further down his bruised and professionally bound arm where he had hurt himself, he could see some sort of medical object pinching his index finger in which was also being securely held their by the same bounds as the needle. He moved the other hand to his neck where the demon from the cave had left him a bite, and that too was covered in bandages.

"It seems." Kurama responded Keiko's question.

Kuwabara slowly sat up on his bed and everyone else backed away a little to give him some room; all except his sister who stared intently at him, her arms crossed over her chest, and Yusuke whose anger radiated through his skin. He scanned the room; almost everyone seemed to be here. Even Hiei showed; he was leaning against the wall staring out the window, not really paying attention to the others. 'This can't be good.' Kuwabara figured.

"You have a lot of explaining to do, li'tle bro." Kuwabara heard his sister say, but he could not turn and face her.

"What happened?" Kuwabara asked again, avoiding Shizuru's demand.

"You fainted." Kurama calmly informed. "The doctor has made some examinations of your body" He added slowly. "He is curious of many of your wounds. He believes that many where caused by you."

Kuwabara cringed at the trueness of it, but pretended to not relate as he looked at Kurama with his eye brows in a questioning frown, as if whatever Kurama just said was absolute ludicrous.

"Is that true, Kazuma?" Shizuru asked exasperatingly.

He gaze fell to his hands as he once again heard his sister's voice, still not able to look at her knowing fully well how ease she could pick up on things by just looking into his face. And as his clenched the blankets in his fists he wondered if there was anyway he could just simply lie his way out of that assumption. But he couldn't think of anything to say. Noting Kuwabara's silence, Kurama continued. "And the others, he believes, are by some sort of abuse."

"They are battle wounds." Kuwabara quickly defended, for some unexplained reason, feeling enraged by yet another peace of theory so bluntly given to him. They all very well know what they are; they have seen such before from the missions they go to and the battles they have fought.

"Yes, we have not doubt they are, Kuwabara, just please listen. We don't need an explanation, for now." Kurama continued with his serene voice.

"Heck we don't." Yusuke budded in, but Keiko was quick in holding him back. She wrapped her arms around him, more to settle her sensitive emotions then anything else.

Kuwabara gulped at Yusuke's sudden outburst. This had to be another of his nightmares, he thought. Any second he expected the big red demon to burst out from any random wall, but it never did.

"Kuwabara, please work with us. Understand we are only trying to help." Kurama pleaded. "The doctor doesn't know about our missions or of spirit world, nor are we going to enlighten for his sake. But he does know and specializes in wounds, and some do look like abuse. Maybe even sexual abuse." Kuwabara unconsciously looked over at Hiei, who did not seem to budge from his position next to the window; the sun was already down, he must have been out just a couple of hours. "The detectives standing just outside the door were quick to assume Shizuru had something to do with…"

"But she didn't…" Kuwabara shouted, completely dumbfounded by this.

"Kuwabara, we know. We understand that Shizuru is incapable of doing anything like this."

"So, what's the problem?" Kuwabara yelled in frustration. "Tell him there's nothing wrong." For some reason he preferred the nightmares then such interrogation, and only wished for that the demon to appear soon to give every one something else to occupy their attentions with.

"It's not that simple, jackass. You fainted, there're weird cuts and bruises, and you almost KILLED someone in cold FUCKING blood. Obviously there's something wrong." Yusuke yelled back at him.

"Calm yourself, dimwit." Genkai finally spoke. Yusuke growled under his breath and made his way out the room in annoyance, Keiko followed close behind.

Everyone who was left in the room, stood quietly. After a while Kurama once again spoke. "The doctor made a whole bunch of scenarios. Like, one of Shizuru's guys…"

"But…" Kuwabara tried to speak but Kurama continued, he could feel himself wanting to just break down into tears ever since Yusuke's departure. All of a sudden things were become all too real; and real is not how he wanted things, he wanted it gone.

"Or something that happened between you and an enemy… a grudge that someone had against you."

"But…" And now all he wanted to do was to get Kurama to shut up and to make everyone stop staring at him. He did not need to be the center of a freak show, he did not deserve this.

"But the point is you're a minor. And if they finds any of this to be true, or worse, if they can't find a reason for what is displayed on your body… they will declare your sister inadequate of taking care of you, and maybe even press charges for negligence."

Kuwabara was beginning to rapidly take in shallow breaths as tears formed at his eyes. "Sis." He cried out for her, but she became a little distant. Her head was bowed, eyes shut, and she nervously bit her lower lip."

"They will take you away from her."

"Sis." He cried out a little louder, he couldn't let this happen. He refused to be split from his only living relative and be put in a foster home, again.

Shizuru could not hold herself back any longer. She wrapped her arms around him into a tight hug. "Kazuma, I love you." She cried into his ear.

"I know." Kuwabara whispered back, his tears trailed down his cheeks and onto her blouse as he embraced her into his arms, not wanting to ever let go.

"Kazuma, please tell me what happened. Please, tell me who did this to you." She begged.

"Sis… I…"

"Please." She said pulling herself away from him, and pulling over a tray full of hospital food. "Eat." A sad smile appeared on her face as she pushed a spoon into the oatmeal on a disposable dish.

"I… can't…" He said, never taking his eyes off of her.

Something must have struck hard in Shizuru because she took in some air, never releasing it and made her way out of the room. Botan, who was in the verge of tears herself, followed her out.

"I'm okay." He whispered to his sister who already had left the room, tears kept on pouring out.

"The doctor, told us that the reason you fainted, Kuwabara." Kurama said grabbing Kuwabara's attention once again. "…Is a direct link to your body's starved state."

Kuwabara dug his head into his hands and began to shake in something between frustration and despair.

"When was the last time you ate something?" Kurama asked quietly, and sincerely worried as he looked at Kuwabara's malnourished body shake; his already pale skin looked grimly grey, and the muscles he once held pride on stuck tighter to his bones then they have ever before. Kurama could just beat himself up for not noticing before, but with all the stuff Kuwabara was wearing under his school uniform, it was no wonder no one noticed.

Kuwabara just shook his head. Thinking back, he honestly couldn't remember when or what it had been.

"Either way, it'll be a good idea to start now." He turned to head out, but hesitantly halted midway and sighed before turning back to look at Kuwabara who still had his face in his hands. "We'll be here, Kuwabara. I know that you don't want to talk about it, but when you're ready, we'll still be here." Kurama finished as he also walked out the room. Moments later, Genkai fallowed.

"Genkai." Kuwabara yelled after her. Genkai turned to look at him as she stood at the door. "Please…" He began. "Please tell her, I didn't mean to hurt her."

Genkai lowered her eyes in understandment. "Maybe it time, for once, to worry about yourself for a change." Genkai said respectively keeping her eyes down, and disappeared into the hall.

Kuwabara suddenly felt alone, and his tears wouldn't stop coming out no matter how much he wanted them to. His head felt like it was pounding from the constant pressure he was putting it through with all the crying, but he just couldn't stop.

"You should have listened."

Kuwabara looked up, and noticed Hiei looking at him from beside the window. "What are you talking about?"

"The cuts; I told you to stop and you didn't listen to me, of course. If I would have known you were starving yourself too, I would have shoved food down you're throat."

"Shut up, Hiei." Kuwabara sniffled; his tears seemed to slow down. "Why the fuck would you care?"

"This is obviously caused by your own stupidity." He spat, ignoring Kuwabara's question as he continued.

Kuwabara, suddenly nerved, picked up his tray of food and through it at Hiei who easily dodged it and was now making his way out. "Get out." Kuwabara added.

Hiei snorted mockingly.

Kuwabara quietly eyed him as Hiei walked towards the door. "Where were you anyways?" Kuwabara spontaneously asked.

"Next to the window, you buffoon." Hiei blurted out in ridicule.

"No…" Kuwabara almost whispered trying not to feel bothered by how Hiei seemed amused at his expense. He looked down at his hands, fiddling with the blankets in nervous contemplation. "The day in the cave, where were you?"

Hiei stopped his march and seemed to freeze in deep thought for a moment; the tense atmosphere that had built in just mere seconds since the birth of the question made Kuwabara look up in apprehension. He looked at Hiei, studying his still rigid frame.

"Don't blame me for your incompetence." Hiei finally said harshly through clenched teeth, and continued his march slamming the door behind him.

Kuwabara sat alone in the dark for a while, his tears had subsided, but something about what Hiei had just said triggered something else, bursting in flames something inside of him. What was he thinking even hinting that Hiei could have had anything to do with this? If there was anyone to blame, it was himself. He was certain that the incident in the cave was something he had little control over, and even if he lost control then it doesn't mean that he had lost control over everything. If he would have had controlled himself just this evening and had not tried to murder that demon, he wouldn't be in this situation. It was his fault. He's the one who's acting different. He's the one who's hurting people. He's the one who led himself to expose his own stupidity and selfishness. If he didn't he wouldn't be here, sheltered in this room like a poor abused child, and he refused to be that.

He carelessly yanked the object of his finger and the needle of his arm. The fold of his arm bled from the sudden maltreatment but Kuwabara paid no attention to it. He eagerly looked through the many drawers and compartment in his room for his clothes. In one of them he found his denim pants, a plain white shirt, and his shoes; so he got dressed, and sneaked out the hospital.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

As he walked down the lonely streets he wished he would have stopped by his apartment for a sweater. The night was chilly, and though his small stay at the hospital did recover some of his energy, it simply wasn't enough. At his current state, his body just did not have the same life it had once possessed before any of this started. The life to withstand the cold wind just like it was a measly breeze; he was sick and felt like he was getting sicker; but honestly, he had no intentions on going back. Besides, truth be told, Shizuru probably noticed by now that he was missing from his room, and someone was probably waiting for him to show up at his apartment. But he really didn't want to go home and confront them again with their questions, and demanding answers. Hopefully, if he waited long enough, maybe two months, all of it will blow over. So when he comes back, if they actually care, they would just be happy to see him and not press on this issue any further. He sighed as he realized how stupid his idea sounded.

A cold wind blew by and he hugged his body as it seemed to push him back. All he asked for was some shelter for a couple of minutes, maybe till the sun rises, or at least till he got the courage to keep walking. And maybe he could sneak into a plane, or a ship, and escape the whole country in general. Start a new life somewhere else. Get a hold of Yukina to tell her to come and live with him. So they can live together, and stay forever with her. He knows he can trust her to keep discrete about his whereabouts. He rolled his eyes at himself; he could just about kick himself on the head for letting his imagination run loose again.

He hugged himself tighter as another chilly wind blew past him. Out of the corner of his eyes he saw a familiar neon sign glowing brightly towards his direction; reading _OPEN._ With no hesitation he entered the well-known coffee shop, immediately absorbing the warmth and the smell of fresh coffee. He rubbed at both his arms with his hands, making the friction warm him up faster.

He walked down the rows, pretending to be looking for something, when in all actuality he didn't even have a single yen in his pocket. Kuwabara looked up as he felt a pair of eyes stare at him. The shop owner looked intently at him, her elderly features squinting her eyes at him and staring him up in down. Unconsciously, Kuwabara looked down at himself too, and noticed his arm still had the dried blood from when he yanked the needle, his arm wrapped in bandages, and a hospital identification tag around his wrist. He could just imagine what the lady was thinking of him. He hid his arm from her view as she walked around from behind the counter with what seemed to be a broom in hand. Kuwabara, as if shocked, jumped back as she took a swing at him.

"Hey, Lady." Kuwabara yelled as he just barely dodged it. "Is that how you treat your customers?"

"GET OUT." She yelled as she took another swing at him, knocking down a stand of candy. "GET OUT."

"What?" Kuwabara yelled back at her, still surprised. "I just want some coffee." He confessed.

"NO DRUGS. GET OUT OR I'LL CALL THE COPS." She swung yet again, this time hitting a stand of pop drinks. The drinks fuzzed uncontrollably as they hit the floor. Some ricochet from the floor, flying in different directions and one in particular hitting Kuwabara square in the stomach. He somewhat caught it, somewhat doubled over as it hit harder then he expected almost making him lose his balance.

She took another swing, this time Kuwabara took a step back, slipping on the slippery floor and falling straight on his ass. The lady took the opportunity to smack him a couple more times, as she continued yelling. "GET OUT. GET OUT. GET OUT. GET OUT."

"Ouw! Okay, okay. Let me get up, lady. Okay. Ow. I'll leave if you let me get up." He yelled from under his arm, trying to protect himself from getting a direct blow to the face. "Okay." He yelled on more time, but she wasn't having any of it. So, as fast as he could, he got back on is feet and darted to the door, running out as the lady started to throw random things at him. A coffee mug, a stuffed animal, a pen, even a lighter; some hit him some didn't. Till she finally slammed the door, locking it, and peeked out from the framed glass to glare at him as he slowly walked away.

Like he wasn't having a bad enough night, now he had her to thank for having a soaked, sticky back side, and he smelled of sugar soda pops. He was sure to attract stray dogs, or worse, pregnant flies. He sighed, as he came to realization he had no where to go, and just took the moment to lean up against the wall, just besides the alley way. For the first time realizing how tiered he felt. He hugged himself again, wanting to just disappear.

"Having a rough night?"

Kuwabara jerked his head up as if suddenly woken, and inspected the stranger to whom the voice belonged to. He looked up to find aqua eyes, dirty blond hair, beautiful smile, glowing persona, and he recognized her. She was the student to whish he let borrow a pencil, the one with the limo.

He kept staring at her, slowly taking in her appearance and shifting a little as she approached him. She wore a halo on her head, a white gown a little above mid thigh, and amazing large white wings behind her. He could feel his lungs collapse into his stomach, as he lifted himself of the wall, alarmed. His eyes wide and his already extremely pale face went white.

_She's dead._

He lost his balance as he came to that realization, falling straight into a couple garbage bags in the alley way as his futile attempt to get away.

But how could she be? He didn't sense her.

"Wow. Slow down there, cowboy." She giggled, taking a couple of seconds to stare at him before helping him up to his feet.

Once up, he looked intently at her for a while, not able to say a word as he was still dizzy from the fall. He just breathed deeply, till finally she spoke. "It's a costume." But he continued to stare at her as if she had spoken some sort of random gibberish. In all honesty, he just couldn't think of anything to say in fears of sounding stupider then he already appeared.

"What did you do to her, anyways?" She said changing the subject.

"Nothing." He finally said, releasing it with a sigh. "She just beat me with a broom, and I don't know why, I think she might be senile."

It was her turn to stare at him warily.

"You don't believe me." He said looking away, absolutely insulted.

"Well, you don't exactly seem like the harmless type, especially when…" She looked him up and down and smiled. "Well…"

"Yeah, I get it." He said interrupting her, but she just gave him an even bigger smile.

They heard a couple of voices and they both turned as two men in uniforms, wearing badges entered the mini coffee shop. But Kuwabara didn't think much of them. So, they just stood there as he looked nervously at his feet, feeling awkward for not having anything to say to her. Normally, he would put up a show. Show of his muscles in various bulking-up positions, flirting with the pretty girls, but he just wasn't in the mood and felt awfully not like himself to even attempt.

"She probably called the cops." She finally said as she suddenly shoved him back into the alley and he fell back down on the bags. He was about to protest when un-warningly she got atop of him, deliberately planting a kiss on his lips, catching him totally of guard. Even after his attempt to protest he never broke off, just melted into it. To deep in shock and desire to even notice the two voices as they talked.

"Did you see the mess he made in there? That little thief is going straight to juvy once we catch him. "

"Yeah."

Kuwabara's fingers unconsciously traced down her arm, but she pushed it down into the bags with one of her hands; never breaking apart from the kiss.

"She said he took off this way not to long ago."

"Yeah, we'll catch up to him in no time."

He moved his hands to her waist, but she got him by the wrists and pushed them down over his head; gravity obviously on her side.

"I'm sure he's the one that sneaked out from the hospital; she described him to the T. Bandaged arm, red hair, tall and slender." They said as they walked by.

"Yeah, punks these days think they can do whatever they want…"

She let the voices vanish into the nothing before she finally broke away from the kiss and picked herself up, helping him up as well, again.

"Running away?" She asked indifferently as she was tugging at her dress, clearing it from any wrinkles that had formed. Kuwabara just placed his fingers over his lips as she adjusted her skirt, still in light shock. But he just ignored the question, hearing her word it out like that made his actions sound so much more cowardly then he attended it to.

"I can help you."

Still keeping quiet, he picked up his gaze to look at her, a brow up in curiosity. 'How could he refuse such an offer from an angel?' But he knew very well that he shouldn't trust anybody, no matter how paranoid that may be. Especially one dressed in such disguise.

"And all you have to do…" She purred as she began to walk to a vehicle that seemed pretty expensive. "Is fallow." and disappeared into it.

Kuwabara looked at all directions of the empty street, weighing in his options. He really had no choice, he had no where else to go, cops where looking for him, and it was cold.

He sighed as he looked down at his feet and smiled, unconsciously rubbing his fingers once again on his lips. He could still feel her there. 'Besides.' He thought. 'Who is he to refuse the request of an _angel_?'

He walked over to the vehicle and too disappearing into it.

Author's Notes: I was really nervous about this chapter, so please be kind! I have three goals that I really want to complete for the month of February. Writing this, and another of my fanfics, is one. The problem is if I complete the other two it would leave little room for writing. So, what I'm trying to say is, I'll still keep writing just because I like to write. But it's not going to be often, I'll try anyways. 

Hope you enjoyed it, I know I'm a confusing person and I don't make any sense, but work with me, especially you Hobbit. Review if you like or don't.


	9. Seduced by Suicide

Author's Notes: Finally, I got it up! I'm proud of myself.

Chapter 9: Seduced by Suicide

He wasn't going to lie to himself. He had a bad feeling about this. She drove way above the speed limit, and if there was anything he was trying to avoid was the _cops_, and here he was in a vehicle set to attract such attention.

"You seem a little uptight. Are you all right?" She asked noting Kuwabara's nervousness.

"What's your name anyways?" He asked trying to change the subject.

"Sui. My friends call me Sui."

"Sui?" He asked as he bit the tip of his thumb trying to stop himself from jumping out, though he was really tempted to.

"Yeah, short for _Suicide_."

"Oh." He gulped; a heart attack. That's how he was going to die, he thought.

"They figure I have no limits." She shrugged, dismissing the idea.

"Do you?" He asked finally turning around to look at her.

"Do I what?" She said sending a smile towards his direction.

"Have any limits?" He irritably asked looking away to hide the blush that suddenly seemed to make an appearance on his cheeks.

She shrugged her shoulders. "Ah. We're here!" She exclaimed excitedly.

Kuwabara turned to look as she pulled up into a driveway that was attached to one of the many mansions on this side of town. As they pulled up closer to the main entrance, it was clear to see that it contain a large amount of people, all who coincidentally wore white attires – or maybe it wasn't much of a coincidence, Kuwabara really didn't put much thought onto it. She pulled up and had no problems as she got out the vehicle with the massive wings still attached to her back.

Kuwabara too got out and took his position next to Sui as they walked in towards the bombastic entrance. She wrapped her arm around his, pulling herself closer, and whispered into his ear. "Just fallow me." and rested her cheek on Kuwabara's arm.

Kuwabara just fallowed seeing there was no reason to object though he didn't really know where he was being lead to. He just goggled at the very luxurious architecture through the crowds of people inside of it. He was impressed by the marble floor, the high ceilings, the seemingly artistic portraits, the velvety curtains, everything. He couldn't help wonder to whom all of this belong to and why they would let people trash it.

"…this is Kuwabara." Sui yelled through the loud music that appeared to pass as rock-n-roll, totally catching Kuwabara's attention at the sound of his name. He turned to face her and her acquaintance, which seemed to be just dangling from two other girls at each side of him, being supported only by his arms as they snaked around their necks. He wore sunglasses over his eyes, his wavy long dark hair came to his shoulders, his sallow face and thin lips looked pale and sickly. And he was dressed in all white; his button-up shirt opened revealing his fit torso, and a golden bandana around his head.

"This is Ken." Sui informed Kuwabara.

Ken acknowledged him with a nod in which Kuwabara did the same in return.

"And this is Lola and Lala." She said pointing to the identical girls of either side of Ken, who also wore white satires and golden bandanas. Neither in which seemed to pay any attention to Kuwabara, just kept chewing their bubble gums somewhat obnoxiously

"Ken here is my cousin in law twice removed but back once again." She continued. "We've known one another since we were in diapers. He is the closest thing I have to a sibling."

"Ah, why do you have to put it like that, Sui?" He said pouting as if hurt.

Sui stretched out a hand and pinched her cousin's cheek. "Aw, you're so cute, but _no_." finishing by lightly tapping them before walking towards a circle of couches centered by a marble and glass coffee table. The table was full of syringes, white powder, spoons, money, razors, rubber bands and other junk, and Kuwabara could not help but stare at them as they all took their seats around an empty corner of the cluttered room.

He recognized everything by name and there uses; he has seen people use it but never indulged on any of it; having such people in his life like Shizuru, who he had deep respect for, prevented him from ever deviating to such path. He glanced around the circle and spotted a couple making out; un-shamefully sucking face and publicly groping one another; he quickly shied away from that sight, looking at another guy leaning up against a wall aiming a needle at his arm. His arm shook and sweat was dripping from his reddened face as he tried to concentrate on getting point 'A' to point 'B'. Kuwabara couldn't help pity the guy, he looked like he needed some help. Suddenly, the scene was cut from view by white wings as Sui climbed over on his thighs, straddling his legs.

Kuwabara just sat there stunned by her actions, rendering him immobile and unable to command his body to show any signs of intelligence as she leaned in to plant a kiss on his lips. His heart sped up to the delicate touch and his arms unexpectedly slithered around the small of her back, pulling her in, wanting to feel her body up against his own. She complied, leaning her body on his chest and placing her hands on his cheeks, making the kiss even more lustful. While one of his hands remained linking her to him, the other began to make its way down her side till he went further past the limit of her skirt and he could feel the bare skin of her thigh under his palm. And he liked it, wanted it, to feel free, to feel different to what he has been feeling all weak. He liked the feel of her lips on his, the feel of his aura mixing with hers, the rhythm and energies mixing to one another till they were one.

Until, things started to change. Her body up against his was beginning to feel like it was smother him; his lust turned to utter discomfort, and he began to get an over whelming feeling of disgust towards himself. He could barely manage his own, now, uneven breathing as her hand moved under his shirt; cold finger tips roaming over his skin. He moved his hand, that laid motionless on her thigh, and gripped her arm; and he no longer reacted back to the kiss. Feeling his body tense under hers, Sui pulled away and just peered at him, questionably; his eye's still shut tight. She smiled to herself, and pulled in again, and brushed the tip of her nose on his. "Remember, when I said I'd help you run away?" She discretely said to him, and placed a light kiss there.

Clenching his jaw tight, he simply nodded back.

"Well, I meant it." To that, Kuwabara opened his eyes and looked back at her aqua ones, in curious confusion. She leaned back, reaching for something on the coffee table, and pulled herself back with a loaded syringe in hand.

"No way." He said as he made an attempt to stand up. But she deliberately pushed his shoulder back, using her own weight to keep him from standing; though it was clear that with little effort he could simply push her petite form off, but Kuwabara got the point and gave her a couple of seconds to fight her case before actually booking it.

"I said I would help."

"There's a huge difference between helping me and fucking me up." Kuwabara made yet another attempt at standing but was once again shoved back, and he looked up at her warningly.

"How could I possibly fuck you up more then you already are?"

"What do you know about me?"

"Just that you need help." Sui said blinking seemingly innocent eyes at him, pulling up the syringe to be at face level so Kuwabara could see it up close. "Any problem you could possibly have. Poof!" She said, using here free hand to signal the disappearance of something in mid air. "They're gone."

"I think I could do without." He said honestly bothered by such offering.

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

She shrugged her shoulders and placed the syringe back atop of the glass. She turned back to face him, wrapping her arms around his neck and letting her elbows sit at his shoulders. "You're different."

"Yeah, I get it. But drugs have never really been…"

"No, I mean I can sense it about you. Call me crazy, but I can sense people's auras. And yours is different." Kuwabara just looked at her bewildered. She's right; he's one of the few humans who have access to his spiritual energy and is able to wield it to become a physical weapon. He's also able to sense a change in spiritual energies, and Kuwabara now believes he has found one of his like. Sprouting out a feeling he had not felt in a while, and he swore he could hear himself falling; into what, he had no clue. "You think I'm crazy." Sui said, shying away from their eye contact.

"I think…" Kuwabara said, not finishing as he impatiently locked lips with those of Sui's, again. They both fell on their sides on the couch without breaking apart, not really caring about the wings Sui still wore. When he was able to, he climbed up on top of her, and tough he wanted to kiss her and touch her; the old feelings had not gone away. He felt disgusting, he felt utterly sickened by his own actions, especially those driven by desire and lust. He heard her moan under him, and it was like a punch to the stomach; he could not help think he was hurting her, so he stopped.

"What's wrong?" She said looking at his frowned expression staring back at her with search filled eyes.

He kept his gaze on her for a while, and though he wasn't satisfied, he leaned back down and began to delicately nuzzle at her neck again and muttered "Nothing." as he did. She giggled, to his surprise, as she felt the vibration of his voice tickling her. He like the way she laughed, and was happy it was him who made her do that. Happy – something he hadn't felt in a while. "How do you do this to me?" He said not once stopping and she moaned again; another punch to the stomach, but he kept going. He moved his hand to her breast, and she gasped; another. It felt like torture. The desire and the disgust both coming from one action; the wanting and hating. He wanted to stop but for some reason he couldn't make himself. Kuwabara's hand moved down her side and under her thigh making more sensations come to life for both of them. "Tell me to stop." He lightly demanded.

Kuwabara ended up on her lips. "No." She mumbled into him and he lightly bit her bottom lip, a little, to punish. But she moaned in pleasure at the feeling.

"Tell me…" He said a little more serious.

"I don't want you to." She gasped out.

"Please." He begged, absolutely ensnared by ecstasy.

"Why? I want this. It's okay. I know you do to." She said somewhat stupefied and Kuwabara wondered if she understood what she had just said, though some part of him wished she'd meant it. But how could she? Did she not feel what he felt? The revulsion at the pit of his stomach that had built over the desire; it couldn't just be one-sided.

He abruptly pushed away from her, sitting up on the couch next to her with a hand over his mouth as he looked at his feet and up at the crowd as he tried to get his thoughts in order. Clearly not knowing what he was doing, he picked up the syringe from the table and aimed at the dried up blood just barely flaking of his skin at the fold of his arm; for the first time feeling his racing heart pounding away at his chest.

He felt cold delicate fingers grave his wrist. "Let me help you." Sui voice said.

Kuwabara complied, and he let her take the syringe from his hand as he relaxed back onto the couch. He rubbed his head with his free hand; feeling the sensation of the short ginger hair a little longer then he had cut them under his palm, soothing him for just a moment till he felt the little pierce of the needle go in his arm, and the pressure of the liquid being pushed in his vein making him suddenly tense in nervous anticipation; waiting for the affect, dreading the repercussions that may come by such a stupid act.

But it was in already and he knew it was impossible to suck it out like venom from a snake wound. No matter the affect, he had to sit it out. In the midst of his thinking, the drug started to set in and if he wasn't sure he was sitting down, he would have sworn he was in mid air making his way to the floor, but even securely being held by the couch he was beginning to feel like he was losing his balance. The world slowly spun in circles around him like being on a kid's marry-go-round, and he didn't hate it; he liked the dizziness, the bliss, the feel good sensation exploding from every cell of his body. He knew it was suppose to feel good but this wasn't what he was expecting. He let go a small giggle as the room started to wave and it was as if he was looking into a tank of water through a glass -or was he looking out. This lasted for what same like eternity, and he felt like he finally came back to life.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The affects where clear, though he did not remember them. All he seemed to remember was that he wished not to be in another place but there. And now that he sat up on a stranger's couch, in a stranger's trashed luxurious living room, with a strange lady tidying up while ranting about something his ears refused to decipher, he wondered how he got there. As he reached for his missing shirt, that laid questionably under some strange guy still asleep on the floor under a marble coffee table. He bumped his forehead on the edge of the marble as he leaned down for it. He winced at the pain, almost losing balance, but he managed to yank the shirt from under the guy with a couple of hard tugs and pull it over his head without actually falling down. He stood and slowly stumbled uncontrollably to a wall. "Not a good idea." He heard himself say. Or was it somebody else? It really didn't sound like his voice.

"Wha…?" He said not wanting to look up at the bright light coming from the huge windows that stood taller then the light would permit him to see.

A hand suddenly grabbed him by the wrist and started to lead him somewhere. "C'mon, I don't think your in any condition to walk. You had a wild night last night. It's better if you stay here for a while before you go wherever you have planned to go."

And that's when he remembered, the mission, the demon, the hospital, the girl, the party, and the drugs. "Shit." He muttered.

"If the cops catch you like this, they'll probably arrest you, through you into jail, and you're going to need someone to bail you out. Assuming you have someone. And everything is just going to turn into a bigger mess then it should be."

"What?" He said as he was shoved down into a chair, and he looked up. Finally, his eyes seemed to have adjusted to the light - or was it just dimmer in this particular room - Kuwabara couldn't really tell.

"I asked if you want orange juice or water. Orange juice." She decided for him. "Did you want anything to eat? I have microwavable pancakes, or waffles." Her petite frame said as she looked through a refrigerator. He couldn't see her head but he could see the rest, she was wearing nothing but a pink T-shirt and underwear, but Kuwabara didn't really pay attention to her informal choice of clothing.

He let his head fall to his hand, running his fingers on his scalp, as he tried to put as much back together about last nights event as possible. "Sui?" He finally managed to say as it was the only thing in his memories he could put in words.

"Yeah?" Sui popped her head out of the fridge to look at him, with a loaf of bread being held from the corner in between her lips.

He wasn't all the surprised when she answered to that or that he actual knew her name. He knew he could probably remember more if he put his mind to it. But all that didn't matter, he had to get going – or at least that's what he thought he could remember. "Thanks."

"Thanks?" She said confused. Kuwabara stood, wobbled a little bit before falling back down on his seat. "Wow. Stop, you're weak. You need to eat something." She said rushing to his side, holding the peace of loaf up to his mouth.

"I'm not weak." He said, pushing the loaf away.

"Yes you are." She giggled, utterly amused by him. "You gave out pretty fast last night under a little dose. Besides, what does this say about you, Mr. Kazuma Kuwabara?" She said pulling up the wrist that still wore the hospital's identification tag.

He pulled it away, laughing at how obvious he was. "Yeah, well maybe I'm a just loony that just escaped from the loony bin."

"Since when did they let the qualified loony attend schools for kids?" She said walking away giggling, obviously still amused.

He laughed again, and she came back with a glass of orange juice and a bowl of cereal.

"Here, eat this. You'll feel better." She said handing him a spoon.

Kuwabara's eyes looked down at the bowl, unconsciously rubbing his belly as temptation loomed in front of him. He didn't feel hungry though he remembered from his short stay at the hospital that his hadn't had anything to eat for a while. He remembered how sad his sister was, and how Hiei threatened and how everyone else was just upset. And though he wanted to just dive in and gobble the whole thing down he simply couldn't imagine himself doing it. "No." He said, pushing the bowl away. "I'm not hungry."

Sui sat down, looking into him, but his eyes refused to meet hers. And just like he had barely won a battle, he felt proud; and he held the tiny pang in his stomach as his witness.

"Do you have anywhere to go?" She asked dismissing his weirdness.

"No."

"Home?"

"I can't go back there." He couldn't tell, but she was a bit worried about him. Sui placed a hand over his closed fist that sat atop the table, and he sighed to relax the suppressed feeling that had survived the night.

"Do you need anything?"

He paused for a moment and then looked up at her with a cheesy smile. "Well, I could use a shower." And she smiled at him, leaning forward to plant a peck on his lips before leading him up a marvelous stair case, leading down a grand hall way, and into a bedroom that seemed untouched from last night's party.

She shoved a towel in his hands and took him to the bathroom that belonged to said room. "I'll be just out here if you need anything. 'Kay?"

"Why are you helping me?" He asked in all honest curiosity.

"I don't know, I guess I just have this thing for ginger-heads in distress." And she walked off, leaving him alone. He jumped in the shower, melting away the unwanted tension that had built up in his shoulder as the warm water cascaded down his body. It felt good waking up to something totally different then his bedroom and his problems and he couldn't help wonder how long it would last before someone actually came looking for him. Either by the cops or his by friends, he expected he would be found and probably forced back to his own reality.

He stepped out of the shower, avoiding looking into the mirror as he walked back into the bed room. Fresh clothes were laid on top of the large mattress; assuming it was for him, he slipped them on.

In just a couple of minutes, Sui walked in and jumped on the mattress, crossing her legs 'Indian styled'. "So what's the plan?" She asked as she looked up at him, propping her elbows on her knees and resting her chin on her knuckles.

"The plan?" he took a step back, not really knowing what to say. He has mostly regained his balance back; maybe it was time for him to go.

"Yeah, are you going to leave or are you going to stick around for a little longer?" She said sending him a nervous smile, almost as if pleading for him to stay. He looked out the huge glass doors that lead into a balcony. "I mean, if you have nothing else to do, we could just stay here and watch a movie." He heard Sui say, and he just looked at the summer clouds as the morning sun shun right behind them. It was like finally things were turning out to his favor. He liked the feeling of being with her even if he really didn't know her. It was like she had this feeling about her that just made him automatically comfortable around her. He was just honestly glad that she wasn't running form him like he was Frankenstein himself.

"I'll stay." He finally said and for the first time in a while he was smiling an honest smile. And before he knew it they were half way through the movie, lying side by side on the huge mattress, blissfully sleeping the rest of the day away.

Feedback would be nice! Thanks for reading!


	10. Broken Heart

Author's Notes: I beat myself on the head because of this fic. True story… and yes, it did hurt. So, if you don't like it, I'm sorry. If you do, then it was worth it and marry readings.

YuYulover: I'm glad you liked that part. I was waiting forever… like forever to write that part. And I was worried that it didn't come out as great as I wanted it to because I did wait. Sometimes I tend to write future bits but usually I end up not using them. So I wait to write them… Thank you so much for reviewing and hopefully this story goes like you hope.

VampireRubi89: I thought about what you said about the angel wings and if they meant anything. And they did. Chapter 9 was originally called _City of Angels_ and they were dressed in white and gold (basically angelic) as the theme of the party because it was suppose to signify that there's where fallen angels go and yada yada ya... Hence Kuwabara ending up there, but I changed the title and all that no longer applied and I forgot about it, or it wasn't as duly noted, whatever. I still like the idea though. Yeah… I'm corny. Believe me… I know!

Chapter 10: Broken Heart

He had seen a couple of mornings and a couple of nights since the beginning of his notorious day standing side by side with _Suicide_, but it never occurred to him to keep track of them. In fact, he wasn't really aware of anything besides himself and Sui, and whatever shit was coursing its way through his blood stream that kept him so very high up in the clouds. And he wasn't planning on coming down anytime soon. He sat in a restaurant next to her, huddled up in a group along with other people. He thought he recognized the place, but really he hadn't had the focus to actually notice how close to home he was.

"Kuwabara?" a familiar voice said. The whole group turned to look to the origin. "Kuwabara, is that you?" It spoke again.

Kuwabara looked up at the short, chubby form standing at the end of the table. He stared at him, frowning as he searched the young face for any feature he could possible recognize. "Who are you?" He asked, breaking out a smile on his lips of utter amusement, feeling like a celebrity in the fading haze of his latest form of self-destruction.

"Kuwabara, don't you recognize me? It's me, Okubo." The boy said, a hurt expression was added to his already worried features as he looked at Kuwabara, trying to get his brown eyes to focus on him.

"Okubo. Okubo." Kuwabara repeated to himself, rubbing his chin with his thumb and index finger as he tried to match that name the face. "Ah, yes, Okubo." He finally remembered, snapping his finger. "What are you doing here?" He said a little too buoyant.

"I work here." Okubo said and as if it was some hilarious joke everyone besides Kuwabara started to laugh frantically. Not being able to hold himself back from joining in the addicting laughter, Kuwabara also let go of a small chuckle, and as he did he put a hand over his mouth trying to hide the smile that refused to stay hidden. Okubo looked around the crowd as they all laughed before landing again on Kuwabara. "Where have you been? Everyone has been looking for you. Even Yusuke. Kuwabara, we've all been worried."

"Aw, cry me a river." One of the guys said as he through a peace of their food at him, landing on his cheek. "Why don't you go back on do your job, busboy… and maybe I'll leave you tip." Everyone laughed again, and a couple of guys high-fived each other. Okubo just looked away as he wiped the food off his face, and looked back up with tearful eyes. As soon as Kuwabara saw the glistening tear threatening to pour over Okubo's lid, Kuwabara smiled disappeared and he abruptly got up to stand protectively in front of his forgotten friend to keep him from the other's sights. For a while Kuwabara just looked down at his shorter friend, noting for the first time the hurt in his friend's eye, emerging a wave of sympathy in his clouded conscience. He grabbed a hold of Okubo's chubby arm and led him outside into an alley way, ignoring the many harsh comments and cruel remarks coming his way from the wasted group.

Once Kuwabara stopped, satisfied at the secluded area, he turned to face his friend. Not more then a fraction of a second later, Okubo wrapped his arms around Kuwabara's waist, holding him tightly as he cried into Kuwabara's chest. "Oh, Kuwabara. I've been so worried about you. Me and the guys, we all have. We didn't know what happened to you, and we just thought the worst when Yusuke came by looking for you. He looked pretty angry. He wouldn't tell us anything, besides that you disappeared from the hospital. For a moment I thought you were dead. And I prayed, every night, I prayed for you." Okubo rambled.

Absolutely surprised by Okubo's pouring output of emotion, Kuwabara just wrapped a lose arm around Okubo's broader shoulders and awkwardly tapped his back as his attempt to comfort, not really knowing how to react. Finally pulling away, Okubo took a step back to take a better look at Kuwabara. "Wow. You look like shit. What happened?" He said, letting out a small chuckle in between the last of the tears that were squeezed out of his eyes and carelessly whipped them away with his sleeve.

Kuwabara laughed too, remembering Okubo's honesty that knew no limits, and he was grateful to see him again, even if he really didn't think of him for the last couple of days. "I've been here." Kuwabara simply answered giving him a nervous awkward smile.

"Yeah, I'm glad you are. Now I can tell Yusuke to stop looking. Everyone would be so happy to see you… and your sister, she has been really depressed lately, she hasn't even left the house for anything beside work. We would visit her but Keiko is always there with her and Keiko is just good at that sort of thing so we just figured we would let her handle that part. We stopped by once to see how she was doing… she acts like you already dead. It makes you wonder if she already had a cascade picked out for you or something… you know? It's been really hard for her, like you were her only reason for living." Kuwabara's gaze quickly fell to his feat at the news of his sister, and he clenched his jaw tight, trying to suppress the emotions that were beginning to stir at his chest. "C'mon, Kuwabara let's go to you're apartment. Your sister is dying to see you again. Literally..." He said grabbing Kuwabara by the wrist and began to lead him somewhere, but his mind focused only on the simple words that had just come out of Okubo's mouth. _His_ apartment – Okubo had said it like he actually still had a home, like it was still _his_. But if it still was, it would feel like home and not like a dark memory; because every memory from that life painfully linked to one another and though he was convinced for a while that that's how things should go, that he would go home and see everyone, again. He felt somewhere deep inside that he just wasn't ready.

"No." Kuwabara said, harshly pulling his hand back. And Okubo looked back at him, the hurt-confused expression now tinting his features, again. "No." He repeated a little lighter as he shrunk further into himself.

"Why not?" Okubo asked with a tone of confusion as he took a step closer to Kuwabara to gaze at his eyes for an answer, but Kuwabara kept them down, hiding them from him.

"You can't tell Yusuke you've seen me." Kuwabara said never looking up.

"But why?"

"Just because. No one must know you've seen me. Not even my sister." He said demandingly, hoping he sounded strong and in control of himself when in all actuality he felt helpless and desperate.

"But why? Everyone would be so happy that you're back. Everyone would be so happy that we've finally found you."

"NO, OKUBO." Kuwabara yelled, looking up at Okubo and staring him down. Okubo looked back at him with wide eyes and a tear slowly streaked down his cheek and Kuwabara immediately regretted raising his voice. "I'm sorry, Okubo… I'm sorry but… I don't want to be found and I… don't..." He raised his eyes to look up at him again, unconsciously stretching a hand out to wipe the tear away on his friend's cheek with his thumb. "I don't want to go back. Please, forget I ever existed, Okubo."

"No." Okubo replied apologetically, hardening his features though his eyes still remained teary. "No. I will not do that. Not to you, I owe you too much. Please let me repay them to you."

"You owe me nothing, Okubo." Kuwabara said, waving a hand down and turning away, dismissing the request.

"Yes I do." Okubo reached out to grave him by the arm, roughly yanking on it so he could turn him back around.

Kuwabara used the same amount of force to push the rough hand away from him and look at his friend, staring him down with an intimidating frown. "No… you don't." Kuwabara growled and immediately turned away as he felt an unexpected tear escape him. "It's better this way." He whispered just loud enough for Okubo to hear him, and he began to walk away, never looking back at the friend he was leaving behind.

"Kuwabara!" Okubo called out for him, but Kuwabara couldn't look back at him or he won't be able to actually just simply walk away like he intended to. "Kuwabara!" He cried out again, and it was like he could feel his heart cramp. He lifted up a hand to his chest, trying to smooth the ache away. "Kuwabara." His voice was faint now as the distance between them grew, and though he really wanted to go back, he made a decision the day he left the hospital to leave and never go back. And that's what he was doing; he had a plan with no room for tears.

He let himself fall against a wall after he turned the corner that lead to a disserted street, letting go of a heavy sigh and taking a couple of breaths to relax the emotions that were screaming to be released.

"You're not going all mushy on me now?" Somebody said as they leaned back on the wall next to Kuwabara, and Kuwabara looked up to see Ken's smirking face staring at him through his expensive shades. Kuwabara stood taller up against the wall, turning to look at the empty street, paying no attention to Ken. "What did that crybaby want anyways?" He asked, and though Kuwabara felt like punching that smirk of his face at the remark he made of his friend, he decided not to and just kept looking ahead, pretending that he had not heard him speak.

"Aw, c'mon man. Don't tell me that I just hurt your wittle feewings." He said in absolute mockery.

"What the fuck do you want?" Kuwabara spat, abruptly turned to face Ken, enraged at the guys nerve.

"Relax, man." He said cowering away from Kuwabara's intimidating demeanor. Satisfied, Kuwabara backed off, turning away from Ken. "Looks like you could use one of these."

Kuwabara gave Ken a glance, immediately noticing the loaded syringe that Ken was holding out towards him. He hesitated a little before approaching and took a moment to look at Ken's content face as he yanked the syringe from Ken's hand and he put it between his teeth as he pulled the belt from his belt hoops out. He leaned up against the wall to steady himself so he wouldn't loose balance for when the affect kicked in and to have something to hold up his pants that over the day had grown a couple of sizes to big for him. He turned over his arm, exposing the large dark bruise that resided at the fold, immediately earning himself a loud hiss from Ken who just stood besides him, watching his every move.

"You should look for a new place to shoot that thing." Ken said quiet calmly.

"Shut up." Kuwabara spat past the syringe, annoyed by Ken's still audible presence. Trying his best to just ignore him, he wrapped the belt around his upper arm, making sure to cut as much of the blood circulation as possible before pointing the needle at the open wound at the center of the bruise.

"You're arm is gonna rote right off if you keep doing that."

"Shut up."

"I'm telling you…"

"Just leave." Kuwabara said, bringing his arms down to his sides as he looked up at Ken, clearly not wanting to hear any more of his opinions as if anybody asked for them. "Just shut up and leave."

Ken brought his glasses down the bridge of his nose, briefly peeking over them at Kuwabara, before giving him a snort and walking away.

As soon as he saw him turn the corner, Kuwabara pulled his arm back up, pointing the needle once again at his target. He considered for a moment what Ken had said as he looked at the dark black-purple bruise at his arm, swallowing hard as he brought the needle closer to the open sore at the center of it. Maybe, Ken was right. He thought. Maybe he should look for another place to dose himself. That particular spot did seem overused, almost sickening to look at.

Suddenly, the ground under him turned into solid ice. He slowly glanced up as the cold air that seemed unusually out of place, especially during such a hot summer's day, chilled his skin and he released a sigh as the temperature around him kept dropping. He could visibly see a hooded figure standing across of him through his own vaporized breath and he squinted to get a better look as it approached.

The hooded figure stopped a couple of feet before Kuwabara and he could see a pair of soft, surprised, red eyes staring back at him past the material covering it's face. Slowly, it raised its hand and pulled down its hood letting it hang around its shoulders, revealing amazingly light aqua hair fit for an Ice Queen. Kuwabara gasped as her features where revealed, and his jaw practically dropped to the floor along with his heart.

"So glad to see you well." The soft voice that belong to no one other then Yukina spoke, and Kuwabara looked at her speechless, still. "You do remember who I am, don't you?" She asked noting Kuwabara's stiff, unresponsive appearance.

"Yukina." He whispered out, still surprised by her presence and asked without thinking. "What are you doing here?" making Yukina turn away from him and Kuwabara could just punch himself on the face as he noticed his mistake after it had slipped his tongue. It wasn't even what he had meant to say in the first place.

"I just wanted to know if you were alright." She took a couple of steps away before speaking again. "It seems you have helped yourself." And she glanced over her shoulder, unknowingly sending him a sad look before looking away again, making him feel guilty at the sight.

Kuwabara just stood silent even after she had finished speaking, having no words in mind to tell her, ashamed at how he probably appeared to her.

"Does it hurt?" She spoke again, never turning back to look at him, in which he felt absolutely grateful for, but he had no clue of what she was referring to, so he remained silent not wanting to use the wrong words, again. "That thing on your arm looks painful." She elaborated as if she had detected his lose of knowledge at their current topic.

Finally understanding, he automatically hid the arm that still had the belt tightly strapped around it, behind him; though he had no need since she wasn't looking at him anyways. He couldn't help but hang his head down low regretting for the first time ever using all the garbage he had shot up his arm, and he felt even more ashamed and embarrassed than before. He somehow knew it was all going to come back and bite him on the ass, but he never pictured it would be like this or through her. He had no will power to look up at her; he just tightly closed his fist and pressed himself against the brick wall, wanting to disappear into it. Knowing that he could never erase this from her memory, and he just knew that now he was too much of a stupid idiot to ever get a chance to be with her; he had fucked this up just like everything else in his life.

"I'll just go." Yukina softly spoke again.

"No." Kuwabara yelled after her. He had no clue what he was going to say, but he had to think of something. "I'll stop. I'll change. I'll go anywhere you tell me to, wherever. I'll do anything. Just don't leave." He desperately said, having no real motive to even proceed on his hopeless begging, but he was damned if he was just going to let this go.

And as if a spark of hope erupted in her heart, Yukina turn back to Kuwabara smiling brightly. "Really?" She squealed excitedly.

"Yes." Kuwabara responded back with as much as the same excitement she had shown, feeling like he had finally said something right. He approached her till they were no more then a couple of inches apart, and grabbed a hold of her small fists, cradling them in between of his own as he pressed them to his chest. "I will. I'll do anything, anything at all for you."

"Kazuma, I'm so glad to hear you say that, you worry me so much. I only want you to be safe. I want to see you happy." She confessed.

"Me too... I mean want to see you happy. We can go anywhere, we can go…"

"… back to our friends." She finished for him excitedly.

"Yes, if you want, and we could start…"

"… over and it would be just like…"

"… old times and we'll just put all of this…"

"… behind us."

Kuwabara looked into her eyes and he could feel the butterflies fluttering around in his stomach just like the first time he saw her. He just knew she was the one. No wonder he won the battle against Reishyo in the Dark Tournament. With Yukina by his side, he can conquer anything – he could over come anything. "Just let… just let me… be with you." He nervously said, hopefully looking into her red eyes, and slowly Yukina's smile faded away.

She narrowed her eyes apologetically, turning away from him. "No, Kuwabara. I have been warned."

"Warned?" He asked confused and a little concerned at her sudden change of mood. The whole street around he was turning into ice and he could feel the temperature fall even further. He looked at her, at her troubled expression and he could feel her cold hand trembling.

She pulled her tiny fist from his hands, turning away. "It's just that… you're human… and… and this just could never be…"

"What?" Kuwabara was shocked. The air was just sucked out of him. What happened? What did he say to turn things around like that? He quickly went through the last moments in his mind looking for his stupid mistake, but it simply wasn't enough time. Yukina spoke again before he found what he was so desperately searching for.

"I have to go." She whispered, and feeling that she said too much she began to walk away.

"Yukina, I will never hurt you. I'm not like those filthy bastards that had you locked up. I won't exploit you, I would never dare… just please… I promise… please don't go." Kuwabara could barely speak past the knot that had formed at his throat since her last words, but he refused to stay quiet. No matter how much Yukina hurts him, he could never be angry with her; not her, nor will he ever give-up. And he knows she will never intentionally hurt him. It's not like her to leave without an explanation, though he knew he did not deserve one from her.

"Yes you will, Kuwabara. That's just it, intentionally or unintentionally, you eventually will hurt me, there's no avoiding it as long as I'm with you. That's why we could never be." And at those words, his heart broke, shattering into his lungs. His breathing became quick and shallow; things were moving way to quick for him to keep up with. It was like watching a ball of yarn unravel. And the more he tried to reel it in, the further it got from him. Everything was becoming undone.

"Yukina." He barely yelled out for her, but she continued walking. "Yukina, I'll do anything. Just please don't go." His voice was full of anguish, and he could not keep himself upright as his lung threatened to collapse and he doubled over, falling harshly onto his knees. He felt dizzy for unknowingly permitting no air into his lungs, but his chest refused to expand and let anything in. His chest just hurt so much, and he clenched onto his shirt, deliberately trying to pry his chest open, digging his nails into his skin right past the cloth that separated the two. And finally, as his lungs gave up, he took in a great amount of air into them. "YUKINAAAAAA!" He scram out as loud as he could again, slamming his fist as hard as possible into the pavement. And suddenly, without even noting or caring, dust and shards of ice flew at all sides from under him. She had done it; she had hurt him to the brink of death and then had just left him there to die. Worse then that fucking demon from the cave had done; worse then anybody had done; worse then anybody could do. She had left him for something he had no control over.


	11. Broken Body

Author's Note: Just a little bit of warnings I have to post up… somewhat-kinda violent and very, very verbally colorful. Just for this chapter really. Hope I don't scare anyone with all the color.

A million thanks to everyone who reviewed, that seriously means a lot to me. I would give everyone cookies or something but I just might gobble them all down if I even get near them.

Just 2 Dream Of You… very ironic that you would say that cuz just around the time you sent that I got haled on. So, I had to run home while ice was falling on my head. Do you have some sort of magical powers that I should be aware of? Cuz that was… AWESOME!

I would say more but I'm kinda being rushed by my sis. A nut that one is. Talking about the older one not the twin one.

Chapter 11: Broken Body

It took the dust to settle all around him and for the sky to turn dark and a hobo to come to his side poking him a couple of time's with the point of his foot, saying something along the lines of 'Hello.' Or 'Are you dead?' - For Kuwabara to get the courage to stand back on his feet, startling the hobo to the ground. He might have given him a heart attack, maybe he just fainted, or maybe he disappeared into the dark running as fast as its skinny legs would let him, but he really didn't care or even notice.

He just stood up, and walked forward, never looking back; walked till he's legs hurt, walked till his stomach ached, walked till his shoulders burned, walked till his shirt was soaked, walked without feeling; just thinking. He didn't know where he was going, just let his legs make the choice; hoping they would show him to the end of the world, but he didn't know what to do when he gets there. Maybe peek over the edge and look into the vast universe, compare it to his life and see how unimportant he really is and how miniature his problems really are; or join the beauty to escape this world in general into the nothingness that his life has come to be to this point.

But even if he was thinking of his own end, he couldn't get Yukina out of his head. He just saw the image of her ice cold hands slipping out of his colossal ones over and over again in his head like a film left on replay. Everything about his encounter with her played in his head; her big ruby red eyes wide with surprise and concern, her words, her sudden arrival and departure. But nothing played as much as when he had let her hands slip from his, how he had let her slip away.

Without knowing, he had fallen into a trance for who know how long before suddenly being snapped out by two figures standing just some yards ahead of him. He could sense something about them; something that bother him. But he kept approaching them, fighting past that over whelming feeling that maybe he shouldn't by just passing it off as his paranoia kicking in again. The distance closed in as he walked in a straight line towards the two almost familiar strangers, who unfortunately stood in his path. As he neared, he could sense them staring at him and without thinking twice he turned to cross the street to avoid any unwanted confrontation with them, just in case his mere proximity to them was enough to stir a problem.

"Hey, kid, isn't past your curfew?" One yelled after him, and he knew whether he answered or not, just by them acknowledging him with that question, his troubles had begun.

"I'm heading home." He simply answered, not turning to show his face as he kept walking.

"No steeling old ladies shops, tonight?" The other spoke and Kuwabara faintly recognized the voices. These guys knew who he was, but he could not remember for the life of him from where.

"I don't know who you think I am, but I'm not him." Kuwabara said, dismissing their statement as just a random accusation of a felony act any suspicious person at this time was thought to commit. Then it dawned on him, of course. How could he forget? The detectives that entered the shop that night that senile shop owner had beaten him with a broom. He was in deeper shit then he had previously thought.

"Turn around, kid." One ordered.

Kuwabara halted at their demand, keeping his back facing them, cursing himself for taking this path. "Just my damn luck." He said under his breath. He could not let them see him, much less arrest him. Especially, if he looked as wasted as his friend's expression at seeing had shown, with a loaded syringe still tucked away at his back pocket, and the evidence that he was obviously using super-glued to his arm. "Listen, sir, I haven't done anything wrong. Unless you're planning on arresting me, I'm just going to go home."

"Home? You haven't been there in practically two weeks, kid - but don't worry, we'll make sure you'll get there safe and sound." He heard one say as two pair of feet cautiously neared.

That was his 'Q' to leave. His feet darted quickly of the ground, one after another, and kept it going.

"Hey, kid, come back here. We're not gonna bite." He heard them call after him along with their footsteps starting their chase close behind. But he just kept running, turning corners, running into the shadows, cutting the small amount of traffic that seemed to be awake at such hours of the morning. He heard one in particular honk and curse at the cops whose pursuit after him was apparently pretty determined. They kept this going form a while, but no matter what Kuwabara tried, he could not shake them off and no matter how much faster he wanted to go, he could not help feel like he was running in mid air; as if his feet were never hitting the ground as he took one step after another, like some giant had grabbed hold of him by the shirt and left him handing as he attempted to run.

Suddenly, a pang of nausea struck in his stomach and he practically double over, but he never stopped his feet from moving, though he did seem to slow down. His eye sight seemed to shade around the edges and his brain began to feel cold, as if his blood had just drained down. His legs were starting to feel rubbery, and he knew he had to find somewhere to hide soon.

As soon as he turned a corner of a street, he ran as fast as he could into the nearest alley, falling into the wall just behind the shadows. A couple of second later, he saw the detectives run past him, just inches away. And when the footsteps where far enough, he let the breath he kept locked away in his lungs go, taking in as much air as he could, crouching down feeling like his shaking legs where going to give under him. He could feel for the first time in almost a month his body crying out in hunger, aching his every muscle like no hunger he has ever felt before. His body wanted to gag, and his chest started to heave but there was nothing in his stomach he could possible puke. And just as he thought nothing was going to come out, bile climbed its way up his throat and he felt likes his intestine where going to come out with it. He coughed and groaned as it painfully made its way out.

Finally, it was over and he was on all fours with tears dripping from his tightly shut eyes into the hard cement under him. He still felt his muscles aching in hunger, but at least he was resting and not running like a fucking moron. But even if his muscles refused, he had to get out of there and find somewhere to stay the night. Ken's place was the closest, and no matter how much he hated him, he really wasn't in a situation in which he had any other option.

He wiped the bile that was left on his lips with his arm, and looked up to stare at the empty street next to him, blinking the tears away - and sniffling up the snot that had accumulated in his nose - as he did. Though, he could barely find the energy to move, he inched closer to the brick wall behind him, using it to pull himself back on his feet. When he finally felt he had gained some of his balance back, he took a step closer to the edge of the brick wall, peeking past it, scanning the coast. It was empty and he sighed in relief.

It took him a while to find the courage to move because though they were nowhere in sight that didn't mean that he wasn't on theirs. But he couldn't stay. Just as he was about to take a step out of the shadows, he felt an arm rap around his waist and another around his neck. His body was pressed against the one standing behind him, and his aching limbs wiggled and flew at every direction as he tried to hit whoever had gotten a hold of him. He felt himself being dragged further into the alley, and the arm around his neck tightened, which worked only to alarm him enough into a more energetic fit.

His faceless attacker threw him unexpectedly to the ground and Kuwabara air was forced out as he landed on his stomach with a dull thud, and just as he was about to pick himself up his chest was suddenly jammed back down to the ground by a firm weigh that had taken its position at the center of his back.

"Yeah, I got him." He heard the recognizable voice say above him, and all his body seemed to want to do was gasp for air like a goldfish out of water, and the foot holding him down wasn't helping.

The other set of feet approached, and Kuwabara was feeling like had just stepped into a trap, and how he hated traps.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO." He began to yell as once again a tantrum erupted in him. He started to hit his fists into the pavement and wiggled his hips side to side, making an attempt to make the foot at his back lose balance, all the while yelling at the top of his lungs. "GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME, YOU FUCKING PIG! DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH ME! DON'T YOU TOUCH ME, YOU BASTARD! CUNT SUCKER! MOTHER FUCKER! SON OF A BITCH! I'LL MAKE YOU PAY, YOU FUCKING PEA PECKER! GET OFF, YOU SHIT LICKING ASSHOLE! GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME OR I'LL MAKE SURE THAT YOU NEVER TOUCH ANYBODY EVER AGAIN! GET OFF…" suddenly his speech was cut short as a foot rammed into his side, and the pain that came along with it cut his breath short.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, we've heard it all before. He's got a set of lungs on him, this one." One said as he pulled a lighter and a cigarette from his pocket and lit it.

"Yeah, maybe he should join the local orchestra." The other replied as his partner puffed on his cigarette, and they both laughed at the stupid corny joke. "Atsushi, you really need to cut that shit. My mother died of lung cancer you know." One told the other, suddenly ceasing his laughter as he was smothered by the smoke.

"Not this, again." The other said to himself already annoyed at his friend. "Well, maybe if you hadn't of stopped you wouldn't have got that gut and you would still have some hair." He finished as he unwilling chuckled and his partner growled at him inwardly.

"Why do you always have to do this?"

"What?"

"Say that kind of shit in front of people."

"Who?" he said looking around to see if anyone was around and just as he expected he spotted not one living soul. "Who?"

The other man with a belly looked back at the other with disapproval and then glanced down at Kuwabara who was still trying to get out from under, grunting as he did. "Oh." He said mildly amused. "Yeah but he doesn't count."

"Fuck you." Kuwabara said at that, not really thinking things through.

"Listen, we don't want to hurt you, kid. We just need your cooperation, that's all." He finally said to Kuwabara, acknowledging him once again.

"Bullshit." Kuwabara managed to say in between clenched teeth, earning himself another kick on the side and Kuwabara groaned at the pain.

"I'm asking nicely. Don't make me beg." The detective said crouching down next to Kuwabara.

"For what…? So you can… take me to… a juvenile… delinquent home, so… you can tame… and fix… me, and… drop me off… at some stranger's… house… when you think… I'm… okay to live… with normal society." He said in between raspy breaths.

"Basically, yes." The cop answered un-amused.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO." He yelled again, setting of another tantrum, but this time it was much weaker, and Kuwabara looked more like a kid that was just told to take his medicine. But no matter he kept trying to push himself up, unsuccessfully, the foot still weighing him down. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. NOOOOOOOOOOOO…" He continued yelling one push after the other.

Having lost their patience for him, the two looked at each other, and as if in an unspoken agreement they both took a step away from Kuwabara's already battered body and each started to un-rhythmically kick their feet at whatever part it came to contact with Kuwabara, as long as it was below the head. Kuwabara curled into himself, instinctively blocking the kicks with his arms, but he just couldn't block all of them.

After a while, they both stopped in unison. Kuwabara could feel his whole body shake, and he was hurting to the bones. Both men then graved him each by the arms and with little effort pulled him up to his feet, not wasting any time as they once again had him pinned, this time into the wall.

"Kid, we are only trying to help. Now, there's two of use, obviously bigger and stronger. Be smart about this and cooperate… would you, please?"

"I've taken demons ten times your size… I'm not fucking scared of you." Kuwabara hissed out as he breathed deeply for air.

"Demons?" One repeated in humor as they glanced at one another. "Demons? Is that what you think we are? Kid, we can be your fuckin' guardian angels if you just let us." He brought down the volume of his tone into an honest one, as if speaking the holy truth.

"You don't give a fuck about me." Kuwabara harshly accused. And it was Kuwabara's turn to laugh but his laughter wasn't that of amusement but disbelieving, irony. "Imagine that." He said hysterically.

Releasing his hold on Kuwabara's arm, one threw a punch at him, immediately quieting Kuwabara's pathetic coughing that could have been just laughter if it wasn't for the beating he had received just a while before.

His jaw stung from the sudden blow to the face but temporarily ignoring it he grasped the moment and rammed his elbow of his freed arm into the detective, who was a big enough idiot to release one of his more valued weapons, on the jaw and kicked one of his dangling feet into the other's shin; pushing both aside as he once again dashed into another lap around the town.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

He didn't know how far he had gotten, or how fast he was going, or if he was still being chased. He just knew that if he looked back to see, he would only slow himself down. So he kept moving, his eyes forward, and taking in deep wheezing breaths as his running practically had slowed down into a pitiful jog. Every breath he took hurt; his muscles were failing him and they protested, demanding the nourishment that they were so painfully being deprived of.

Not being able to take it anymore, he fell to the ground, his knees falling harshly into the cement, and he hissed at the pain that vibrated up his nervous system. He hugged his own waist as the hunger took control over of his body. He felt like swinging his arms into everything he could possible hit, but his muscles cramped, refusing to be stretched out preventing him from shaking off the feeling.

Suddenly, he felt a hand grab him from the back of his shirt and pull him to yet another alley way. But Kuwabara just simply let it happen; he had had enough of the running, for now, as he had no energy to fight back. He could barely manage to breathe at the current moment; much less throw another unceremonious fit.

Strong arms pulled him close, and a firm hand was pressed into his lips, muffling the dry wheezing noise that was escaping through his gapped mouth, forcing him to breathe through his nose. Then a figure ran past them from behind, stopping as another appeared from the direction Kuwabara had just come from. They both looked at both sides of the lit street.

"Where… that kid go?" One asked the other, calmly panting for air.

"I don't know. I was pretty sure we'd had him cornered. That slick bastard." The other said, whipping sweat away from his forehead with his sleeve. "I told you to stop smoking." He accused.

"Well, maybe you should lose that gut." The other hissed back in between his own panting.

"Whatever. C'mon, let's go."

They both took off, and as if a suspenseful show on TV was just switched off, Kuwabara snapped back to reality, quickly assessing the situation around him, and he began to pull at the arms that were firmly around him; knowing very well that they didn't belong to either of the cops that he had just seen very clearly standing before him.

"Shh… shh…" The person behind him hushed somewhat soothingly. "It's just me." The deep voice that belong to no one other than a familiar fire-demon said, releasing Kuwabara and moving over to the edge of the alley, staying within the proximity of the shadows.

"Hiei?" Kuwabara asked, as he narrowed his eyes to make him out from the darkness he always seemed to blend in so well with. He couldn't see him, but Kuwabara was sure it was him. Who else would it be?

Kuwabara slowly began to pick himself of the floor, placing a hand on a wall and the other behind him on a plastic box, pulling himself up and sitting on it, groaning as he did. Before he knew it, hands where roaming around his body and Kuwabara made an attempt to push them away but his where pushed back.

"Hiei, don't." Kuwabara whined, barely sounding anywhere close to being serious, but he was too exhausted to actually make an attempt.

Hiei lifted up his shirt only enough to reveal Kuwabara's bruising back and ribs with not much of a protest from Kuwabara. He poked a couple of places with the tip of his fingers, starting from Kuwabara's shoulder blades and climbing his way down the ribs till he pressed one in particular causing Kuwabara to flinch dramatically away from the touch and hissed as he hugged his sides. "Hn…" was all that came out of Hiei after seeing Kuwabara's reaction.

"What?" Kuwabara said looking at Hiei as if expecting him to say he only had 24 hours to live. "Is it broken?"

"No." Hiei simply said with his neutral calm voice. "It's just badly bruised."

At hearing that, Kuwabara let himself relax again, releasing a heavy sigh, as he did. Never noticing the look Hiei was wearing; something in between anger or deep contemplation.

"Do you want me to kill them?" Hiei suddenly asked, and Kuwabara quickly snapped his head to look at Hiei, shocked at what he had just heard.

Looking at Hiei's emotionless expression, Kuwabara let go of a painful chuckle, immediately stopping at seeing no similar reaction coming from Hiei. He was actually being serious. "No. I don't want you to kill them."

"They have to pay for what they did."

"No, they don't. Or at least not like that." Kuwabara said a little shaken up and lost.

"… a hand each then, to teach them not to mess with you, again." Hiei said, pulling his katana from its sheath.

"When did you start caring so much about my honor?" Kuwabara asked as one side of his mouth stretched out into a half smile, pretending to be amused when in all actuality he was a little disturbed and confused by a lot more things then what they were discussing.

"I'm going to assume that was a _yes_."

"No, that wasn't a _yes_."

Hiei growled at that. "You human and your pathetic show of morality - had they showed you the same, I might have understood why you don't put them in their place." He hissed sharply as he stared down at Kuwabara, who was wide-eyed with shock.

Maybe it was the look Hiei was expressing, maybe it was the heartwarming feeling Kuwabara had just felt coming from the little fire demon, maybe those detectives hit him one too many times, but Kuwabara was sure that Hiei had just shown worry, if not like, for Kuwabara. "Thanks, Hiei." Kuwabara quietly said, looking down at his feet, and a chill ran through his body as the cool morning air clung to his skin.

"For what?"

"For caring." And only if Kuwabara had been looking, he would have seen the look of contentment that had appeared at the corner of Hiei's lips.

"Those men have been following you for a while." Hiei bluntly stated, instinctively hiding his own feelings.

"They have?" Kuwabara asked looking back up at Hiei, frowning as he did, he couldn't help wonder how Hiei had known that. Had Hiei been fallowing him too? Had he known where he'd been the whole entire time? If he had, had he seen what he was doing as well?

"Yes, and you've been too fucked up to notice." Hiei said unknowingly answering Kuwabara's last question.

"What?" Kuwabara quickly said a little shocked, but then dropped his pretence as Hiei's eyes dropped to his arm. "Oh." He almost looked like a kid that was just caught stealing from the cookie jar. "What now? Are you going to drag me back?"

Hiei thought about it for a moment before sternly answering _no_. Kuwabara looked up at him, once again shocked, not really sure if he had heard right.

"You're not?" he asked confused.

"If I intended to, I would have done it by now."

Kuwabara didn't doubt that he would have. "What then? What now?"

"Do you have anywhere to go, for now? We need to find a place where we can mend you back to health and rest."

"It's not that bad." Kuwabara said relaxing his limbs, trying to make it look less painful then it actually was, but Hiei sent him a look that said he really wasn't buying it. "Yeah, I know a friend." He quickly said as he felt another hunger strike in his muscles and Kuwabara only hoped he wouldn't start puking again as he tightly held his own waist.

Thanks again to everyone who read up to hear and especially the ones who reviewed. Nothing shows that you care like a review… haha… okay going to make myself stop typing now cuz if I go on like this I just might end up talking about my day or for that matter my week… or LIFE. And believe me, we do not want to end up there.


	12. Strangers

Author's Notes: This is gonna be somewhat of a long chapter. Not that long really, just about 6,000 words, and it might get a little slow. This one in particular is going to shed a little more light on Sui (Don't kill me) this is still mostly about Kuwabara, Hiei, and Yusuke and yes I will try to add a little more of Kurama (Because even if Hobbit doesn't believe me, I at least like or try to like most character including Elder Toguro and Karasu no matter how much they freak me out. Oh and Puu, that little thing gets in my nerves.) But I promise that the chapter after the next I will bring at least one more of the original characters back.

This might get a little more OOC. Oops! To tell the truth, I'm nervous about this chapter and the next (like I'm ever not nervous). I have the next typed out already, all I have to do now is edit it and get the balls to post it up. Haha… But seriously, I'll try to have it up by the end of this month. I have a full time job as a waitress that when bad shit comes up, like a customer shoving food at one of the other waitress' face demanding them to taste it and yelling all about the restaurant telling people to beware, I have to pretend I'm the manager because the owner doesn't speak English and have to deal with people rubbing in my face that I'm young and couldn't possibly be a manager and would like to speak to the real manager. Fuck… my job wares me out. I don't get paid half as much as I should for dealing with all the shit I deal with. What I was trying to say is that my job takes a lot of my time and energy.

Anime's-mistress – I'm sorry this is taking forever. I didn't think it was going to take me more than 10 posts to get this over with when I first started but apparently it has. Hopefully I haven't left you guys too much in the shadows and you're all picking up on a couple of things here and there.

Please everyone take in account that I'm twisted in the head. By the end of this fanfic, if you catch yourself saying 'OMG WTF is wrong with this girl' don't say I didn't warn you. That is, if ya'll actually make it that far… Hopefully you do. I know where you sleep… whua ha ha… _* I kid, I kid, I joke with you…

Oh and I finally changed my screen name… I have decided on GemGem46, finally. Still me though!

I will shut up now… sorry for the chatter. Now you may read… :)

Chapter 12: Strangers

Sui sat at her living room reading a women's magazine, every once in a while she would look up the big grandfather clock that ticked loudly in the silence that was the large room. She stood up, and moved to peek out the window. She could see some of her neighbors, most seemed to have gathered in a large barbecue the blond with the big boobs two properties down was hosting. She anxiously paced back and forth for a while before letting herself fall on the white fluffy couch, again.

Kuwabara had been missing for more than twenty-four hours, and she had noticed a shadow lingering close behind wherever they went before that. She almost wondered if he had been found, and if he had, he was probably locked up in a room never to be released again - or at least till he came of age, and that still might be an exaggeration, but still. And though she barely knew him, over the days they had spent together she has grown addicted to his presence, which she lacked right now.

"Don't chew on your nails, darling."

Without thinking, she rolled her eyes at the voice that belong to her famous step father, slapping her hand on her laps as she continued staring at the pages of the magazine.

Her father scanned her slumped position on the expensive couch. "Is that what you kids now-a-days consider fashion?" He barked at her, but she simply kept her eyes on the magazine, pretending to read and to not listen. "No parties, no boys, no getting in trouble or you'll force me to send you to all girls' boarding school overseas."

"Which one?" She hissed back, making sure not to look up, bothered by his unrealistic threat. "No one will accept me just by looking at my résumé."

"Right," he said not really paying attention as he looked at his reflection in one of the many framed mirrors that hung on the living room walls. "Well I'll be gone for a couple of days, I expect you to be on your best behavior."

"Yes, father." Sui said. Her father brushed at his suit with his fingers and glanced at himself one more time before leaving. She heard as the door slammed shut signaling his departure and wasted no time as she quickly stood up to the peek anxiously out the window again, watching her father's car leave the drive way and out of sight. _Where are you?_ She asked no one but the only person that had been in her thoughts since the last time she had seen him, never noticing her cousin step into the living space.

"Who are you talking to?" He asked, and she practically jumped out of her slippers at the sound of his voice.

"Don't scare me like that."

"Sorry." He said looking around the room. "You alone?"

"Yeah, I have the house to myself for the week, again. It's just me and the new maid."

"PARTY!" He shouted out excitedly, lifting his hands up in air, only sticking out his pinky and index finger on each.

"No parties." She said waiving her index finger at him, somewhat mocking her step father.

"Aw, c'mon, It'll be fun."

"My dad said no, or he'll send me overseas."

"He always says that, that's never stopped you."

"Yeah, I know."

"So?"

"So what?"

"Party?"

"No."

"Party pooper." Ken grouchily said crossing his arms over his chest, pouting out his bottom lip and childishly sliding down the couch.

She didn't say anything back, just looked out the window at nothing in particular.

"Is this about Kuwabara?" Ken asked crossing his arms and leaning back on the couch. "That guy probably OD'd already. You should have seen his arm. It was rotten to the core. Anyways, he's no good. That guy is fuck-ugly and a moron. He's just like every other idiot. You could do much better than that."

"I don't want to, I want him." She admitted to herself, just barely above a whisper, somewhat surprising herself as it unwillingly came out in the open.

"This guy's got your panties in a knot. C'mon, it's your first weekend without him in a while, have a little fun." Ken continued, practically talking to himself. He rolled his eyes and sighed as he saw no reaction coming from Sui. "Is your name _Suicide_ or not? Live up to it."

"If I remember correctly, cousin, it was you who baptized me with that name. I never understood why." She said, closing the drapes and walking to an empty couch and letting herself fall on it.

"Oh, Sui… Sui… _Suicide._" He sung to her as he walked over to the liquor cabinet, pulling out two glasses, and pouring in a deep-amber liquid into them. "My little pot of gold, my little shining star, my little goddess… When are you ever going to get over yourself? He went over and took a seat next to her, handing her one of the glasses. "I remember when you where the life of the party, the center of attention where ever you went. People wanted to know what you were doing on the weekends and every day in between. People wanted to know what the daughter of the sexiest man alive wore, liked, listen to, everything. People wanted to know her name…" He stopped to look at her, and she looked back at him un-amused "… and a pathetic little name like yours…"

"My grandmother's name..." She informed him downing the amber liquid.

"…Just wasn't as big as a name as you where meant to be, my beauty."

"Geeh, thanks. I feel so much better, now." She said sarcastically and stood again putting the glass back into the cabinet. "Then… then, I had nothing going for me." She said releasing a small sigh afterwards that did not go unnoticed.

"What do you mean _nothing_?" He said lightly laughed as if she had just told him something ludicrous.

"I didn't know who I was."

"Want me to remind you..." Ken said sardonically; annoyed at what she was saying, quickly losing his patients for her as he rolled his eye at her and he let his head fall back so he could stare at the ceiling, acting un-amused and bored.

"But, now… now I know what I want to be." She unintentionally interrupted him.

Ken snapped back, looking at her stunned. "And, what is that, a stay at home mom with ten million kids." He couldn't help but sound bitter. Just saying it made him feel repulsive and furious.

"Happy, Ken, I want to be happy." She quietly said to him, feeling a little foolish for willingly saying such a cliché.

"You've got your fame, your youth, and your diamonds. Isn't that enough?" he snarled.

"No."

"No?" He could feel his words burying their way into her, like they always did, and she minimized in size and just as they were she was a small child and he was the devil's voice speaking into her ear.

"I've never felt this happy before. I never felt this before."

"And what is _this_?"

Sui thought long and hard of the question, racking her brain for something to satisfy Ken so he would back off, even if it let things unsettled. She looked for something that would be snobby and selfish because she has learned that that was what Ken always loved to hear. But somehow this time she couldn't and instead the _her_ within spoke a few crimson words of her soul. "Not alone, like I belong somewhere, and nothing else matters." She calmly said contrasting the heavy, rapid thumping of her heart.

"You have friends, you belong with the crowd of followers that would swim in shit for you…"

"No I have your friends. They know nothing about me." She scrammed at him, having lost some of her temper.

"He doesn't love you." Ken spat at her, knowing full well what – or who - she was talking about.

Sui wanted to say something back, but at last minute her words were chocked in her throat, and she simply turned away from Ken, the words stung more then she could have ever guessed possible. "What are you talking about?" She asked trying to sound unaffected.

"Nothing, it's best if you just forget him. It's probably just thoes drugs getting to your head and making you feel all…"

"No, I want to know what you meant." She said turning back to him. He was holding back something and she knew it.

"Nothing… I just…"

"Tell me." She demanded.

"Well, if you really want to know." He said looking up at her, somewhat apologetically which she knew was just one of his many masks because he has never apologized for anything and meant it for as long as she has know him. "Yesterday, when you told me to go check up on Kuwabara..."

"Yeah." She said impatiently.

"Well, he though I wasn't looking… A girl was there."

"So, they could have just been friends." She said shrugging her shoulders.

"This wasn't ordinary friendship."

Sui looked away, processing the information in her head.

"By the looks of things, she meant a lot to him. The way he held her hand, and she looked at him. Love, maybe." He suggested.

Her heart boiled over at those words.

"Sui." A sudden and unexpected sore voice spoke from the front door.

"Kuwabara!" Sui quickly exclaimed as she turned to face the origin and noticed Kuwabara's beat up form standing at the entrance.

"Speak of the devil." Ken rolled his eyes and took a sip from his glass sliding deeper into the couch.

"Kuwabara, what happened?" She asked as she walked over to him, taking one of his arms and placing it over her shoulders as she lead him up to her bedroom; and for the first time noticing the small person standing next to him, but she said nothing to regard him as did he.

Once there, she and the little being let Kuwabara fall on the mattress, and Kuwabara groaned. Taking a seat next to him, Sui examined his bruises and scrapes that were most visible. "Ken, get me the first aid kit and some warm water and a towel." She quickly commanded. At seeing Ken's figure not budge, she looked up at him and he gave her a look as if reminding her of their previous conversations, feeling he had delivered his point he took off without question to fetch the items. Brushing the look he had giving him away, she once again laid her attention on Kuwabara's battered body.

"What happened, Kuwabara?" She asked as she took a hold of his face, and she made an attempt to look him in the eyes, but he had them tightly closed, and he groaned as he tightened the hold he had on his waist and she could clearly see the little beads of sweat at his forehead. "What's wrong?" She asked worried.

"It… hu… hurts…" Was all he managed to say as he leaned over to rest his forehead on her thighs.

Finally understanding the situation, Sui reached for something inside her nightstand, retrieving a syringe containing some sort of transparent liquid within it.

"What's that?" Hiei said with a deep cautioning voice and quickly took a stand in front of her with a dangerous look in his eye.

"He's crashing." She said as she took of the protective plastic from the needle with her teeth and quickly glanced over warily to the stranger in her room instantly lifting precautions of those un-human red eyes. She spit out the tiny plastic piece and preceded, not even a little fazed by Hiei's hostile demeanor.

"Stop or I'll chop your arms off." Hiei hissed warningly.

Sui looked up at him shocked. She has received many threats but none like that. And she couldn't help wonder if he was being serious? And to her dismay his expression said nothing but. "Look, I don't know who you are or what you are to him, but after I give him this he'll feel much better."

"And if he doesn't take it?" He asked menacingly, taking a step closer to her, graving a hold of his Katana as he did. "I doubt he'll die." Something about his voice made the hairs behind her neck stand on end and makes a chill run down her spine. She could tell he was dangerous, short tempered, and mostly uptight but it was of the most unusual.

"Just let her fucking do it, Hiei." Kuwabara yelled out in clear desperation, and he groaned from under his expression as another painful attack struck. His body was beginning to shake with small violent tremors.

Hiei growled, but backed away. He just watched as Sui helped Kuwabara lie on his back on the mattress and shoot the liquid on the still virgin arm instead of the black and blue one.

After a while, Kuwabara stopped shaking, his breathing became more even, and he fell asleep.

"Got them." Ken calmly said as he slowly walked into the room, dragging his feet on the ground with as much enthusiasm as child told to clean his room. Sui and Hiei turned to look at him. He held a little white box in his outstretched hand and held a lit cigarette in between his lips.

"What took you forever?" Sui said standing up and yanking the box away before resuming her spot on the mattress next to Kuwabara's unconscious form.

"Who's he?" Ken asked ignoring Sui's ungratefulness as the short being leaning against the wall stole his attention.

"None of your business." Hiei hissed, leaning off the wall, warningly.

Ken almost lost his footing as he caught sight of Hiei's Katana, and he coward on a seat next to the mattress. "Real brave, Ken." Sui mocked.

"Shut up, Sui." He said to her with not of much of the venom in his voice as he intended to use.

"Who are you?" Sui asked Hiei not showing any signs of being threatened by him.

"I told you already to mind you own business you insignificant _human_. I'm only going to say this once, listen up if you want to live." Hiei said stepping closer to Sui. "Stay away from him." He spat.

Ken sighed in relief. "Oh, thank god. Well that's easy enough. No worries here, we never met him..." He rambled on while Sui stared fiercely into Hiei's red infuriated eyes. "I don't even know how he came to be…" Ken nervously continued as no one really paid any attention.

"Well then you're just going to have to kill me. Seeing as that's not going to happen, I mean." She said neutrally.

Hiei narrowed his eyes and place a menacing grin on his face. "If you value your life, even just a little bit, you will do what I say without question." He said as he took a step closer till they were just a couple of inches apart.

"Why does he matter so much to you?" She asked curiously, crossing her arms as she did. "What do you want from him? Because if you just wanted to help him you would have turned him in already."

Hiei quickly and without warning pulled out his Katana and before Sui knew it its blade, without phantom, lightly pushed into the flesh of her neck as he deeply breathed down her face. "No questions _human_. You will heal him, and forget him."

Sui laughed at him, before relaxing her muscles, teasingly revealing her neck so Hiei could see the small crimson river that was running down the long slender neck and disappeared into her blouse that revealed little of her small cleavage. But Sui showed no sign of fear as she seductively looked up at Hiei.

"I think you should do what he says, Sui." Ken cried out.

She just ignored him, and slowly began to spread her legs just enough so her knees where touching the inside of Hiei's legs. Hiei growled at her touch. "Don't toy with me, _human_, one way or another, I will get my way." Hiei hissed at her.

"I'm going to need a little more persuading then that." She purred to him, rubbing a knee up and down Hiei's leg and Hiei almost went limp as she almost touched a sensitive spot that was further. He could feel the heat of her warm skin spread up his leg and seeing Hiei's hesitation to make a move she continued to speak. "Now, are you going to let me attend to his wound, or are you going to kill me now, stranger?" Hiei looked down at her, never betraying the feelings inside, and continued to glare at her.

After a moment he backed off and growled as he walked away, using his Katana to slice a piece of furniture in half, before taking his position at the shadows.

Hiei and Ken watched with hostility as Sui carefully attended to Kuwabara's injuries. Eventually, Hiei left, and a couple of minutes later, so did Ken. Sui just laid next to Kuwabara, an arm over his stomach and her head on his shoulder. She watched him sleep; his chest rose and dropped rhythmically. His heart beat was small from where she was but it was there.

She picked her arm up from his stomach and carefully put a finger on Kuwabara's forehead and slowly began to trace down his profile. She remembered what Ken had said, about the girl. Her heart shrank just picturing Kuwabara holding some other girl's hand, but she kept lightly trailing down over his small pointed nose. She wished Ken had never told her, that Kuwabara didn't love her. That he didn't feel what she felt. Maybe, Ken was right; she should forget her childish fairy tales and go back to being who she was. But if it was a lie, then how come it felt so true in her heart? She felt something, and it frustrated her because she didn't understand what it was. She wants to know who Kuwabara is, and what she feels mean, and what he feels, and why she feels what she feels for him. And what bothered her the most was how mushy she was getting over a boy. How could someone affect her so much without trying? Her finger was now over his lips and a tear escaped her eyes and she pulled her hand into her chest. She doesn't know what she feels, but what she does knows is that she likes the way it awkwardly sits in her chest, and she doesn't want to let it go. She closed her eyes digging her small body further into Kuwabara's lengthy side. She felt protected, safe, at home and she was glad that he was back, even if she knew they might eventually have to part.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Kuwabara slowly opened his eyes and blinked at the lit night sky.

"Hey, sleepy head." Sui's soft voice spoke from besides him.

Kuwabara turned to face her. Immediately smiling as her pretty smiling features came to view. "Hey." He said back.

"You hungry?" She asked as she planted a small kiss on his lips before lifting herself off the bed and walking into the bathroom.

"No." He said back to her.

"Are you sure? If you keep eating nothing, you'll disappear from the face of the earth." She yelled from the bathroom. "And I think I might miss you, just a little bit." She joked.

Kuwabara laughed a little at what she said and groaned as he sat up on the bed. He felt around the bandages for a while, putting pressure in every other spot as he did. Slowly remembering how they came to be, watching the images play backwards in his head till the memory of Yukina came to mind. "I'm a fucking idiot." He said to himself, digging his face in his hands. _She probably hates me, now. _And the worst part about it was that he felt like he deserved it. And to think, the whole entire time it was him who was leading himself on. It was his own eyes making him see what he wanted to see. _How could I be such a fool?_

He was now pulling at his own hair without even knowing it. He felt worse than shit, like it was ever easy to accept that someone you like hated you. He wanted it to be easy, anyways, but it never was. How was he ever going to forget her, when for the longest time, it was the hope that if he did well enough in school and if he kept working as a spirit detective, they would eventually come together? Because deep within he felt that his connection to spirit world was his connection to her. How was he ever going to keep on waking up in the mornings if it was her he thought of as soon as his eyes flickered open? How was he ever going to say bye to her when it was impossible to say it even without her present? How was he going to move on, when it was she who kept him moving? How could she do that to him? It could only be hate… _She hates me._ But it was a concept that was hard to swallow. _She hates me… she fucking hates me. You fucking moron, what did you expect? She hates me…_Kuwabara repeated to himself as if he did he would eventually come to terms with it. He had to fight through this, he just knew it. The dread of having to find a reason to live, the small depressive voice in his head telling him how much of a failure he was, he had to find a way to fight them off, or else he wasn't going to make it. She had left a hole where his heart should have been. But with or without a heart, he still loved her with every part of his being; just the thought of her took the breath out of him. And the only thing he could think of doing was to sacrifice himself, if only for her happiness. He would never dare take that away from her. He knew she deserved a better life, even if that meant a life without him.

"Wow, you don't look so good, cowboy." Sui said taking a seat next to him and rubbing a hand on his back.

"Sui?" He asked looking up at her, his eyes spoke of a broken heart, and Sui could almost feel hers break too just by the look he bore.

"Yeah?"

"Do you believe in love at first sight?"

Slightly shocked she looked away, feeling nervous as he had looked into her eyes for an honest answer. "Well, I…" She fumbled for something to say, blushing a little at the hope it was her he was referring to.

"Stupid question, I shouldn't have asked." Kuwabara said quickly, regretting he had ever brought it up.

"No, Kuwabara, I think I do…" She said nervously, with a finger under his chin she lightly picking up Kuwabara's dropped gaze.

"You do?" He asked surprised.

"Yeah, I think I do."

"Did he leave you?" Kuwabara felt slightly confused but somehow in the inside he hoped to relate.

"Well, not exactly."

Now Kuwabara felt really confused. "What happened?"

"Well, this isn't about me. Tell me what you have going on in that rattled brain of yours." She quickly said trying to prevent herself from saying too much. "Who is she?"

Kuwabara never even saw it, the sad look that flickered in her eyes when he dropped his gaze once more.

"She must have really broken your heart." Sui said, feeling like an idiot for even feeling slightly jealous and even worse for knowing he wasn't even referring to her.

"I would have done anything… anything…" Kuwabara said, gulping hard as it had become a little difficult for him to talk, trying his best to hold the tears in. "I would… DO… anything… if only she…"

Not being able to help it, she grabbed a hold of his head and pulled him in close so he would lean on her shoulders and she wrapped her arms around his diminishing form. "It's okay… it's okay." She said soothingly. Kuwabara's shoulders trembled, but Sui just held on to him, not saying anything till he was ready to talk.

Suddenly, he pushed her away, feeling a little awkward for talking to her about Yukina, and Sui looked up at him confused. "I shouldn't have bothered you with this." He said his back turned to her. He felt like a nuisance bothering her with something about him.

But either way, Sui stood up and walked in front of Kuwabara. "I know you're lost." Sui began as she delicately placed a hand on his cheek. "I know you're hurt. I know you're alone." She said but Kuwabara refused to look at her. "Kuwabara, don't shut me out, please don't leave me alone. I want to help you through this, as a friend." She said as a tear ran down her cheek at seeing Kuwabara stubbornly not turn and look at her, coldly avoiding her eye contact. "You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to. I won't make you. I promise."

Kuwabara only wished he could believe her, it would only make things so much simpler for him. The words that she said to him stung his already dead heart almost back to life. How could anybody still want to be his friend? If only she could see him for what he really is. Finally, he looked down at her and saw her aqua eyes filled with tears. He wanted to wipe away her hurt but he didn't even know where to start. He leaned his head down and she let him dig it onto her shoulder, again. He couldn't hold himself back anymore, as the tears began to pour out. "You'll eventually hate me." He whispered to her.

"No, I won't. I won't ever. I fell… Kuwabara…" Sui began, having a hard time putting her words together. She really didn't want to say what she meant but there was no other way to put it and before she knew it they just came rushing out. "I fell in love with you the first time I saw you." She finally blurted out.

At that, Kuwabara pushed her away again. "Don't say that." He said whipping away the tears and discreetly sniffling.

"I'm sorry." She said falling down on her knees, feeling little support from her own trembling legs.

"Don't be." Kuwabara said quickly.

"You could leave, and I won't ever bother you again." Sui said ashamed, but Kuwabara didn't hear as her voice was too small. She really did feel like a fool exposing herself like that.

"I think you could do much better than me." Kuwabara confessed to her as he looked up at her. "Much better. I'm weak, and stupid, and you could do so much better." He continued, not really sure what he was trying to convince her of, it was probably obvious that he was a loser in all aspect of the word.

"DON'T YOU THINK I WAS ALREADY TOLD THAT?" She yelled at him, smacking her fist on the floor once at hearing him degrade himself like that. And Kuwabara cringed at the sound of her anguished voice. "DON'T YOU THINK I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS ALREADY?" Kuwabara shook his head side to side as she said it, he could not listen to this, not now. He didn't know why this was bothering him so and he hated how his emotions were easily unbalanced when they never use to be. He hated how this whatever had changed the most of him.

"DON'T FUCKING LIE TO ME." Kuwabara yelled back at her feeling like his head was about to explode if he didn't. "I can't take this. It can feel it, in here." He said roughly hitting his fist onto his chest. "I'm not something you play with and then throw away. Don't you get it? I'm human, too."

"I don't think you are, I wouldn't do that… and if it's a lie…" She began, swallowing hard as she looked for the words to say. "Then why does it feel real? Huh? Why would I waste my time doing and saying this? I don't walk around telling people this shit just for the heck of it."

"Don't say it… Don't say it if you don't mean it." He said as he walked over to her and took a seat on the floor in front of her so they were face to face, just inches apart. Pools of tears had formed on top of his agitated bottom lid, each one threatening to pore over.

"I mean it." She said, a little frightened at the how intimate they were now, but she looked back into him fearlessly, she hoped. "If I had my way, I wouldn't feel like this. If I had my way I wouldn't think twice about you… But… It's true… I'm in… love… with you." She confessed without looking away.

Kuwabara hissed and unexpectedly brought his fingers to her face at those words, wanting to cover her lips with it so she wouldn't say it anymore. He couldn't let her say what she was saying but something deep down inside of him wanted to hear it; begged for him to let her talk, so his hand just hovered next to her cheek and she closed her eyes as the tip of his fingers barely brushed over her skin. "You're saying things you can never take back." He whispered and he searched her, her expression, her eyes, her lips, anything to tell him she didn't mean any of it. He looked for the well set up lie meant to hurt him, but he couldn't find it anywhere. She looked back at him again, eyes twinkling with unshed tears. "You don't mean it." He accused, gulping down as he hoped for her to say something else but that. "I'm weak… I can't take it… I can't take it if you're playing games with me. I can't take it if you're lying to me. I can't…" He gulped hard. "This was a mistake… an honest mistake. Me, being here was a mistake…" He told her regretfully, his words falling more silent as he spoke.

She flinched at that. "Don't say that." She whispered out hurt by his words and suddenly she was angry and she could not hold down her temper. "This was stupid…" She began to yell. "…and this was irresponsible and I know I'm not the best influence but this was not a mistake. Don't you fucking call it that. Don't you fucking say that." She yelled smacking her fists on his chest. "How dare you, you fucking asshole?"

"Sui, I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"

"Don't give me that. You're not, you meant it and I don't you ever tell me you're sorry." She cried out. Now she hated him. "Fuck." She said hitting him on the chest again and pushing herself of the floor. Her heart weighed heavily on her chest and she unintentionally hiccupped some suppressed sobs as she felt warm tears spilling over and turned around so Kuwabara wouldn't notice. She felt torn up inside. She had exposed herself and she put herself on a vulnerable position like an idiot and all along she knew it was a stupid move in her part and now she couldn't figure out who she was more angry towards – towards herself or at Kuwabara.

"What do you want me to say? I swear I never meant for this. I never meant for you to do that." He yelled at her making it sound like some voodoo. Sui turned around to face him again, glaring at him with tearful eyes. "Don't look at me that way." He grouchily growled at seeing the killer anger in her eyes that could only be deep dislike and he couldn't blame her. "I love Yukina. Not you… Yukina." Kuwabara stifled out, regretting every word as it came out. He couldn't even look up at her, he was so confused. Yukina meant everything to him. She just left him, and he was alone. But he wasn't ready to start something new. He didn't even think it was possible to feel anything like that again. He stood and made his way across the room, wanting to make some distance between them – some room to breathe. He couldn't do this with her, to her, whatever. He couldn't lead her on when his heart still belonged to someone else.

And though his words weighed heavily in her heart, she wasn't ready to admit that this was over. She took a deep breath, wiping the tears away and walked over to Kuwabara, placing both her hand on his shoulder. He flinched away from the touch as a reflex, but then relaxed as he saw her reddened eyes. "I would never leave you, because I'm in love with you." She confessed again, this time she tried to make it sound as convincing as possible. "I hate you right now and I know you hate me, but you have to tell me you do, because then I won't understand… and I'll make you stay her all night 'til the sun comes up, 'til I can see that we just don't belong… Until I see that I was wrong… but if you leave now… I promise to disappear from your life and never bother you again and we will never speak again because this is how things should have been... even if I don't agree." She took a deep breath before continuing. "I won't ever replace Yukina. I know that. And I will never try… Please, believe me."She shut her eyes in dread because she was confident that now he was sure to leave.

Kuwabara just looked at her, his heart was broken and he probably cracked his head from the beating, he couldn't possibly think straight in those conditions. He didn't know what to do or what to say, but those eyes would haunt him forever if he left. They looked honest, pained, alone, hurt, lost, everything he was feeling. He thought about his time with her and for the first time took in account how much her friendship meant to him because without her he would still be lost, without a home and without someone to go to.

He bowed his head to plant a kiss on her lips, but didn't, just barely brushed them with his own. "You have to promise not to leave. Ever! Or I _will_ hate you." He warned.

"I won't, I promise." She said as she attempted to lock lips with his, but Kuwabara didn't permit her to and merely held her back by the shoulders.

"Promise?" Kuwabara asked again, wanting to hear her say it again, teasing her with his lips as he did.

"Promise." She said reassuringly, and made another attempt at a kiss.

"Promise?" It wasn't enough for him. He wanted to hear her say it over and over and over again because even if he would have foolishly believed her before now he had lost his trust on people.

"Promise." She whispered back to him.

"Promise..." He demanded again, lost in the world in which only he and her existed and time stood still.

Sui giggled at his persistence. "I'll be here forever. … Always your friend, always yours. Cross my heart, hope to die."

Author's Notes: Thanks to Anime's-mistress, VampireRubi89 and YuYulover for reviewing. I love to hear that you guys/girls are liking/loving it so far. It gives me that extra boost of confidence that I really need.

I know it got a little fluffy and stupid, I don't know how those bunnies escaped, honestly!


	13. Blue Plastic Diamond Ring

Author's Notes: Holy shit… I give everyone who has been waiting for me to post the next chapter up permission to kill me. I can not stress enough how sorry I really, really, really am.

I really hated this chapter, and I read it and read it and changed it here and there till I couldn't take it anymore and rewrote the damn thing. Well I feel a little better about it.

Gosh, I feel like a failure. But at least I'm still going. Not planning on stopping just yet. That's good right? Whatever… feeling down… *sigh*

Well thanks for waiting patiently and thanks for the reviews and enjoy.

Chapter 13: Blue Plastic Diamond Ring (Remake)

"What's your deal anyways?" Sui asked Kuwabara as they both lay on the luscious green grass at the middle of a field in the local park, holding hands, and doped up in as much as they could get a hold of. The sun was at its highest and the light revealed nothing of the beating Kuwabara had endured at the hands of the detectives just two weeks prior.

Kuwabara laughed, just barely listening to what Sui said, as he watched the summer clouds move and shape shift above him. They had been laughing about it all day, and still Kuwabara was amused but now Sui was coming back down to earth and somehow the idea of staring at the white puffs in the sky for hours on end same less interesting.

"Kuwabara, you're not listening to me." She said rolling on top of him, blocking his view of the clouds.

"What?" He asked, having a hard time relaxing the muscles at his cheeks.

"I want to know a little about you."

"What do you want to know?"

"Everything."

"Everything?" He asked a little over whelmed at the wide range of notion.

"Yeah, everything." She purred.

"Well, okay…" Kuwabara said thoughtfully. "My name is Kazuma Kuwabara. I was born here. I went to that school, no there, no there." He said pointing to his right then to his left then right again, forgetting exactly where he was, and then laughed again as he had a hard time remaining serious. "I like blue. My favorite band is Megallica. I've been out of the country once… I think."

"Fascinating." Sui said sarcastically.

"I thought you might think so." Kuwabara replied still smiling big.

"I mean…"

"What did you mean?" Kuwabara interrupted playfully as he ran a hand through her golden locks that draped at either side of her slightly tanned features.

"Let me finish…" She commanded lightheartedly and Kuwabara chuckled amused. "I meant, your family, your friends, you… why did you runaway?"

Kuwabara quieted down for a while as he played with her hair, somewhat gathering his scattered thoughts. "I left…" He said, emphasizing _left_. "… because… I got bored." He finally said and he looked up at her with an empty smile and she immediately knew he wasn't willing to talk about it, because she could tell by the way he vaguely stared at space and by the way that he seems so quiet sometimes that something happened and whatever that was it was big enough to make him run, it scared him enough to make him run. She considered pushing on the subject a little more, and her curiosity begged her to ask until she got to bottom of the secret he held behind tightly closed lips but despite herself she remained silent because the last thing she wanted to do was make him run from her.

Sui stared down at him for a while as he played with the deep golden locks in between his fingers. His long thin fingers massaged the silk-like strands as he stared at them with trance, his brown eyes never moving away. He unconsciously chewed on his bottom lid, gently and calmly nibbling away and suddenly his brown eyes met her own and Sui felt a flock of butterfly begin to flutter their wings all about her stomach. A long lean arm stretched up and he softly placed a hand on her cheek, his eyes scanned her face for a while and Sui couldn't help wonder what he was thinking about. His eyes looked like those of a love struck drunk and she felt nervous as he remained silent staring up at her as his hand slowly moved down the soft skin of her cheek.

"Angel." He finally said catching Sui off guard but at hearing that word her eyes opened up in astonishment.

"What did you just s…" She began to say but suddenly she was pulled into a passionate kiss that made the world around her disappear and at that moment it was only them. She felt his long arms wrap around her and she was pulled deeper into a passion that Kuwabara had never shown before. His fingers tightly held on to her back, gently but securely holding her in place; holding her close to him.

Before she knew it she was at the bottom, Kuwabara's body pressed tightly atop of her. The weight of his body filled her up with heat like a protective blanket and she wished to never be uncovered from under him. Her arms were pinned to the grass by Kuwabara's capable hands and his kisses moved down her chin and she moaned as they reached her sensitive neck. In between all the steam a herd of words reached and echoed in her ears. Her brows furrowed in confusion as they slowly and vaguely were processed in her head, but the distraction that was Kuwabara caused them to slip from thought. Kuwabara's hand released one of her wrists and he calmly placed it on her hip, feeling the rim of her shirt. He fiddled with it for a while, never letting his lips stray away from her, till finally all of his fingers were under the cloth and his hand swept up her side and stopped under her back.

"Sui, please." The soft quiet words came from Kuwabara, and just like the last, it confused Sui.

She gulped at hearing him, his plead wasn't that of desire or lust it was of pain and distress.

"Tell me to stop." They came again.

Suddenly the passion was gone and she felt naked. She parted her eyes only to see the clear blue sky above her. She turned her head and saw Kuwabara sitting once again on the grass looking down at the space between his tightly closed fists that rested each on either knee.

Sui pulled herself up and crawled over to him, she moved to pace a hand on Kuwabara's shoulder but before she could do so Kuwabara flinched away unexpectedly.

"Don't." Kuwabara warned but he same not like himself. Was he afraid?

"Kuwabara, what's wrong?" She asked worried. She didn't know what triggered this unexpected behavior from him.

"I'm sorry." Kuwabara simply stated. He inched away from Sui, slowly and discretely but Sui noticed the sudden wall that appeared all around him. Kuwabara had just drawn his boundaries and he was now allowing no one to come near.

"For what?" She asked still more then confused.

"Letting myself get carried away." He said and to her surprise he smiled a nervous smile at her. She could tell he was trying to brush it off; wave it away. He rubbed one of his arms with the other hand, he was beginning to hide away into himself. He looked at everything around him besides her, then his eyes fell back on the grass. He was building his defenses back up, because for a moment he had let them down.

Her heart beat one to many per second at seeing him like this. She could feel herself panic; she had not realized how damaged he was till now. He was hiding more than a just secret, he was hiding himself. The part he hated more about himself.

"Kuwabara, what just happened?" She asked slowly, carefully. Not wanting to scare him deeper into the dark tunnel that was himself.

"I'm tiered." He said bringing the ball of his hand up to his eyes and rubbing at them but it was just an excuse and she knew it.

"Kuwabara, I want to help you. I do, but I have to know what's wrong first." She said placing a hand on his shoulder and this time Kuwabara didn't flinch away but it was easy to tell it was taking all of his will power to keep himself from breaking. In a way she was glad about it, it told her his defenses were still down.

Kuwabara brought his knees to his chest and buried his face in between them. His arms wrapped around them and Sui rubbed a hand up and down his back. He wanted her to get closer, but he simply couldn't let her. Something inside him whispered in his ear not to, something told him it would hurt when she left, when she found out whom he was, when she found out that he was exactly like the thing that turned into this. A perverse monster.

She could feel his body tremble against her palm. When he finally looked up she could see tears staining his face. His eyes remained watery as he turned to look at her. "I'm okay. Seriously." He said and one hand stretched to push her hair away from her face. "I promise." His lips connected with hers for a light peck. He smiled a little and turned his head away before sniffling a little and whipping the remainder of his tears away.

She was far from convinced that he was _okay_. She may not know what _okay_ really is but she was sure that _this_ sitting in front of her wasn't it. In fact he could be the poster boy for what isn't. But she couldn't pull him out from hiding, only he could.

"You probably think I'm pathetic." Kuwabara uncomfortably said, snapping Sui out of her thoughts.

"No, I don't." She quickly responded. "What makes you said that?" She then defended.

"That look on you face kinda gave you away." He said quickly glancing her way but stayed only for a couple of seconds before his eyes fell to the grass again. He gulped hard and she could tell it bothered him.

"I don't think you're pathetic. I just know there's more to it and I want to help. Kuwabara, let me in." She begged.

"Sui, I'm fine." He said confidently and she could tell all four walls were back up and standing.

Kuwabara pulled out a syringe from his pocket and waggled it in front of Sui's face for emphasis. "Ready for another round?" He asked with mischievous eyes, but inside he could still feel enraged, hurt – like salt in an open wound. He really wanted to forget. He had come this far without talking about it he didn't need one more obstacle getting in his way to feeling normal again, all he had to do was forget.

"Here?" Sui looked flabbergasted as she looked around the park. She could see a couple of people, the closest one around twenty yards away. "Where did you get that from, anyways?" She asked a little more seriously as her eyes landed back on Kuwabara, specifically the syringe.

"Ken. He hands it out like candy." Kuwabara had already stuck the needle in and was now pushing the drug into his vein with shaking hands. Sui just watched as he laid back down on the grass and as he started waving a hand in the air as if reaching or touching for something only he could see.

Sui couldn't stand seeing him like this. He has literally withered away to almost skin and bones right in front of her, and she somehow felt it was herself who was partially – if not mainly - to blame. She did introduce him to all the addictive stimulants and all the wrong people, but she couldn't help think that Ken had something to do with his current dependency on them, too. She stood up and grabbed a hold of Kuwabara's swaying hand. "C'mon, let's get something to eat." She invited.

Kuwabara looked up at the sky for a while and Sui could see sadness in his eyes, making a chill run up her spine. With a blink the look was gone and he complied, letting Sui help him to his feet and they both made their way out of the park.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Kuwabara had become accustomed to wearing sweaters wherever he went to hide all the bruises that came with pricking yourself with the needle. He had taken Ken's advise and gave his arm a rest – kind of – and has picked some others spots to medicate. That had come with a bit of a problem; his skin had begun to look like that of a Dalmatian - white skin coved with black spots. He liked the idea of using one spot and one spot only better, but Ken and especially Sui thought it was a bad idea. But it was okay because he didn't mind the sweaters at all. The hot summer days were not as hot as he remembered them. In fact, the days seemed to be a bit chilly at times; but with the sweaters that never seemed to be a problem. So, it all seemed to work out just fine.

Except that today he had forgotten his sweater and from all the places in town that they could catch a snack at, Sui had to pick an ice-cream shop. He was practically freezing his balls off. He was even a little hesitant about sitting down at the table, but he did and just as he had expected, his whole skin had absorbed the coolness of the booth right on contact and an uncontrollable chill ran up his body.

Kuwabara took a sip from his hot cup of coffee, which had most people at the shop staring at him when he had ordered it. The staff had to pull out the coffee machine that had not been in use in since practically the end of winter. Kuwabara never noticed the look the staff had given him of strange bafflement as if someone had told them that it was going to rain cats and dogs later that day. Even Sui would have joined in if she wasn't already use to it. But Sui just ran with it; seeing his content face whenever he had his cup of hot coffee in hand was worth the strange stares that only she, out of the two, seemed to notice.

"Marry me." Sui had said out of the blue as they sat in the booth, Sui eating her bubblegum flavored ice-cream and Kuwabara drinking his black coffee.

Kuwabara looked up at her from his coffee, a smile stretching over his face. "What?" He laughed out.

"Marry me. C'mon, it'll be fun." She said trying to keep a serious face but her eyes were looking at him with amusement.

"Here I thought we were taking things slow." He said leaning back to take a better look at Sui.

She wrinkled her nose at the words. "Slow? That's no fun. Lets add drama!" That's the way her whole life had been and she couldn't imagine it at a slower pace.

"We'd skip steps 4 through 12 if we get married, now."

"Really? Are they any fun?" She asked innocently.

"They can be."

"Like what?"

"Threesome." He joked.

"Oh, I see. Me, you, and another guy." She purred.

"No, more like me you and another girl."

"No fun, let's skip."

"Fine. Breaking up and getting back together."

"That reminds me of someone I know. I hate when they do that. No, skip that too."

"Yeah, me too. How about, embarrassing public surprise proposal?"

"We can do that."

"We can? Don't we need a ring?"

"Sure."

"It really wouldn't be much of a surprise, don't you think?"

"Maybe." Kuwabara furrowed his brows at her as she stood up off the booth and walked away.

When she came back, one of her hands were behind her back and she didn't waste any time as she climbed on top of the table, cleared her throat making everyone set their attention towards her. Once everyone was looking, she looked back down at Kuwabara, who looked up at her wide eyed in surprise, before speaking. "I have not put a lot of thought into this. And yes, it is out of the blue, but fuck it…" A couple of elderly people and some women with their children gasped at her profanity, but Sui didn't pay attention and continued preaching her unrehearsed speech. "You are the best friend I have ever had, and if it is possible..."

"Sui." He hissed at her with embarrassment as he looked around the room full of people whose eyes were directed at them.

"Let me finish…" She giggled at his surprised, red faced, expression. "I've never done this before."

"Really? What a relief." He said sarcastically as he stretched out a hand towards her, trying to grave a hold of her so he could pull her off the table, but she smacked his hand away every time.

"C'mon, it'll be fun. You get a tux and I get the dress, we have a party with a cake and make sure someone is there to join us in wedded matrimony."

"I can't afford a tux." He confessed to her, hoping she would come to her senses and forget the whole idea, though he had to admit, the idea did seem out there and somewhat fun.

"I'll get it."

"Whose going to be there?"

"Ken."

"And."

"Friends."

"And."

"Us."

"This is nuts." He said still not fully convinced.

"What do you say? Would you, Kazuma Kuwabara, marry me?" She asked loud enough for everyone to hear and then got down on one knee, brought the hand hidden behind her forward, popped the plastic ball open to reveal a coin machine toy ring in it. "And it's just your luck, the diamond is blue." She said as she pulled it out and displayed it just in front of him.

Kuwabara was catching up with the joke and it translated in his face. He now looked up at Sui, eyes twinkling with a big stupid smile on his face. Then something popped in his head, and he turned his face away, smile gone, eyes shut in disinterest. He had to take advantage of this, it's not often that a girl proposes to him – or not at all – either way it was a once in a life time opportunity. "I don't know. When I imagine someone proposing to me, I imagine a serenade, a fancy restaurant and a very expensive ring." Kuwabara said crossing his arms in pretend disapproval.

Sui glanced around the shop, everyone's eyes were still on them. _Had he just said _no _to her? _She jumped off the table with a hand on her chest and her mouth gapped in feigning astonishment. "Oh, but my dear sir. You leave me baffled, here a believed that you were not like the rest. High maintenance, are we?"

Kuwabara got up from his seat, a hungry expression had appeared on his face, he moved towards Sui, swung an arm around the small of her back and brought her into his embrace. "High maintenance? " He asked raising a brow. "Yes. I want the best of everything." He finished and planted a kiss on her lips which she happily accepted.

Butterflies flew in her stomach for the second time that day. She was crazy for him. And he only made it harder to let him go. They fit into one another like matching puzzle pieces.

From within the long forgotten ice-cream shop, _awes_ were heard. And to Sui's surprise, she was the one blushing with embarrassment and not Kuwabara who looked pretty pleased with himself. She looked up into his eyes. _The girl he was in love with was nuts for ever letting him ever get away._ She thought.

"Say _yes_ already." Someone called out from the crowd.

Kuwabara got a hold of Sui's hand that was tightly clenched and without any struggle he pried it open, exposing the blue diamond plastic ring. He picked it up and slipped it on his pinky – the only finger it probably could be squeezed into – and looked back at her. "Yes. But I'm not wearing the dress."He warned.

Sui lightly laughed at the thought of seeing Kuwabara in a dress, and her eyes twinkled with happiness. Everything was perfect, everything in her life was finally coming together.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"You're what?" Ken exclaimed in disbelief.

"Getting married." Sui told him again. She and Kuwabara stood side by side holding hands.

"See." Kuwabara said, holding up the hand with the ring on his pinky.

"And you're telling me, why?" Ken asked, ignoring Kuwabara.

"We're going to celebrate our engagement tonight and I want you to come with us."Sui invited.

"Don't you remember the opening of Club Suicide?" Ken said pulling open a planner and scanning his finger over the information. "They named it after you only if you showed up opening night, and I already said you were. Plus they're willing to hand you money. That means it's your job to be there. So do your job, Sui." He demanded but to Kuwabara he was just whining and he rolled his eyes at ken, but it did not go unnoticed. Ken suddenly glared at him with impatience before going back to pretending that Kuwabara was not standing there.

"Perfect, we'll go there." She said perkily.

"Not with that you're not." Ken said pointing at Kuwabara. Kuwabara rolled his eyes, again. It was beginning to feel like torture being in the same room with Ken. "I mean, what are people going to say?" Ken gave a disgusted face. "Charity, maybe. Feeding the starving drug addicts…" Ken mused.

"You care too much about what people say, cousin. Lighten up a bit."

"I'm only showing concern for you. Is that a sin?" He defended.

"Well, no. I guess we'll meet ya there." She told him as she walked out still hand in hand with Kuwabara. As Kuwabara was being led out, he kept looking at Ken who stared back at him with menacing, hateful eyes. Though he didn't feel intimidated by them, he could feel the vile. Whatever Ken had rolling around his mind it seemed to be directed to him, and he had to remember to make a mental note to stay out of his path for the rest of the night or he was sure things were bound to get ugly.


	14. Taste of the Past

Authors Notes: This chapter might be offensive to some in the aspect that it might be a little vulgar. This is my heads up. Bad me, bad. Sorry! Very small part, though. Very. But in my defense it _is_ rated M. Very, very, very M. Hope no one hold it against me.

Thanks to everyone that has read my fic.

Special thanks to everyone that reads and reviews. I love a little R&R. You guys keep me going… kinda like the energizer bunny.

Chapter 14: Taste of the Past

"Have you ever considered going back home?" Sui asked as they drove down to the club.

"Why?" Kuwabara responded automatically with a voice of little interest as if he had heard her but his mind was a million miles away. He was slumped down on the passenger seat next to her watching as the town zoomed past him in an amazing array of colorful lights and flashing signs.

"Well, school is about to start again and it would be nice if we both went… you know, together." She said nervously. She gave him some time to answer but when she heard nothing from him she continued. "I don't know… maybe it's not my place to say but if your sister really does care about you, she'd understand. Right?" Kuwabara remained silent and Sui was beginning to feel like he wasn't even listening. "KUWABARA!" She exclaimed.

"What?" He said absentmindedly, finally turning to face her at hearing his name.

"You're not listening." She said unaware that she was pouting, brows pushed down into a frown and he couldn't help wondered how many things were handed to her in a silver spoon with that look.

"Yeah, I am." He grouched.

"What did I say, then?"

"You know what you said."

"That's not the point, Kuwabara."

"I just don't see the point. I doubt I'll live past the age of 20… no point going back if I die." He mused, and it almost same to Sui that he wasn't even holding a conversation with her at all. It was like he was locked in his own head, talking to himself and she was left to listen to his suicidal thoughts like a much ignored eavesdropper.

Sui sighed and rolled her eyes. "Really?" She said annoyed. "I can tell you had a perfectly healthy upbringing."

Kuwabara ignored her sarcasm. His upbringing was as normal as it gets in the Kuwabara household. One family member other then himself that played the role of his sister, his brother, his mother and father all in one tall, slim, bossy package. He couldn't complain - and never did. He never wished for anything else and Shizuru never gave him a reason to. He had all the motherly love a child could ever ask for from her. She raised him, protected him, taught him how to be a person and he could finally see clearly the betrayal of his love for her. The hurt he had bestowed on her the moment he decided to leave without a word. And this was the first time he ever considered going home.

He swallowed the feeling of painful shame and self hatred that corked his breathing for everything he has done wrong up to this point; he tried his best to push it away, begging himself not to erupt into hysteria. He could feel his mask was beginning to wear thin.

Sui glanced over to look at Kuwabara and Kuwabara could feel the way she looked at him. Concern. He was becoming a burden. He wondered how much of it she could take before she realizes it was time for her to move on.

He was breaking and he didn't need a mirror to tell him he looked like death worn over. He counted the days till all of this is finally over; patients getting shorter. But he knew that if he pushed his body to feed of itself a little more and if he kept pocking himself with fatal shots of mind altering hallucinogens the choice would eventually be taken from his hand and he would be no more. Too late to do anything; too late for anyone to do anything.

He released a relaxed breath at the thought, somehow feeling comforted by it. But he was and the suicidal thoughts that lately same to swim in his brain at random intervals worked to calm him.

She once again glanced over to him and saw that he was once again staring out the window. He looked extremely pale and pasty, the dark circles under his eyes had doubled ever since he had been spending his time with her and he had lost a significant amount of weight and now he was talking like there was a noose tied around his neck and he was just waiting for the platform to fall from under him.

Sui had been aware of the monster eating away at Kuwabara for a while. She had figured that much about him. She knew there was something he was hiding from her. She knew he was unhappy. What she didn't know was how to make it go away. "Things will get better." She simply stated hopefully.

"Things are better." Kuwabara said with that voice of little interest, again. And she hated that voice. He was wrong; from as low as he was things could only be described as worse.

Sui hated this. She hated seeing him like this and she knew he was too deep in his own world for him to realize that he was hurting her with every word he left unspoken. She could feel tears forming; her nose ached with a sudden pierce of pain that came with the tears. She tried subsiding the feeling by sniffling to no avail. She didn't want to cry partially so she wouldn't ruin her makeup but mainly because she didn't want Kuwabara to know she was upset. She slipped her free hand into one of Kuwabara's that laid lazily beside his thigh, squeezing it a bit for only a second just for reassurance, if only to herself. A silent promise that thing would get better.

It took a couple of second, but he eventually squeezed hers back and to her surprise he turned to face her with a smile on his face. "You're not going to make me fallow you around with your books all day, are you?" He asked lightheartedly, a brow up in suspicion.

Her features brightened and a smile lit up as a stray tear rolled down her face. "Does that mean _yes_?" She exclaimed excitedly, barely able to keep herself from bouncing of her seat in happiness.

"Yes? For what?" He asked. He knew what she was talking about. He knew how he had upset her by dumping his problems on her. He needed a way to make it up to her.

"Does that mean you'll go back home?" The excitement still in her voice and he was worried that she was going to crash into something if she didn't keep her eyes on the road.

"Yes." He said awkwardly. He needed to make it up to her for all the time he spent wasting her time with his problems. He needed to make it up to his sister who he knew was probably worried to death about him. He needed to make it up to everyone he has ever hurt. He owed them an explanation. "First thing tomorrow." Kuwabara promised. His heart sped up with the feeling of fear and nervousness at the thought of seeing everyone again. Their reactions, his reactions to their reactions. A well expected welcome home punch from Yusuke, another from his sister. That would be the easiest part. He could feel himself ache with fatigue for all the time he spent on all fours trying to crawl away from his problems.

He was ready to pick himself up on his two feet, again. If only for Shizuru who he owed his life to, and his friends that stood by his side since kindergarten. It couldn't possibly be that hard to start over, he thought.

He needed to give this a chance. He needed a chance for redemption.

And if all else failed, the end wasn't that far. He leaned back on his seat comfortably, looking out the window again, he half smile to himself. All he needed was a razor and a couple of minutes to himself and it will be all over, if all else failed...

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

They had been in the unforgivably bright and loud club for about two hours now and Sui had managed to dance none stop. Kuwabara didn't even know someone could dance for that long. Now she was making her way towards him accompanied with the guy who had asked her out to dance. He was tall, handsome, mysterious, tan, and whatever else that had the girls drooling over him.

Sui bowed down and gave Kuwabara a peck on the lips before taking her seat next to him and immediately pouted her lips out at him.

"What?" Kuwabara laughed out. He couldn't wrap his brain around her and her signature pout; spoiled as hell. He could just imagine her getting away with murder with that look.

"Let's dance. Please!" She begged graving a hold of his hand with both of hers.

"Remember, can't dance." He stated pointing his finger inwardly to himself.

"I don't care."

Big aqua eyes looked at him, beg for him to comply and he could just about say yes and he was about to agree, until…

"I know what he needs." The familiar snarky voice of one Ken said as he appeared through the crowds. Sui immediately turned to look at him, a smile stretching across her lips.

"Hey, Ken. Glad you're finally here." She said as she got up of her seat and embraced him in a hug.

"I know what you need." Kuwabara said under his breath as he downed his drink and slammed the glass on the tabletop. Apparently they had heard him. Sui shot him a look of disapproval over her shoulder and Ken gave him a smile that looked more like a devilish grin. Kuwabara only wished to pop it of his face.

"You need to loosen up a bit. I never did congratulate you guys." Ken said as he pulled out a bottle full of green tablets.

"Ken, no, we don't need any of that." Sui immediately said at the sight of them and turned to look at Kuwabara. "Please, dance with me."

"Sui…" Kuwabara began but was cut off by the handsome model like dude standing behind her.

"If it's no trouble at all, I would like to have this dance with you." He said bowing a little and presenting her with his hand. She took it and gave Kuwabara a hurt look before being led to the dance floor once again.

"What do you say? Want to try one with me?" Ken asked as soon as Sui was out of earshot, and Kuwabara looked at the bottle he held in his hand and then up at his face. "No." He confidently said.

"No? C'mon, I won't tell Sui you did. It'll be something between us men."

"You're no man." Kuwabara said and Ken's face stiffened in embarrassment at the offense to his persona.

"And you are? I'm probably ten years older then you, you twerp." He hissed at Kuwabara clearly taking it to heart. He snatched a shot of golden liquid from a tray of one of the passing waitresses.

"It doesn't mean you're a man. You've probably never worked for something in your life. And dealing drugs doesn't count."

"But playing video games do? What have you've done? Huh? You a man? You've probably haven't even lost your virginity, yet." Ken spat out mockingly, downing the whiskey and slamming his glass as the liquid burned down his throat.

Kuwabara didn't say anything back; he just looked down to the dance floor and saw the male model dude with a hand resting dangerously low on Sui's hip. He was astounded to see Sui was looking back at him – or them. She was probably worried that he and Ken were about to brawl it out right then and there, and he just wasn't going to give Ken the satisfaction of ending this night in ruins for Sui just because Ken stepped on one too many of his toes.

"Sorry, man. I didn't mean to rain on your parade." Ken apologized seeing that Kuwabara had settled down. "I know this is your night, we should be celebrating. Here." He said shoving a drink in his hand. Kuwabara half listened, half kept eye contact with those of Sui's. "To becoming a man." Ken toasted, bumping glasses with that of Kuwabara's and then Kuwabara raised his to Sui's before downing the whiskey in it. Seeing this probably put her at ease because she gave him a smile and turned her attention to the guy she was dancing with.

That's when he noticed it. Someone standing beyond Sui was staring back at him. Just as soon as that someone noticed Kuwabara had figured him out, it had disappeared out of sight in a blink of an eye. Kuwabara immediately started to search through the many faces to see if he could spot him again.

"C'mon, man. I'll help you with your virginity problem." Ken began, again.

"I'm no virgin." Kuwabara bluntly confessed.

"Whatever. We need to get you laid before you finally tie the knot and have to fuck the same pussy every night." Ken said vulgarly.

"Don't talk about her like that." Kuwabara said letting himself let go of his paranoia, obviously snapped out by Ken's insensitive comment. He still wasn't going to let Ken ruin this night, and he was fully aware that Ken was intentionally pushing on the wrong buttons.

"Take a look over there." Ken said, and Kuwabara glanced over to him and then to the direction Ken's finger was pointing. Next to the bar stood a very attractive lady; curvaceous hips, tiny waist and full petite chest and long sensual legs. "I can make it happen." He said and the lady waved a hand towards their direction, blowing a kiss directly to Kuwabara.

"No." Kuwabara simply said and he could almost hear Ken's rage boil up in the form of a snicker.

"Don't worry, she won't bite and I'll cover for you. Sui will never know. A couple of minutes in a bathroom booth with her, that's all it'll take. I'll just tell Sui that you had to take a leak." By this time, Kuwabara was just amused at how badly Ken wanted him out of his life. Not even Hiei had tried that hard. And it had surprised him that he had thought of Hiei. The last time he was with him he was rescued by him and he had in between the lines confessed that he had been following him. He couldn't help wonder if the eyes he had caught sight of belonged to Hiei.

Then there it was again. Beyond the lady, there was the eyes looking back at him, and once again they were gone before he got a chance to focus in on them. Whoever that was, they were fast. Fast enough to not get noticed, but Kuwabara had. It wanted him to notice. Hiei didn't usually want to get noticed, and even if he did he was sure Hiei wasn't the type to skulk about. He knew that much. This had to be someone else.

He once again looked all around the area, but to his dismay, the room began to blur. He blinked his eyes a couple of times and he immediately got his sight back.

"What's wrong? Feeling a little dizzy?" He heard Ken say from beside him but his voice sounded further away then he remembered him standing last. He turned to face him and he had his stupid grin on again. He looked pretty pleased with himself. Then Ken pulled up the bottle full of little green pills right in front of Kuwabara blurring sight. "Dissolves in water, or whiskey - you know, whatever – and it's basically flavor less." He laughed. "Now, we're having fun. Have a nice after life." Ken said and then he pushed him into the crowd of people and after stumbling backwards a bit, balance lost, Kuwabara eventually fell on his back.

No one cared about Kuwabara as many stepped over him and other unintentionally kicked him. But he managed to get on his knees and look around the crowd. His sight fluctuated into and out of blurriness and the noise in the room constantly rose and lowered in volume. He shook his head and everything went back to normal. Then the little hairs behind his neck began to stand. His body was picking up on something – something familiar.

He got back on his feet with a little struggle and as soon as he was at his tallest again a ringing in his ear began to go off. Instead of trying to go back to where he knew Sui would be looking for him, he moved towards the origin of that something he knew he recognized. Curiosity nagging at him.

Kuwabara had finally found the source. In the midst of the people there was a figure that stood out from the rest. His back was towards him, but he could see an amazing blue aura thing about him. And now that he could see it and not just feel it, it was like something had awoken in him that had spent a while hibernating.

He pushed through the crowds, closer to that familiar energy, closer to that strong energy. He had forgotten everything from that other world, and he had forgotten about his own powers. But it was all coming back to him – even the feel of it - and as he neared he suddenly wanted to get away, suddenly realizing that he wasn't ready to confront him; he halted just five yards away. Whoever that was, he was angry -strong anger, powerful anger – and he wondered why he had to follow his stupid curiosity when in all reality he never use to before. But it wasn't too late to turn back now, just then the raven head decided to show his face. It was like in slow motion, but yet his body couldn't move fast enough - if at all – to turn away now, to leave now. But he didn't, something inside of him still wanted to know, almost missed that feeling of pure adrenaline rushing through his veins, and as soon as he saw those big brown eyes, that cocky expression, that grin he always had whenever he had beaten him in another street fight without so much as breaking a sweat. _Yusuke Urameshi. _This was war.

Then, just like that, the energy was gone. Yusuke no longer was surrounded by the aura, and his vision blurred again for a second before he forced his sight to focus in again. He could see Yusuke glaring at him from across the room, but he could feel him nothing nor see his aura. Yusuke took a step towards his direction and Kuwabara took a step back. He knew he couldn't outrun Yusuke, no point on even attempting, but Kuwabara was never the type to back down from a challenge. It was a part of something he once called his Honor Code.

When Yusuke took another step forward Kuwabara didn't budge. Just as soon as Yusuke saw Kuwabara charging up his energy and summoning his sword, Yusuke's brows furrowed even more and the grin stretched out further on his cheeks. This definitely felt familiar to Kuwabara, almost like home should feel. If he missed anything from what or who he use to be, it was this.

"Just like old times." Yusuke said.

"Just like old times." Kuwabara agreed.

"You know you're gonna lose."

"I know I won't back down without a fight."

"You where always mostly talk. Glad to see that hasn't changed."

"You pretend to know me, Urameshi."

"Show me something different, and maybe I'll stop pretending."

Suddenly, an arm wrapped around his own and he could feel Sui's undeniable presence standing next to him, but his sight never left Yusuke who did break eye contact and was now staring at the girl whispering something into Kuwabara's ear.

"We have to go. There was word that some detectives where here and that they were looking for you." She informed him. Just then he decided to look into the crowd and there was a row of phantom people that uniformly moved in a row fallowing a not so phantom one from positions at all sides of him and one after another went and took a stand at the front and back exits, the only exits. But no one in the club seemed to notice. As he looked around, everyone else looked phantom and blurred as well. There was definitely something wrong with him, he was beginning to feel a little… weird. But no time to start worrying, he couldn't leave now.

"Go, I'll catch up. I have something to deal with first." Kuwabara told Sui as his eyes landed back on Yusuke. His sight blurred and focused again and his spirit sword disappeared from his fist.

"Kuwabara. Kuwabara. What's wrong? You don't look so hot." Sui said.

"I think you're cousin put something in my drink." He told her absently as if it really didn't bother him, but really he didn't want to make a big deal about it and frighten her or he was sure she wouldn't get off his case and he didn't need anyone to tie him down now when he stood face to face with no one other then Yusuke.

"What?"She sounded genuinely surprised and worried.

"I'll tell you later. Just go. Don't worry." He said raising the hand with the blue diamond ring on it. "We won't get separated." He said reminding her of their promise with a show of the ring.

With a kiss on the cheek she left him. When he turned back to Yusuke, Yusuke was scratching his head in estranged puzzlement.

"Jeez, Kuwabara. Gone for a month and already you have a new girlfriend. And she's not that bad, wonder what she sees in you." Yusuke said laughing at his own joke.

"Urameshi, can't you be serious for just one second." Kuwabara growled.

"Naw. That's never been my style."

Kuwabara's sight blurred again and he felt himself almost lose footing and this time Yusuke could tell there was something off with Kuwabara.

"Are you stoned?" Yusuke asked angrily and he marched the five yards to Kuwabara and immediately grabbed a hold of Kuwabara's arm. That earned Yusuke a punch to the cheek.

"My body, my rules." Kuwabara growled at him when Yusuke finally let go. He didn't need to explain himself to him.

"Okay, now you're pissing me off." Yusuke said and punched Kuwabara back, sending Kuwabara tumbling back into a crowd and disappearing from view.

"Damn it." Yusuke cursed under his breath rubbing at his pink cheek. "Not what I had in mind." He told himself, aggravated.

It took a while for Kuwabara to focus in his surrounding but he eventually did and he could tell he was on the floor again because he could see feet and they were kicking him again. He got on his knees and this time he couldn't get up any higher. He was definitely out of shape.

At a distance he could see a pillar that ran all the way up to the ceiling. His limbs shook from under him. Looking at the pillar he figured he could use its help. He slowly began to crawl his way over to it when he noticed that his hand was missing a blue diamond to his cheap metal ring.

He turned to look behind him and to his relief the diamond was just a couple of feet from where he was. Kuwabara crawled back to it till he couldn't move any further through the tightly packed crowds of legs that stood at eye level to him, then he made an attempt to reach for it. But no matter how much he stretched his long arm towards it, it just wasn't enough, he needed more rope.

Just then someone grabbed him by the shoulder and flipped him over and Kuwabara wasn't surprised to see it was Yusuke. Defensively, Kuwabara pushed him off with his feet and Yusuke stumbled back.

"What the hell, Kuwabara? I'm trying to help." Yusuke yelled, even more aggravated.

Kuwabara seemed to not be paying any attention. He pushed himself off the floor with all the strength he could and summoned his spirit sword, wasting no time as he came charging towards Yusuke, swung his sword at him and missed as Yusuke easily leaped out of the way. Kuwabara fell on his knees. He was in a worse condition than he thought; he was already sweating and his body was already feverishly boiling up with exhaustion.

Once again, he was pushing himself up on trembling legs and he then took his stance; spirit sword still summoned and in offensive mode.

"As much as I want to kick your ass for disappearing and worrying everyone to death, this just isn't how I imagined it." Yusuke yelled from around seven yards away, past the loud music.

Yusuke didn't know what he expected to see when he came down to the club after hearing word that Kuwabara was going to be there. He imagined a yahoo Kuwabara. He imagined a drunken Kuwabara. He might have even imagined a depressed Kuwabara sitting by himself at the bar. He didn't expect a withered away, drugged, sick one. He felt guilty. He wondered if he hadn't been pushed into finding him how long Kuwabara would have gone without help. But that wasn't important now. All he knew was that he was somehow going to right this wrong. If only he could convince Kuwabara to go home.

People around them where now starting to notice the small racket they were making and a couple of them had stopped whatever they were doing and turned to look at them.

"I don't feel like fighting tonight."Yusuke said at seeing his angry friend looking like he was running a 110 fever and two seconds from puking his guts out. "C'mon, we'll save this for another time. Let's just go home."

"Not tonight." Kuwabara said breathing greedily as he glared back at Yusuke.

"Yeah, tonight." Yusuke countered, glaring back at Kuwabara with the same intensity, unaware of the promise Kuwabara had made Sui earlier that evening just like Kuwabara was unaware of the promise Yusuke had made Shizuru.

Kuwabara just needed this night to be free from it all before he complied with the promise of returning on his own accord. But he failed to mention the promise to Yusuke. He was just in no mood to beg and Yusuke wasn't ready to let this go.

"I'm not kidding, Urameshi, not tonight."

"Oh, yeah. Definitely tonight. Even if it means you over my shoulder, kicking and screaming."

"Be a friend for once…"

"I'm doing this all for you."

"…and leave me the fuck be!"

"Not happening."

Kuwabara's patience was running thin and it killed him to know that Yusuke probably would have no problem carrying him out of here kicking and screaming, just like he said, and he hoped it wouldn't get down to that.

"I need this." Kuwabara confessed under a shaky, breathless voice, threading his boundaries. He was now becoming almost desperate enough to beg.

"You need help. Don't tell me this isn't a desperate cry for help, because it is."

"This isn't a desperate cry for help." Kuwabara said jadedly. He was feeling a little lightheaded and his vision blurred for a second.

A second was all it took. Yusuke stepped in towards Kuwabara ready to catch him just in case Kuwabara decided to faint after all. But he halted at seeing Kuwabara bring his sword up defensively.

"I just want to get you home." Yusuke told him earnestly looking back at him with worry.

"I said no, Urameshi." Kuwabara barely said. "Not without a fight."He was losing spirit. "I need this."He blinked away the fatigue that was washing over him.

Yusuke furrowed his brows and he too took an offensive stance. "Okay, but don't say I didn't warn you."

They both started to circle in the same direction, each one concentrating on the other as they did.

"Fight!" Someone from the crowd yelled causing more people to turn and notice.

"Give me all you've got." Kuwabara challenged.

Yusuke pulled up his arm to shoulder height and pointed his spirit gun at him. He seemed a little hesitant for a while and Kuwabara just looked back at him with anticipation, panting deeply.

Finally, Yusuke gathered some of his spirit energy into his index finger and aimed it directly towards Kuwabara. "Last warning."

"Just fucking do it already."

"SPIRIT GUN!"

Kuwabara's vision blurred again but he still had a sense of where Yusuke's energy blast was and he moved over to one side but it wasn't enough. The edge of that blast hit him square on the shoulder and Kuwabara groaned as the pain radiated down his body and he landed on his back on a cleared out space, void of the crowds that was once there.

People had now made a circle around them and most of everyone had their eyes on them until Yusuke's stray spirit blast hit a pillar, breaking it in two, and everyone turned their attention to it. Many scram in panic after it came crashing down and the crowds were now scurrying to the exits.

Kuwabara was hugging his shoulder. The blast had burned a whole through his shirt where it had hit and he could see blotches of red where raw flesh was revealed. He groaned at the pain as he pushed his body to lie back on the floor, making himself take a breather and relax.

_Step one – push the pain away. _

_Step two – get back up._

He calmly counted his breath before willing himself to get back up. It was turning out to be harder than he expected.

"C'mon, Kuwabara. Get up! I thought you wanted this." Yusuke shouted. But Kuwabara was exhausted beyond imagined and feeling the cool floor under his burning skin was almost enough to keep him there. Until, out of the corner of his eye he saw something blue twinkle at him. He turned to see and it was the missing diamond.

He quickly flopped over on his stomach and made to reach for it and to his surprise a blast was shot near the diamond and it disappeared from view. A hand was once again on his shoulder, turning him over and quickly a blow to his jaw. He was back facing the floor, panting hard for air, sweat dripping from every pore in his body and he could taste a hint of metal in his mouth. Kuwabara could still feel Yusuke nearby. Without giving it a second thought he once again summoned his spirit sword and Yusuke was caught off guard as Kuwabara made a direct hit with his spirit sword, slashing Yusuke's flesh open just on his abdomen.

Yusuke backed off a bit, giving Kuwabara room to get back on his feet. Kuwabara once again charged and swung his sword at Yusuke but Yusuke jumped back, and still at full speed, Kuwabara kept swinging and Yusuke kept jumping back until Yusuke was backed against a pillar and he used it to push himself out of the way causing Kuwabara to slice it in half and the pillar came tumbling down, smashing loudly to pieces as it kissed the floor.

They now stood around 15 yards apart. Kuwabara panted heavily still and Yusuke seemed pretty unscathed except for his torn shirt and the bleeding wound underneath.

"Ready to go home?" Yusuke asked his exhausted friend.

But Kuwabara was once again not paying attention. His eyes had just landed on the blue twinkle just a couple yards behind Yusuke and he was just now conceiving a plan in his head on how to retrieve it. He once again charged at Yusuke, spirit sword held up and ready to attack.

Yusuke saw this and he was ready to shield it but to his surprise Kuwabara's sword disappeared from his fist and Kuwabara fell on his knees sliding past Yusuke just inches away and without wasting any time he was once again on his feet running towards the blue diamond.

Kuwabara was very close to the blue plastic speck and was just about to leap for it when he was suddenly tackled from behind and he rolled on the floor a couple of time before finally landing flat on his belly. He growled in frustration when he was again regaining his sense of space but to his relief the diamond was just at arms' reach from him.

This time, he didn't even get a chance to reach for it as he was once again flipped over and his arms where held down at each side of his head by two strong hands.

"Okay, you've had your fun. Now, we're going home. If I kick your ass any more I'm going to have some explaining to do to some very scary ladies. And believe me when I say this - this is just not worth it." Yusuke said and Kuwabara looked up at him angrily. "Let it go, Kuwabara. It's already over. Quit fighting me. I'm not the enemy. I'm your friend and I want to help."

"Let go of me." Kuwabara said squeezing a leg between them and he managed to push Yusuke off with surprising ease. He still wasn't planning on leaving tonight hand in hand with Yusuke. His plans involved one person and one person only – Sui. He only had time to crawl over to the diamond and seize it before more than just two hands where on him. Every part of him was suddenly shoved down to the floor. The air in his chest was being squeezed out by the amount of weight that was on him, and his hips were painfully being grinded to the floor. He let go of an anguished groan as his arms were forced together and bound behind his back and before he knew it he was off the floor being led out by an escort of two well acquainted men, both dressed in casual dressing, the detectives faces grinned at him. People crowded at a distance, watching with amusement and some with fear as they shoved his sweating, panting body towards the exit.

But Kuwabara didn't notice any of that. He looked over his shoulder to look back at Yusuke. To see how he was, to see if he was alright. Had they caught him, too? And all that changed when he spotted him glaring back at him. He stood with his hand on his hips, legs apart, looking back at him with a look triumph in his eye as if he had once again beat him in another street brawl.

He could feel the detective's fingers digging into his arms, bruising his flesh – probably afraid that he will somehow release himself from them but he was too deep in shock to even react to the deep stinging feeling of betrayal he felt from Yusuke.

He tried gulping down the knot that formed at his throat never breaking eye contact with Yusuke. Kuwabara almost expected Yusuke would break him lose from the men standing at either sides of him, almost expected he would help him. But he didn't, he didn't even move, he didn't even try. And he could help think that Hiei would have.


	15. Silent Screams

Authors Notes: IT MY BIRTHDAY!!! Hahahahahahahaha…

So here's my birthday gift to you all… and my twin sister, but she doesn't count. Hahahahahahahahaha… fun!

ACABILLION THANKS to all my lovely reviews. Love them, wouldn't have made it this far without them.

YuYulover: Thanks for the review… it made me laugh. Yes it gave me the giggles… and ding ding ding! Your review is the forty-sixth review! You get a prize, cuz it's my lucky number. Don't know why I noticed… here's some birthday cake!

Anime's-mistress: His life does seem to be getting worse, but I'll try to make it better! Promise! :) … Unless you don't want me to. Wuahahahah…

VampireRubi89: Here's some more goodness…

Blackrose: Thanks for the review. Hopefully my story is getting better instead of getting worse. Hopefully. But ya'll be the judge of that!

And with no more further ado, here you are…

Enjoy! 3

Chapter 15: Silent Screams

"What happened? Please tell me detective. I'm still his legal guardian and only living relative. I have the right to know." Shizuru told one of the two men that she knew was assigned to her brother's case.

"Atsushi. Call me Atsushi." He said cocking an eyebrow up at her, and if she wasn't mistaken she would say that he was flirting with her.

"Okay. Atsushi, I just want to know what happened to my brother." She said suggestively moving in a little close, knowing her own limits, and perking up her chest.

The detective gave her a quick look-over before answering cheaply, "Okay, miss. I'll tell you just because you seem like a good person and I'm not such a bad person myself either." He told her as-in-matter- of- factly winking an eye at her and Shizuru gave him an 'are you serious' look. "He was taken to the hospital." The officer finally confessed running his fingers through his blond hair making his biceps flex with his movements and Shizuru was reminded of one of those guys who act like they're studs when in all actuality they're really not.

"Hospital? Why? What's wrong with him?" Shizuru asked not betraying her feelings of nervousness at hearing the news.

"He was running a fever, I think. He looked just like the average junky to me. Even he said he was fine, but my partner said otherwise. So naturally I was an upstanding federal leader of this great city and allowed him a trip to the hospital. You know, just part of my duty." He said giving her a cheesy smile and leaning in close.

"Well thank you detective for you time." She said turning around and began to make her way out.

"But I don't suggest you go and try to visit him. They probably won't let you see him till he starts talking. You know your brother wasn't exactly being a great model for behaved delinquents." He called out after her as she kept walking. "He wouldn't let anyone lay a finger on him. You'd think he'd have rabies or something like that."

Shizuru gave the man a dangerous look over her shoulder, which practically made the detective's heart stop and melt to the floor. "And what would you suggest I do?"

"W… w… well." He stuttered as she once again approached him, leaning in close and sliding her fingers down his tie, innocently, giving him the smallest of suggestion that he even had a chance.

"I can get you through, sneak in a couple of minutes alone with him." He said gaining control of himself again.

"You'd do that for me?" She asked fixing his tie up a bit.

"A pretty lady like you. Of course I will." He said pushing back a strand of her hazelnut hair from her shoulders.

"No strings attached?"

"Well, I was thinking after maybe _we_ could have a couple of minutes alone."

She was now finished with his tie and looked up at him leaning in close to his ear and whispered. "Not a chance in hell." Before calmly walking out, leaving the detective mouth gapped.

As soon as she stepped out she was immediately greeted by Kurama, Yusuke, and Keiko who were waiting patiently for her return.

"Is he okay? Did they say anything about him?" Keiko quickly said as she grabbed one of Shizuru's hands and held it in between her own for emotional support, which Shizuru was just fine without, but it was good to know she had some.

"He's at the hospital." Shizuru informed them.

"Yusuke, what did you do to him?" Keiko said turning to look at him and smacking him a couple of times on the arm.

"Ouw." He cried out. "It's not my fault he was being so stubborn. Besides, it wasn't that bad. Just a couple of swings, the usual." He excused.

"What now?" Keiko asked looking back at Shizuru who looked deep in thought and out of the loop.

"I say we go get a couple of cheese burgers, I'm sure he'll still be there tomorrow." Yusuke said rubbing his belly as it grumbled.

"No, we go visit him at the hospital." Kurama said and Shizuru looked up at him gratefully.

"Now? What's the point? I doubt they'll let us see him." Yusuke said a little less then unenthusiastic. He never did mind playing the hero, but even a hero had to eat and sleep he figured and he felt that tonight he did more then his share of saving.

"No, but as long as Shizuru is still the legal guardian we can at least figure out what he's doing there. Last I checked they only took people to the hospital when they're sick or badly hurt. I'm curious to know which of the two."

"Or maybe both." Keiko added, looking at Yusuke accusingly.

"I didn't hurt him that bad but now that you mention it he did look really skinny and kind of sick." Yusuke said thinking back. "He looked like he was using some heavy drugs. I don't know…" He said giving in to a yawn.

"Drugs? But Kuwabara would never even get nears that kind of stuff, much less use it." Keiko added.

"Step a day in his shoes. His life has changed dramatically. How would you react?" Kurama asked her, giving her a second to think about it.

"Well, I don't know how I'd react. But I don't think I'd runaway and start using drugs."

"Whatever. I'm going to bed." Yusuke announced.

"Aren't you even slightly worried?" Keiko asked pulling him back from his retreat with a powered tug.

Yusuke groaned. "Well, I don't know why he has to be such a baby about it. Why couldn't he just tell us instead of making us go through all of this? You know." Yusuke said sleepily.

"C'mon, Yusuke. He's proud. You of all people know that. Why would he tell us about one of the weakest moments in his life?" Shizuru retorted.

"I wouldn't have cared. I wouldn't have seen him any different. I don't see him any different."

"You think we see him different. Like what?" Shizuru responded at the feeling of being accused and she crossed her arms over her chest in challenge.

"Nothing. Forget it. So let's get this over with already. How long can a quick word with the doc possibly take?" He grouched. "So what's the verdict, smarty-pants, my beating or drugs?"

Kurama looked up from his small trance that led his eyes to the pavement under his feet. Assuming Yusuke was referring to him he responded. "I doubt it was either." He announced smoothly. "I don't think Yusuke hurt him that bad, I'm sure that by now he has learned how to control his own strength." Kurama said giving a glance over Yusuke's way. Who was now leaning against a brick wall and he noticed that his words seemed to lessen his temper. Yusuke's shoulder slumped and relaxed from how tightly he had them crossed over his chest. "And I don't think they would be considerate enough to assist Kuwabara through this if it was about an appending addiction." Kurama continued scanning through the rest of the faces ending at the tree at the far side of the gang and quickly centered back in. "This is something else, something immediate that had to be dealt with this vary night, something that couldn't be put off till tomorrow morning."

"Geez, Kurama. What do you do for fun?" Yusuke asked scratching his head and ogling Kurama for his well thought out brainstorm, but his agitation had not worn off though it had worn down.

Kurama gave him a small smile and looked back up at the tree that stood no more than a couple of yard away. "Hiei, you could join us if you'd like instead of hiding in that tree."

It took some time but eventually Hiei jumped out of his hiding spot.

"Hey, Hiei, what bring you here to this side of town?" Yusuke said lightly smacking him once on the shoulder, his anger had vanished, and he was apparently the only one who actually seemed glad to see him. At some level he felt that he shared the same feel for the world as Hiei and he didn't deny that seeing a new face did lighted things up for him making Hiei's presence all the more welcomed.

"I got bored." Hiei bitterly announced.

"Oh yeah, well, were have you been? We've been needing that extra third eye of yours."

"You must have me confused if you think I'm one of your buddies you can simply ask favors from and I will unquestionable comply. Haven't you ever heard of _an eye for an eye_?"

"Okay, grouchy pants, I did have a bucket of ice cream sitting at home for two weeks waiting for someone to devour it but I guess you didn't want it." Yusuke said smiling big at Hiei and Hiei growled at him.

It did feel like a breath of fresh air to Yusuke.

"We're heading down to the hospital to see if Kuwabara alright. Do you want to come?" Kurama politely invited.

To everyone's surprise Hiei remained silence as he pondered his options instead of snarling out his well expected _No way I'm going over to a human slaughter house to visit that ill mannered fool _Or something like that.

But whether they knew or not, Hiei was planning on coming along anyways. He had heard the whole conversation and he himself was riddle with curiosity. Hiei looked from Shizuru to Keiko to Kurama before he finally coolly answered. "Sure." And he could feel yet another pat on his back coming from Yusuke.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"Strap his hands down." Kuwabara heard a voice say from somewhere around him. "We don't want him to push us away or to pull the tube out."

Kuwabara felt someone grab him by both wrist and suddenly he's unable to lift his arms. But he kept one of his fists tightly closed; he knew he was holding something he didn't want to lose. No matter what happened he wasn't going to lose it. But he knew he had to stay awake or his hand will eventually loosen up and open without him knowing and as long as he didn't fall asleep he was confident that he wouldn't let that happen.

But no matter how much he fought of the fatigue his body wanted to disobey him. He felt exhausted and feverish and all he wanted to do was rest and he knew all he could do was to desperately fight for consciously.

The room was absolutely unfocused around him and the only thing that his eyes could pick up was the brightness of it. He looked at one side of him and he could see some figures moving around but every once in a while they would disappear into the brightness. His eyes stung with unshed tears that burned as he strained his eyes to see.

"We won't know the extent of the damage but with a couple of test we will be able to see how long since it was ingested and then assign whatever kind of treatment we are going to put him in."

"Lets just hope he survives tonight, first."

Kuwabara felt two hands pry his mouth open and suddenly he could feel something slugging down his throat. He tried to spit it out but it was no use, the thing being pushed was a long thin solid mass and there were too many other variables that prevented him from being able to stop its progress.

He could feel a couple of tears trickle down his cheeks as the thing moved unnervingly further and further down.

Suddenly he could feel his stomach begin to bloat like water in a balloon. He made to pull away the hand that was harshly holding his chin firmly still but his hands still could not budge one bit. It frightened him the lack of control he had, and he feared the hands all around him that held him down and he feared his lack of knowledge of what was being done.

Kuwabara began to wiggle his arms to slip free from his restraints and kick his legs at any one figure that he could to ward them away. He managed to make contact with one of the blurry figures and kicked it away.

"Strap his legs down. I think he just might make it. It looks like he still has some fight in him." He heard someone say.

And just then he felt some pressure on his legs and sure enough they were unmovable as well.

He felt sick and helpless. And what frustrated him more than anything about this situation was that he was unable to move and without movement he could not defend himself.

He needed to defend himself.

His body trembled as he fought against the restraints and his one fist remained tightly closed. It was hard to keep himself from freaking out. His heart beat raced and pounded in his chest and his breathing was quick and shallow, and all those figures around him made him feel breathless - scared.

Just when he was sure that their intent was to kill him or do something worse, he started to heave and before he knew it he no longer was strapped down but turned over and puking the contents that a human piñata at a place like this would hurl out. All liquid. All disgusting. All confusing.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"Hi, I'm looking for my brother, Kazuma Kuwabara." Shizuru calmly told the nurse at the front counter of the hospital. Yusuke, Keiko, Kurama and Hiei were all patiently standing behind her.

"Mr. Kazuma Kuwabara." The nurse repeated for confirmation as she looked up the information in her computer. "Ah, here we are. Are you a legal guardian?"

"Yes."

"And they are?" The nurse asked referring to the bunch standing behind Shizuru.

"They are… friends." She unconfidently announced, she wasn't sure if she should pretend that they were also family. But looking into their faces she couldn't help think what a strange family they might appear to be. So she went for the next best thing.

"Very good friend of Kazuma Kuwabara." Kurama added.

"Well, very good friend of Kazuma Kuwabara, could you please wait in the waiting room..." She smiled sweetly.

"Um, will I be able to see him?" Shizuru asked politely.

"I'm afraid not, direct orders. But as his legal guardian, you can speak to the doctor working his case."

"Figures." Shizuru said under her breath.

"Beg your pardon."

"Oh, nothing. How long till I can speak to him?" Shizuru said giving the nurse her best winning smile.

"I would say 30 minutes to an hour." The nurse said and before Shizuru could protest the nurse began again. "You and the rest can take a seat I will be back to inform the doctor you wish to speak to him." And she got up and left and Shizuru couldn't hold back from glaring at the back of the nurse's head. She just wished she had laser eyes.

"See you guys tomorrow." Yusuke called out waving a hand over his shoulder but immediately halted at the sight of Keiko, who had her arms over her chest and glaring at him menacingly.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"It's kind of stupid if we all stayed here to speak to the doctor if we can't even see him. So, I'm gonna go home and catch some Z's. I've kinda had a long night." He said finishing with a big yawn and stretching his arms over his head.

"We've all had a long night." Keiko said. "Beside if you want to take a nap you can take one here." She grabbed him by the hand and led him to the waiting room and Yusuke growled under his breath.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"You're okay, son." He heard someone say as he was patted in the back somewhat comfortingly.

Kuwabara moved his hand down to his aching stomach holding it there as he felt himself convulse into another puking frenzy; the last of the contents in his stomach was finally being emptied out. When that one was over with, too, he felt the hand at his back rub at it soothingly, almost hypnotically, and he could fall asleep to it. But he's had enough. He doesn't even know what's happening and instinctively he pushed the hand away.

"Easy there." The voice spoke again and he heard the foots steps of other people move about him and move out of the brightness to make their own blurred figure.

He shifted a bit and everyone else moved too in unison. He could see them slowly move in closer toward him and he could hear himself lightly panting for air. His heart beat was rapid and he tightly squeezed his hand around the object in his fist to calm his nerves a bit.

He felt someone grab him by the arm from behind and he blindly turned and pushed it away, then another by the other arm and he pushed that one away as well, and then a couple grabbed him by the legs and he kicked them away and before he knew it he was seized from all sided and he let go of an agonized scream as he kept trying to fight them away.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Yusuke fidgeted his legs from side to side impatiently. He looked around the waiting room and they appeared to be the only ones there. Which would make sense since it was past midnight and who in the right mind would want to be here when they could be somewhere else - anywhere else for that matter.

He shifted a bit on his seat; his ass was getting sore from sitting there for too long. He glanced over to Kurama who was patiently – unlike himself - flipping through a magazine, then over to Keiko and Shizuru who sat side by side and he could help roll his eyes, not at them in particular. He just never had any tolerance for waiting. Not being able to take it anymore he got up and was beginning to make his way out of the waiting room.

"Yusuke, where are you going?" Keiko asked innocently.

"Find out what's taking so long."

"Yusuke!" Keiko cried out in disapproval. "It hasn't even been 30 minutes yet."

"I'm just kidding. I'm just going to check if the vending machine has anything good." He lied hoping it wasn't too late for them to take the bait.

Hiei eyed him for a while and then too got up and fallowed Yusuke out and this time only Kurama noticed, but he remained silent.

They both quietly approached the front counter. "Hi there." Yusuke said to the nurse who was almost startled off her seat

"Hi. How can I help you?" She said looking up at him, straightening her glasses.

"Well, you see. I kind of lost track of time." He said.

"Okay, so you're wondering what time it is. It's…"

"No, more like, when's the doctor going to stop by and say hello?" He grouchily made it clear for her. "We've been waiting forever."

"I'm sorry sir, the doctor is currently busy."

Just then a distant scream echoed through the hall and all three turned to look at the direction of its origin.

"Okay, miss. Thank you a lot for your help, we'll just be going to the vending machine, now. Kinda just got the munchies." He said distractively, waving past her as he started for the direction of the scream.

"Um, sir. The vending machines are the other way." The nurse corrected looking at him with suspicion.

Yusuke turned to the nursed and laughed nervously and began to go the other direction. "Oh, my bad." He said as he waved by, fallowed by Hiei who glared at the nurse.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"Did you hear that?" Shizuru said after she heard something that sounded like a scream.

"Yeah, it sounded like Kuwabara." Keiko said from beside her.

"I'll be right back." Kurama said as he stood to leave the waiting room. "I'm a little thirsty." He briefly excused.

Shizuru and Keiko looked at him skeptically as he left.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Kuwabara was backed into a corner; he could feel both side of the room at his back, his clammy hands were firmly against the walls.

"Call in the orderlies. We might need help with..." He heard them say but as they continued talking their voices turned into a high pitch ringing in his ears. From the corner of his eyes he saw three or four more blurs come into the picture and they were quickly nearing him. He desperately took in some air as his heart pumped uncontrollably against his chest.

As he felt someone touch him he yelled. "_Stop. Stop_." But instead of hearing his own voice the ringing in his ear had vanished and he couldn't hear anything, anymore.

He opened his eyes to see that all the blurs had stilled but that didn't help to calm him. Not only could he not see, he could no longer hear, either. He saw one inch closer and he pulled up his hand defensively to keep every one at a distance, but as he looked at the blur that he assumed was his hand he couldn't help but freak out a little more.

Then another one stepped in closer and he yelled once again. "_Stop!" _ But still nothing. He couldn't hear his voice. His heart pumped hard and fast and he was sure it was bound to make his head explode. His body trembled, his limbs hurt, his head pounded at the rhythm of his racing heart. Two more stepped in and he wanted them to go away. To, "_stay away!_" And he was sure he told them but he couldn't hear his voice. Maybe he wasn't saying anything at all, maybe he wasn't talking loud enough. He had to make it clear that he wanted them away, far away.

"_Stop!" _He attempted to yell. "_Stop! Stay away!"_ But they weren't listening to his command and they only seemed to close in as if they couldn't hear him either.

He couldn't take this anymore. He was so confused, frightened, trapped. He hated to admit that he needed help - he wanted help - someone to rescue him from this, he was desperate to leave this hell.

He crouched further down the wall, his hands over his head as tears traced down his face. He took in a deep breath and gapped his mouth open as he desperately attempted to scream not stopping until he had run out of air. But there was not a trace of his voice anywhere, no traces of his screams filtering into his ear, nothing but the overwhelming feeling of fear that buried its self further and further into him making him feel empty, lost - hopeless.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Another scream echoed through the hall, but this time it was closer than before. That only meant that they were nearing in.

"See, this is why I hate hospitals. They give me the creeps." Yusuke confessed to Hiei, his only companion down the eerily empty halls.

"Hospital's are for fools that can't cure themselves." Hiei hissed and Yusuke raised an eyebrow.

They both froze on the spot when they heard footsteps and voices down the hall. At the far end they saw a group of men appear from one side and disappear to the next. They never noticed Yusuke and Hiei during their haste.

Once gone, they move further down the hall turning the corner at the direction they had just saw the group running towards. Whoever they were, they would probably lead them to Kuwabara.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Kurama fallowed the trails of energy Yusuke and Hiei left behind. As he did he halted at his tracks as a long dragged out scream came his way and then he quickly picked up on a familiar energy - an energy that matched that of the scream - one of deep despair.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"That's my brother." Shizuru said as she paced back and forth in the waiting room after hearing another disturbing noise.

"Shizuru calm down." Keiko told her, feeling a little edgy at seeing her like that.

"My baby brother needs me." She continued not paying attention to Keiko.

"You're making me dizzy. Shizuru, sit, please." Keiko begged.

"What are taking those boys so long, anyways?"

"I don't know. Maybe they go lost."

"I seriously doubt that. I think they went to go and be heroes without us… again. C'mon, let's go." Shizuru said as she got hold of Keiko's wrist and pulled her up on her feet, hastily leading her out of the waiting room.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Everyone kept at a distance for a while but eventually a group of orderlies picked him up from that corner and moved him to lay on a gurney. They had a hard time trying to hold him down as his flailing limbs flew at all sides kicking and pushing everyone and everything off.

Eventually, they had him almost strapped down once again and a pair of hands was desperately trying to pry his tightly closed fist open.

In the midst of Kuwabara's struggle and fear a face popped in his head; the one who let him down, the one who let them do this to him. The one with the brown eyes who glared at him as he was being lead away, out of that club - out of his freedom – with that look of triumph that he has now come to hate. He had not understood then why he didn't come and help him, why he was letting them take him, but now he understood. Yusuke was never on his side, he was working with them, working to bring him down.

Kuwabara could feel the anger boiling up in him. His muscles pulled on the restraints; pulled with everything he had.

And in his mind he could only see those eyes. The longer they looked back at him the angrier it made him. The next time he saw those eyes, the next time he saw him he would kill him for what he did to him – for what he had betrayed. That was a promise.

The guy who was trying to pry his hand open never succeeded but did manage to slip his grip on Kuwabara's wrist and Kuwabara's fist went flying up to his face, knocking the guy out. Kuwabara desperately and quickly felt for his other hand that was tightly strapped down and blindly tried to undo its restraints. He could feel the tip of his fingers prickle and go numb as they rubbed against the leather. This sensation slowly traveled up his arms and legs and eventually he could no longer feel what he was doing or if he even was touching anything at all.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

As Yusuke and Hiei approached the end of the hallway they could no longer hear the eerie screams but they no longer needed it to guide them. They had found him. They stood in front of the glass door and through it they could see a struggling Kuwabara fighting against the numbered orderlies.

"Should we help?" Yusuke asked.

"Which one?" Hiei responded as they both looked with surprised amusement.

"Who the fuck is this kid?" One of the men inside said.

"I heard he was a street fighter."

Everyone was sweating with exhaustion and groaning as they pushed Kuwabara's limbs down. Then Kuwabara managed to punch someone on the face.

Yusuke took a step forward – his intent to go in there and help at seeing the man fall unconscious to the floor, to him those men needed help from Kuwabara – but quickly Hiei stopped him before he could push through the doors. Yusuke's eyes remained on Kuwabara as Kuwabara pushed over on one side, visibly trying to release the rest of his trapped limbs. Struggling as his fingers fumbled on the restraints. It was clear to see that something wasn't right with him – he was struggling with his restraints more then he should have.

"But look at the size of him. He practically ways as much as my teenage daughter. You'd think these fully grown men would be able to handle him with no problem." The guy who looked like the leading doctor angrily said.

"We're trying our best, chief."

"Hold him down. There's only one way to do this." The doctor said as he turned his back to everyone and began fiddling with something out of eye's reach; while he did that an orderly struck Kuwabara harshly on the jaw with his fist and blood seeped down Kuwabara's jaw as Kuwabara brought thin, long, shaking finger to his face. He was panting with exhaustion, and panted with weakness, and it was easy to see that had not expected that and that he had become pretty disoriented after that blow to the face. His broken, malnourished body looked fragile and vulnerable at the hands of those men.

Hiei took two steps forward, moving ahead of Yusuke – his intent to go in there and slice those men to tiny pieces, to him Kuwabara needed help from those men – but at hearing the cling of Hiei's sword Yusuke stretched out his hand and held Hiei back by the shoulder, stopping him before he could move any further. Hiei's eyes remained on Kuwabara as the orderlies succeeded on holding him still and the doctor approached with a syringe in hand and stabbed it in Kuwabara's wiggling, straining arm and slowly Kuwabara calmed down. His eyes fluttered shut as if fighting off whatever was stabbed in him and then his fist relaxed and opened up, letting go of something and it silently fell to the ground.

The orderlies and the doctor didn't notice the object as they pushed the gurney out the room with Kuwabara safely and unconsciously on it nor did Yusuke as he pulled Hiei to hide behind the door as they swung open and the staff made their way out, but Hiei had.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Kurama heard the squealing of wheels coming his way and he pushed himself against the wall and from a distance he saw a group of men appear and disappear from sight as they moved down the perpendicular hall. Noting that they had not spotted him he kept going and turned the corner from where they had appeared, sensing Yusuke's and Hiei's spiritual energy coming from that direction.

From where he was he could hear the familiar voices of his two teammate's arguing.

"Why don't you choose a side and stick to it, Detective?" Hiei's voice said.

"What the fuck is that suppose to mean?"

"What do you think it mean? You say you're his friend and you turned him in to these people. What do you know about them besides that they use scalpels to cut you open while you sleep?"

"They're medical doctor, what the fuck do you think they're going to do to him? Sell his organ's in the black market?"

"You put too much trust on people you don't even know. You saw what they did already, they hit him and you did nothing."

"Hello… I'm not sure if you noticed but Kuwabara got a really good punch in there, too. Besides, Kuwabara needs help and I'm pretty sure that I'm and everyone else I know can't get him the kind of help he needs."

"So, you're saying he needs a stranger, someone that knows nothing about him other then what's written on a piece of paper. Detective, you are stupider then I thought."

"That's not what I'm saying but these people got libraries full of books on how to handle shit like this. If anyone got at least one clue of what they're doing it's them. Besides they figured out what was wrong with him, maybe they can figure out how to cure him."

"Cure him? You are worse of then I thought."

"What the fuck do you know, Hiei?"

"He's not your friend, anymore. Look at him, he's changed."

"For having three eyes, Hiei, you're sure as hell blind because all I see is my friend in there. All I saw was Kuwabara. NOT anyone ELSE… I know Kuwabara. I know him better then you. I know that he'll make it through this and no matter how long this whatever takes, I don't care that it takes till he's wrinkled and old, he'll be back and getting in my nerves and saying the stupidest shit and I'll still be here and I'll still be his friend and I'll be there for him every step of the FUCKING way, because he's MY FRIEND… and because I know he's STRONG."

"No human's that strong… he's already falling apart. I know you see it too. He's different from me and you, and you know that, Yusuke. I can tell by the way you look at him. Tell me, why are you so protective of him? Is it because you know he can't defend himself? Is it because you know he's not strong enough? He's never been strong to you. He's been anything but…"

"Shut up, Hiei. You don't know what you're saying."

"He's like a cripple. He just has that human handicap, doesn't he?"

"Shut up, Hiei."

"You refuse to acknowledge him for what he truly is… just a being with a short, weak existence and no matter what you do you can't protect him…"

"SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!

"…"

"…"

"Who's down there?" A voice from down the hall was heard saying. "Show yourself."

After a while of just glaring at one another, waiting for the other to make the first move, Hiei backed down and moved into the shadows with an unreadable neutral expression. They heard the footsteps near but all Yusuke wanted to do was to tear Hiei from limb to limb; he looked ready to make something explode, anything. Finally turning around, Yusuke disappeared down the halls.

The orderly came by a couple of seconds later and after checking that everything was clear he went back from where he came from and Hiei moved out of the darkness. His eyes landed on the floor of the room just at the other side of the glass doors. He had not forgotten of the fallen object.

Without giving it a second thought, he walked through the doors and crouched down to pick up the little blue plastic diamond that laid pathetically by its loathsome self. He turned it around on his finger, twisting it back and forth as he observed the cheap little imitation of something precious with his brows furrowed in disgust.

"You underestimate Kuwabara, he's stronger then he seems. He might just one day surprise you." He heard a voice from behind him say.

"Stay out of this, fox boy." Hiei immediately hissed.

"I strongly caution you to think things through, Hiei. You're playing with fire that's just a little out of your league. You just might end up getting burned." Kurama delicately cautioned. He didn't know exactly what Hiei was up to but he knew him enough to know when he had something stirring that could get him in deep trouble.

"Hn." Hiei said smiling to himself. He was aware of the serious repercussions. He was aware of the possibility of failure. He could stop now and come out with not even a trace on him, but he had just now moved a step closer to his goal. What better encouragement did he need to keep moving forward with his plans? "I'm not as simple-minded as you might think, fox. You can't play your mind games with me. You know nothing and pretending that you do won't get you anywhere." He looked over his shoulder to the calm and unexpressive features of the fox demon. "Don't know what gave you the idea that I was playing at anything."

"Hiei." Kurama called out as Hiei made to move. Hiei stopped his progress, giving Kurama a chance to speak his mind. "Hiei" Kurama began again not knowing how to go about this. "I don't want to see you get hurt." Kurama finally said, hopping that Hiei would listen to his sincere show of concern. He knew that Hiei wasn't exactly the most stable minded person. He knows he could do irrational thing at his own whim and no matter how damaged Kuwabara was Kuwabara had a whole lot of family and friends that would keep him safe. Keep him stable. Keep him from turning into someone or something else. As for Hiei, he was on his own, no one to look out for him. No one to keep him from falling. No one to catch him when he finally does come crashing down.

No response came from Hiei.

All Kurama could do was watch as he too disappeared.


	16. Thoughts of a Ghost

Soooooooooooooo sooooooooooooooo sooooooooooooo sorry for taking forever for an update. I had a terrible case of interfering real life and writer's block. I feel horrible. But, hey, at least I'm not dead. Right? Right? No… fine.

Hope I didn't do too bad with this chapter…

Chapter 16: Thoughts of a Ghost

"Yusuke." Kayko called out to Yusuke as she saw him march down the hall towards their direction, heavily stomping his feat on the floor as he did. "Yusuke, what happened? We heard yelling." She said exasperatingly.

"Stupid… stupid… what does he know?" He grumbled to himself, not even noticing as he neared the girls or the look they were giving him. "Nothing… nothing… He's wrong… damn it!" His fists were tightly clenched, arms and shoulders stiff and he kept his eyes down at his feet as they moved ahead of him one after the other.

"Looks like you're ready to send someone to their grave. Should I be worried?" Shizuru asked and Yusuke finally looked up at them his face twisted in anger. He didn't even bother to say something as he kept marching past them.

"Yusuke!" Kayko cried out angrily.

"Damn idiot…" He mumbled to himself again. "I'm leaving!" He finally announced and Kayko and Shizuru questionably glanced at one another before Kayko ran after him.

"Yusuke, what about Kuwabara?"

"He's fine…" He said as he kept marching.

"But, Yusuke, what about the doctor?" She continued hot on his trail.

"What about him?"

"We still haven't heard from him."

"Well, you don't need me for that," He almost yelled. "So I'm going home, 'kay?" He said still grouchy and Kayko halted at that and stomped her foot on ground irritably knowing that at his current mood nothing was going to stop him from getting his way.

After a while of glaring at the back of Yusuke's head she turned to faced Shizuru who had fallowed them in a slower pace. "Forget him, he's right, we don't need him." She said neutrally.

"Yeah, I guess, but sometimes I think he doesn't care." Kayko said sadly and sighed heavily.

"I'm sure he does. Guys just have a different way of showing it, which in my book is also the dumbest."

"I wonder what happened to make him explode like that…" Kayko mused still staring that the empty hall in which Yusuke had made his exit.

"Guy drama…" She said shrugging her shoulders and rolling her eyes.

"Well, he said Kuwabara was fine. That means he saw him, but I don't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing."

"You girls are not supposed to be here."

Kayko and Shizuru quickly spun around. The nurse from the front counter stood there with her hand on her hips, her brows furrowed and tapping annoyingly on the floor in disapproval.

"Ah, we got lost on our way to the ladies room." Kayko nervously said while Shizuru stood by her side unaffected by the fact that they had just been caught trespassing to the non visitor area. "Sorry it won't happen again."

The nurse stopped tapping the floor with her foot and just simply stared at them almost as if passing judgment. "Okay," She finally said, her features softening back to her rookie, naïve, young face. "Just ask for assistance next time you decide to wonder around. If the doctor found out you two slipped by me…" She added somewhat nervous herself. "Where are your very good friends, anyways?" She looked past them trying to see if she could spot them.

"They went home." Kayko quickly said. "They had a long day, you know..."

"Right…" The nurse said once again a little skeptical about them and she narrowed his eyes as she stared at them suspiciously.

"When will the doctor be out to speak to us?" Shizuru asked before the nurse could come-up with any plausible conclusion of the whereabouts of the rest of the gang. And it worked as the nurse's attention was immediately popped out of that bubble. Definitely a rookie.

"I'm sure it would be any second now, but it's best if you just wait for him in the waiting room." She answered with a smile. "Please." She nervously and politely added. Just then they heard footsteps and Shizuru and Kayko turned to look as a man wearing a lab coat walked towards them, patting at his forehead with a small paper towel.

The doctor finally looked up and for the first time acknowledged the three young women.

"Ah…" The nurse nervously began. "This is the women that wished to speak to you, Dr. Gima, about…"

"Yes, yes, I know." The doctor said waving a hand down at her, silencing the nurse. "Go back to your station. I'll handle it from here." The nurse obeyed and began to walk back. "What can I do for you ladies?" The doctor asked obviously worn out.

"I just want to know what's wrong with my brother." Shizuru said.

"Well, I'm sorry to tell you this but he has a strong drug dependency and before you ask me what you can do to help I'm just going to say right off the bat _nothing._"

"Save your breath, doctor. As much as I want to fight my case with you I know you won't bend the rules for someone like me and my brother but I still have some rights…"

"Then, how can I help you, miss?" The doctor said and the lines around his mouth became more defined as if he was rapidly aging right before them and it was easy to tell the impatience he had for them. The man looked ready to lay his head down on a pillow.

Shizuru let go of a heavy sigh, somewhat understanding the position the doctor was in, but she wished he would understand the one she was in as well. That she simply wasn't in danger of losing her practice but her brother. "Look, I just want to know what's wrong with him and how he's doing. I'm not asking to see him I just want to know if he's okay."

At seeing the small tears well up in Shizuru's eyes the doctor dropped a little of his guard, relaxing his shoulders a bit and he unconsciously rubbed at his temples, his palm crossing over his forehead as his index finger and thumb moved in tiny circles over his skin. "He ingested some sort of toxin, deadly toxin, and if we haven't have caught him when we did he would probably be dead by now." He stated.

"What? How?" Shizuru gasped out.

"We don't know how. That's something I would hope _he_ knows… either way, it could have been someone who sneaked it in his drink, which would be attempted murder, or he could have ingested it intentionally, which is attempted suicide."

"Is he fine?"

"Now, he's in stable conditions. The toxins will eventually be cleared from his body. We managed to pull as much out of his system before they did any serious damage to the organs. He felt the effects of it already, temporary blindness, deafness, and numbness but all that will eventually go back to normal. He still has a long way to break his dependency on the drugs but hopefully that soon will be solved, as well. So if you can, Miss Kuwabara, you and your friend go home. There's nothing much you can do for him standing here."

Without saying another word he slowly began to make his way down the hall and turned to open a door and disappeared into it.

* * *

In a matter of hours it had turned day. The sun shined through the window and the streets and hospital was now littered with people.

Through the crowds a slim inconspicuous figure walked past them down the halls. An ugly faded blue cap doubled in hiding her reddened eyes from sight and keeping her undercover. Blonde hair cascaded over small shoulders that, only hours before, couldn't stop trembling as uncontrollable tears forced their way out of her. She hated how she had lost control. She never lost control. She never shed tears for anyone besides her mother, and even then it had been years since. This would be the second time her body had won and made her weak for someone. But all that didn't matter now, she had not regretted a single drop but she now owed someone for bringing her back to life. And now she had to say goodbye because now that that someone had done her a favor it was her turn to return it, no matter how hard it was going to be.

Sui walked into a room that held Kuwabara resident with a bouquet of flowers that she held loosely in one arm; slowly she approached what she now considered her best friend. He laid sleeping on the hospital bed. She put the flowers down on a stand just to her side and went to stand by him. Unconscious of her movements, she raised a hand and ran her fingers through his ginger hair, fixing it a bit as it looked a little messy and when she though he looked better her hand slipped down his face, ending at his hollow cheeks and placed a thumb over his pale lips.

His warm skin almost blended in with the white hospital sheets the bed wore and he looked like a raccoon with the well defined circles incasing his reddened lids. But even though he looked one inch from death and far from the walking, he liked the way he looked when he slept; at peace, but she wished for him to wake. She had something to tell him and now was her only chance.

"Don't touch him." A stern unforgettable voice said from behind her. She slowly turned to face him, making sure that it hadn't of same like she had just been surprised, and just as she expected the little fire demon was present leaning up against a wall far into an inconspicuous corner. "I have warned you before about this." Hiei said his voice low and menacing. He picked himself of the wall and moved in close to her, his proximity threatening.

She looked away, feeling like he could possibly be right, that her place wasn't around Kuwabara. She had gotten him this far into this shit and maybe the short person standing before her was correct in feeling she should stay away – and she should, she just had to have this moment with him, she had to say goodbye. She moved her hand down to his and lightly gripped it, wanting to hold his and for him to hold hers back and not let her go – to not give her the option to go because she didn't want to leave, she didn't want to say goodbye.

Noting that she had not even made an attempt to leave Hiei placed a hand around her arm, holding on to it with a steal death grip and yanked her around so to face him - he had had enough of watching her touch him. "Leave before you make things worse." Hiei hissed at her.

And though she felt the truth of that sting her she could not help think that that statement had a double meaning for him - the way he held on to her arm and the way he looked at her, like she was the threat and he was the promise. Unknowingly she was gazing into Hiei's eyes and to that Hiei tightened his grip and she hissed out in pain. Her arm felt like it was going to be squeezed till it pulverized.

It was so strange seeing him here or just plainly seeing him. Kuwabara never mentioned him and thought Kuwabara never really said anything about his life or his friends it still didn't change the awkward feeling she got from the one standing before her. She could feel that he was something to awe, a threat, dark and she should stay away but he was also mysterious and she picked up on something that she also picked up on Kuwabara when they first had spoke – they had lost their way. But it was how they had lost their way that marked there difference.

An unexpected smile broke on her face. She let go of a small laugh, making Hiei release a growl within him. She stretched her neck and peeked over her shoulder towards Kuwabara's peaceful form, his chest rose and fell at the beet of the beeping machine next to him on the other side of the bed. "My mother use to cry every night." Sui softly began. "She cried because my father had died and she missed him… a lot. "

Hiei didn't know why he was listening when he really didn't care but something about her voice hypnotized him into it, like a good song playing in the radio.

"Then she met my step father. He was rich, charming, famous, everything that enable help her to let my father finally rest in peace. He was what she needed to end that chapter of her life, he was the one to rescue her and she fell hard for him.

"But she was wrong, he had not rescued her but lured her into his trap, imprisoning her, controlling her, dominating her." Sui turned her head back and looked deep into Hiei's eyes and this time Hiei didn't attempt to stop her.

"She was beautiful, caring, loving, free… You could almost understand why my step father would imprison her the way he did, he wanted her all to himself. He said he loved her but that wasn't love. One night she started to cry again. I figured it was because she still missed my father, but this time she wasn't crying because of his death… she cried for her own." Hiei's death grip slowly loosened up and Sui dared to close in the distance between them.

"My step father killed her without laying a finger on her." Her eyes were full of ice cold hate and Hiei didn't know if he wanted to kill her or kiss her. "She deserved to be happy. She deserved to be free. He took that away from her. She died way before her heart stopped beating." She stopped talking for a while and Hiei couldn't help look at her, her face was young and stunning and her piercing aqua eyes burned a hole through him almost as if she was directing her hate towards him. And the more he lingered around that feeling the more he wanted to take her, to make that anger submit to him, but he had felt that kind of hatred and anger before and he knew it was the kind that would die before submitting. He could feel her rapid breathes on his lips and the quick beating of her heart against his chest. Her lips smelled sweet and fruity and he could not hold himself back anymore. He harshly clashed lips with hers and at first she let him get his way, let him push himself on her, dig his thumbs into her shoulders – wanting to control her, wanting to dominate her but she wasn't having any of it - when she had had enough she deliberately bit down on his invasive lips and Hiei pushed away. "You're twisted, you know that?" She whispered. The hate that intrigued Hiei still in her voice making him flush with a sudden wave of heat that rapidly burned through his body.

A crimson drop fell from Hiei's swollen lip and Hiei smirked maliciously and brought his bottom lip into his mouth a bit to suck at the wound.

Sui turned to look at Kuwabara once again. His body still remained unresponsive, deep in sleep, and at bliss of what's going on around him and now that she had bought herself a little more time with him she had to do what she at first intended to do when she had stepped foot in the hospital.

Her hand was once again on his pale cheek and she took one good look at him before she bowed and lightly gave him a kiss on his lips as she fought back the tears. She did not want to go, she wanted to see him part his lids and see his brown eyes on her, again. She wanted to feel his hand on her waist and hear his voice tell her to stay because he needed her now just as much as she did him.

But he never woke and she finally parted from his lips, leaving them stained with the demon's blood.

Hiei watched her closely until she no longer inhabited the room and even after she was long gone he could still smell the sweet scent of the perfume on her lightly tanned skin lingering in the air and it made his stomach twist with anger by the fact that he had actually let himself enjoy, not only the mesmerizing aroma, but the kiss.

* * *

Hazy eyes blinked open, heavy shoulders refused to move. He tried to gulp but his throat hurt. It was dark. He could see nothing.

His mind was caught in a foggy tangled web of euphoria. He was lost within himself.

He felt around moving his hands slightly. His fingers spread over fabric like material. He felt warm. Protected. Safe.

Eyes were beginning to shut. His mind was beginning to fade into the background full of nothingness. He was comfortably alone. There was no one to wake him, no one to bring him down from this cloud. No one but the breeze keeping him company.

… _Poison…_

There was movement to his left. His eyes stung painfully at opening them.

"Mr. Kazuma?"

A nurse stood by his side.

"Doctor." She called out. "He's up."

Everything was a fog.

"Son, do you know where you are?" A man in a lab coat that now stood besides the nurse said. "Do you know what your name is?"

He could barely keep focus.

"Son?"

… _Inhale_…

Someone was speaking to him. He could barely make out the words. He could barely make them out from the rocks that were falling behind him.

The building was falling in on him. No, it was a distraction, he needed to focus on those words. What were they saying? Words harsh, voice familiar and untrustworthy.

He tried to make them out but the breaking and falling of material skewed his focus and he was lost consumed by the dark.

… _My poison…_

Light shone in from the window to his right, a small breeze blew at the translucent drapes gracefully.

Kuwabara looked up at a sturdy ceiling.

He felt sick, nauseated, anxious and nervous. He needed a fix. He needed one now and badly.

He took the moment assessing the room within his situation to release himself of the bindings electronically monitoring and regulating him till his eyes landed on a set of flowers lying next to him. He picked up the card from within the flowers.

_I'll miss you. Sui. _It read.

"Sui." He said to himself, testing out the reality of it all. "Sui." He said again. He had to find her.

"Mr. Kuwabara."

Kuwabara looked up to see a crowd of uniformed individual standing at his only way out.

"Mr. Kuwabara, you should rest."

"No." he protested. "I can't be here." He almost pleaded. "I have to go." He hated how his voice sounded; shaky and vulnerable.

"Mr. Kuwabara," they approached. "You need your rest."

"No." He needed to find her. "I have to be somewhere."

"It's okay. We'll take care of everything." They failed to comfort.

"No." It was over too quick and he failed her. Something was shot up through his arm and he was out.

… _You've been…_

The pounding of the ground had not gone away and he still felt sick and nauseous, confused and lost, unfocused and abstract. It felt like he had been walking for hours, and his voice had gone sore from yelling in the dark.

He called out for someone.

Could he not hear him? Could anyone hear him? How long exactly had he been here? Where exactly was he?

He heard the voice again like a harsh breeze. But the pounding continued through his unattainable concentration.

He walked till he could no more and fell on his knees. He sensed the feeling of drops drip of his skin to the ground but heard none almost as if they weren't there, or as if he wasn't there.

Could he have died and he have not known? He wondered. Was this the hell he was going to be put through for the rest of eternity?

"Yes." He heard someone say from behind. That familiar, untrustworthy voice. Had he heard his thoughts? Had he heard his please?

"You're lost, my boy." The voice confidently declared.

"My friend, I've lost him. Can you help me find him?" Kuwabara said. He couldn't feel the dirt beneath his hands, but he could feel his arms shake from beneath him.

"Your friend? Yes, he's my friend too." His voice chilled him to the bones.

"Do you know where he is?" Kuwabara asked desperately out of breath. "Please, I need to find him. I can't leave without him. Please."

"Leave? What's the hurry?" The voice said approaching as his feet crunched at the dirt beneath him. Dirt that had not made a sound for him. Dirt that had not existed for him. It all felt wrong and he wanted out.

"Please." A deep laughter echoed in his head and all around him.

Large, strong hands managed to grip him from his shoulders and he was forced to face his only companion in this dark isolation and what he saw tore at him. It was all too familiar. The red skin, his face, the black wings; the demon had closed the gap between them as he pressed his lips to his. His tongue move across his cheek and met his ear where he whispered…

"You've been inhaling my poison."


	17. Bird Cage

Author Apologies: Again, I've taken forever to update. Sorry.

I got a review mentioning that maybe I should consider getting me a beta reader. My older sister is gladly offering. But I don't want her to read this story so I said no to her. I've actually never really worked with a beta reader. I don't know how far I am till the end of this story. I'm giving it five to eight more chapters and up to now I have a lot to fix. I'm pretty aware of that even though I'm not aware of all the mistakes I've made.

But to clear things out, I did consider it. I went ahead and took a look into the beta reader link on this website and came out confused over the process of obtaining one. Kinda discouraging. But if anyone wants the spot it's free for the taking.

Sorry to everyone who are very much in the dark by Hiei's motives. Hopefully this chapter will clear it up a bit. No promises it will though.

Enjoy.

Chapter 17: Bird Cage

He once again woke with a start.

It's been every night now he's been having that same dream. He relived his worst nightmare and the counselors figured they could cure him with a pill and an hour session sit-down with them three times a week and with group sessions that didn't help his cause, any.

He could still feel himself tremble that morning as he walked over to the nurses' stand at having heard his name being called out. He was handed a cup with little colored tablets and a cup of water. A chill ran down his spine at the thought of having to swallow another set of pills, again.

He looked up at the nurse, a cup in each hand, calmly waiting for her to notice him.

The nurse picked up her head after checking something of on a sheet of paper in front of her, giving Kuwabara an inquisitive look. At finally noticing him, Kuwabara gave her a small, nervous smile. "I'd like to see the doctor." He quietly suggested.

"You are sweety. You'll get to see him," she said looking over at her computer screen. "This after noon at group therapy."

Kuwabara looked at her a bit nerved, impulsively fidgeting on his feet. He hated how this place made him feel like a kid. "I need to talk to him about this." He said lifting the little cup with the colored tablets.

"Oh, sweety, why?" The nurse had released a small cry of concern, quickly setting a hand on his forehead. "Are they making you sick? Are they the reason you haven't been eating lately."

"No." Kuwabara said lightly pushing her hand away, feeling himself break into a sweat. How was he to tell her he didn't need them and he wished to be let free, without technically seeming like he was in some sort of denial or breakdown?

"Are you feeling unusually depressed or are they in anyway aggravating your present moods?" She continued walking around the counter and stepping into his personal space.

"No." Kuwabara repeated taking a step back.

"Are you feeling suicidal?" She asked taking yet another step towards him a hand suddenly on his arm.

Kuwabara looked around, noting that a couple of his fellow inpatients had trickled their attention onto him. "No," Kuwabara whispered.

"Then what is it?"

He anxiously looked at her. If he just told her would she let him go free? Would she understand that he didn't belong here? "Listen, Nurse Taiki, I just need to tell him I don't need them, anymore. I think I'm feeling better… about everything." He said giving her a weak smile.

The nurse eyed him, taking a step back like as if suddenly she became aware of a contagious disease he was carrying.

"Sweety," she said back behind the counter. "Just take you medication, okay. They will make you feel better." She gave him a half-hearted smile before signaling to him with her hand to take the pills.

"I _am_ better." Kuwabara almost snapped but managed to keep his temper in check.

"Just take them, sweety, okay." The nurse had said not bothering to be stealthy enough to slip her hand on an emergency button reserved for when a patient got out of control. His eyes moved from where the nurse's hand menacingly lied to where three men dressed in blue scrubs stood at the door to the far wall.

"If I take them," Kuwabara began looking back at the nurse. "Can I speak to the doctor then?"

The nurse gave him a faint glare and forced out. "Of course, sweety, let me just make a couple of calls. Now, I want to see you swallow them." Her proposition coming out more a threat than a request - her hand still over the button. He eyed the orderlies just at the door again and hesitatingly brought the cup with the colored tablets to his lips and watched her as she gave him a nod of approval before he snapped his head back and the tablets rolled out of the cup and into his mouth then chased it with water. He handed the nurse the empty cups and turned to leave but he was tugged back by a hand on his wrist. He looked back at the nurse, her brows up. "Let see." She said.

Kuwabara rolled his eyes as he widely opened his mouth and closed it when he felt humiliated enough. He glanced around the room, everyone's eyes where set on him. Looking back at the nurse he whispered. "When will I see the doctor?"

"You'll get your turn." She said shooing him away.

He took the chance now that the pills where freshly in his stomach to run into the bathroom. Closing the door behind him, he looked over at the toilet with determination but hesitantly walked over to it. He really didn't want to do what he was about to do but he was left with no other alternative. He let two fingers slide to the back of his throat and after a couple of dry heaves bile ran up his throat along with the little lumps of pills. He watched them as they floated in the tub of water, counting them, making sure they were all there before he flushed them. He moved over to the sink turning on the faucet. Once done rinsing the bile from his hands and mouth he set to leave, relieved that the mood-stimulator weren't sitting in his stomach any more.

He watched past the iron rods running down the window through the glass as the birds freely flew. The sky was a light blue, barely a cloud in sight. He could almost smell the fresh air. He'd sometimes imagine himself pulling out his spirit sword and breaking free from the barred up windows. Sometime he'd imagine himself using the training he had learned from his ex-teammates to punch a whole through the brick walls. Then he'd welcome all eyes on him, all to see how strong he was. He'd imagine strong fists, muscular and at its prime envied by everyone who sat in this room today, with there weak limbs and pathetic lives. He'd imagine they'd want to be as strong as him.

Eyes finally tore themselves from the window and his imagination as he'd look down at his arms and saw those weak limbs, long, slight hands and none of the muscle he'd come to recognize was his a long time ago.

He'd examine them only to realize that he was that weak, pathetic person sitting in the room. Envying everything he once was, because that guy no longer existed. He even doubted his ability to break through a wooden board much less a brick wall.

"Kuwabara." He heard someone say snapping him out completely from his own thoughts. He let the hand he was previously studying fall down to his lap and let his eyes circle once around the group session, all eyes once again on him.

"Kuwabara." He once again heard and this time he turned to look at the doctor in charge. Dr. Yukishiro's eyes rested on him questionably. He gulped once, his mouth parched. "Do you have anything to say?"

He looked around the room again, everyone looked as pathetic and fucked up as he felt. He could see himself in there faces – torn wings, spirits lost, souls forgotten. Weak and useless as the day they were born.

"Maybe it's the pills." Kuwabara suggested looking coyly up at the doctor. He could see his fellow inpatients shift uncomfortably on there seats. He could feel as his sight fell down again to his boney hands the doctor's sight heavily on him. "They make things worse." He could see the guy next to him begging to fidget. Another began to chew on his nails, others becoming as agitated as it caught on. "When was the last time any of you felt better?" Kuwabara continued, looking directly at the most nervous guy in the room.

The dark haired, pale skinned guy's leg shifted from side to side stopping as Kuwabara's sight bore into him. Then the guy's sight landed on the doctor, stood up abruptly and demanded. "I want off my medication."

And just like a contagious plague, one after another they stood from there seats all demanding the same. "Me too." Came one as round as a grape with brown hair. Kuwabara could see scars running up his arms.

"They don't work." Came another, this one as skinny as death herself, blond and ready to be snapped in half with that obnoxious know it all look on his face.

Voices were coming from everyone, protesting, nervously pacing. Having had enough, the doctor stood from his seat as had everyone else, and yelled. "Enough." Single handedly achieving to get everyone to shut up. "We'll talk about this later. Session over for today." He announced and as everyone turned to leave he called out to Kuwabara. "Take a seat please." He offered pointing his hand to the many vacant chairs in the room.

Kuwabara turned to look at the doctor then to the back of the last person as they left the room. He released a sigh expecting a lecture then moved to take his seat.

"I heard you tried to negotiate your medication with a nurse this morning." The doctor began watching Kuwabara closely.

"I wasn't trying to negotiate." Kuwabara tried to explain.

"What exactly where you trying to do?" Dr. Yukishiro said leaning up against a wall crossing his arms and legs simultaneously.

"You can't make me take them, not without the permission of my sister." Kuwabara said defensively – his shoulders tense, back rigid.

The doctor looked surprised for a second. "Your sister?" He repeated with a sympathetic look on his face. He stood to take a seat on the chair next to Kuwabara.

Kuwabara moved back a bit on his seat resenting the new distance between him and the doctor.

Concern lingered in the doctor's eyes and Kuwabara watched him suspiciously. "No one's told you?" The doctor began.

"Told me what?" Kuwabara said moving as far back on his seat as he could feeling more than uncomfortable, now. His heart sped up a bit apprehending the doctor's next word. Feeling deep down that he really didn't want to know what they were going to be.

"You've been under government care for the last few weeks, Kuwabara, and not just medically. Your whole well being has." The doctor said his middle-aged features creased as he watched Kuwabara cross his arms over his chest, sliding down a bit on his seat, his leg coming to life with the small, rapid back and forth movement. He watched as Kuwabara tried his best to not comprehend, refusing to believe that the doctor was telling him the truth. "Your sister no longer has custody over you." Dr. Yukishiro's tried to lay it out delicately knowing no matter how he put it, it would never come lightly.

"No." Kuwabara's harsh whisper came, his bottom lip sucked into his mouth between teeth as he bit into it trying his best to contain as much as he could of his emotions but they forcefully pushed their way out off him. His eyes swelled up with tears, flooding over red lids, silently trailing down colorless skin, landing heavily onto his white shirt. "No." Came his whispered voice chocking back a suppressed sob as he set his eyes back at the barred up window, watching as the birds freely flew in the light blue sky.

XBMX

"What's with the green tag?" Hiei said looking at the bright green strip of plastic wrapped around Kuwabara's wrist.

"They put me under suicide watch." Kuwabara told Hiei with little concern for the thing.

"Should I be worried?" Hiei asked raising an eyebrow.

"No, I'm not suicidal." He said a bit outraged, but a part of him didn't really care what Hiei, or anyone, thought. So he just pushed a piece on the chessboard forward, not bothering to remind Hiei he wasn't supposed to be there past visiting hours.

Hiei gave him thoughtful consideration giving away a little _"Hn."_

Kuwabara had felt a little annoyed with Hiei's little expression, feeling Hiei had only done it because he knew it would get under his skin. He glared at Hiei a bit, before dropping his sight back on the board, waiting for Hiei to make his move. "I really don't care what you think, shrimp, I'm not suicidal." He responded releasing a heavy sigh. It had been another long, boring day full of lectures and rehabilitating exercises. Kuwabara thought they were all full of it for assuming, and he really didn't need Hiei assuming the same, as well.

"So you ending up in the hospital wasn't you doing something stupid… again?"

Kuwabara knew Hiei was referring to the time when he had sliced his arms open or when he had spent a reasonable amount of time not eating securing his first lapse onto a hospital bed. He released a heavy sigh, again. He really didn't want to talk about it, especially with Hiei. "I wasn't trying to kill myself, ever." Was all he offered. "Why exactly are you here, Hiei?"

Hiei moved the rook on the board with a move better suited for the bishop, not really caring much for the game itself Kuwabara allowed it as he waited patiently for Hiei's answer.

It had turned night already and everyone under critical surveillance were locked in their little danger free environment, with sheet-less mattresses, shoelace-less shoes, unbreakable mirrors, ect.

"Who was it?" Hiei asked after a while.

"What are you talking about, shrimp?" Kuwabara took down Hiei's rook and Hiei did no more than an annoyed flinch at losing his game piece.

"If you weren't trying to kill yourself than who was?" Hiei said making another invalid move taking down one of Kuwabara's rooks.

"It was an accident." Kuwabara eyed his lost rook in Hiei's hand having decided better and went ahead in renouncing it then looked up to see Hiei looking at him with suspicion. "Why are you here, again?" Kuwabara asked again.

"No such thing as accidents."

"You suck at this game." Kuwabara finally pointed out, hoping that that would be enough of a distraction for Hiei. After all Hiei did have a big ego.

"Was it that girl?" Hiei asked barely even sniffing the bate.

"No." Kuwabara said miserably letting his head fall down to the table. "Why do you care?" Kuwabara's muffled voice said.

"Was it that coward man that's always around that girl?"

Kuwabara picked his head up and leaned back on his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. He assumed Hiei was referring to Ken and he was torn in telling Hiei the truth. Part of him wanted Hiei to make Ken pay for what he did, if that was why Hiei was asking, and the other part doubted Hiei would do such a thing for him.

"Never thought of you as the gossipy type." Kuwabara subtly accused and moved his queen to stand at a promising location.

"Never thought of you as the type that'd refuse to talk." Hiei dryly responded but despite his sour face Kuwabara broke into a smile also having seen the irony. "Why are you smiling?" Hiei asked a bit embarrassed but somehow felt relieved that Kuwabara was actually displaying some happiness.

"Why are you here?" Kuwabara asked for the last time, losing the smile.

"Do you want me to leave?" Hiei said after pushing yet another piece where it's technically not allowed.

Kuwabara gave Hiei a thoughtful look, not really sure if he wanted Hiei to leave or not. Nights were always so long and boring at the rehabilitating center, he never manages to sleep beyond three hours and just the fact that Hiei might potentially be good company at times is what made him take more then a second as he pondered the question.

Kuwabara looked up to a clock ticking away at the far wall, noting that that would usually be the time he'd be waking up from another night terror. He gulped hard letting his eyes scan over the chest board, losing himself within the checkered design.

He remembered a time when he hated Hiei. He remembered a time when he'd go to school and he'd have friends - family. He remembered when his sole comfort came from going to bed at night and he'd have a fat, fuzzy kitty to cuddle with, because he was home and he was safe under his sheets. Now, all he had was this cold room and no one to look forward to. Nothing to warm his back.

He let his hand rub at his chest, feeling once again for the one hundredth time just that day the affects of being alone. The feeling had a bothersome, physical ache to it. The lingering affect that left him frustrated and hurting with as much motivation to get up from bed as the sick but with enough energy to want to scream his lungs out.

"Check mate." Kuwabara announced after moving another piece on the board.

"What?" Hiei looked a bit confused.

"I beat you." Kuwabara said pointing at his queen and tracing his finger across the board to Hiei's trapped king so he could see.

"It's a stupid game, anyways." Hiei said after taking his time in understanding what just happened regardless of the fact that he really didn't know how to play.

"You're just angry that I've actually beat you in something. I mean, other than in height." Kuwabara said managing to release a chuckle.

Hiei didn't know exactly what to say. The game wasn't proving his worth and now Kuwabara was laughing at him. Far from what he was actually trying to achieve.

"I can show you how." Came Kuwabara's hesitant voice, a belated invitation to stay, because if anything he didn't want to be left alone. Not again. Not ever.

"I really don't concern myself with trivial human games." Hiei almost snapped turning his head to one side in an obvious sign of refusal.

Kuwabara's expectations didn't fall short. He didn't even know why he even bothered. "Okay, whatever." Kuwabara said getting up from his seat and walked across the 10 by 10 floor just to let himself plop facedown on the sheet-less mattress. The leather-like cover creaked under him as he turned to make himself more comfortable on his side.

"Teach me." Came Hiei's sudden voice sounding a bit demanding but with a different tone, as if he was actually trying not to sound so demanding. Kuwabara turned to face him, leaning up on thin arms that were barely starting to get their shape back. His eyes set on Hiei he watched as Hiei stretched out a hand in offering and repeated "Teach me." Sounding a bit softer than before.

Kuwabara looked at Hiei's hand suspiciously, brows furrowed in contemplation. "This isn't a trick, is it?" He asked looking back up at Hiei.

Hiei gave him a quiet _no_ and Kuwabara eyed him. A small, warm smile stretched over Hiei's features. Not really knowing why, Kuwabara accepted Hiei's hand letting him help him of the uncomfortable mattress.

Author's Notes: After writing this chapter I feel like I've stepped out of the previous chapter's mood failing to give it a proper transition. Time had lapsed between the two chapters making it harder to intertwine both chapters to one another. Hopefully it wasn't too dramatic of a leap or confusing at that.

Thank you to everyone for the reviews. They are still very much appreciated. And thanks for keeping up with the fic up till now.


	18. Its Not a New Beginning

Author's Notes: Before anyone starts beating me up for not posting sooner. I'm sorry. I had the hugest writers block.

I'm sure most of you have moved on to bigger and better things but if by the off chance anyone has stuck around for another chapter here you go. And seriously, it is much deserved.

Chapter 18: It's Not a New Beginning It's the Same Tragic Ending

Keiko watched as Yusuke slurped on his noodles and usually it was a good sign but today he did it with extra delight. She tried not to stare but nothing new had been done to the recipe so she was left to wonder.

At first she wasn't going to say anything at all over it but his peculiar upbeat mood was making her extra curious. Hardly anything ever put him in such a precarious atmosphere especially as of lately. She was almost afraid to ask if it meant she would pop him out of his bubble just by doing so but damn was she curious, and almost hardly ever qualified as a definite true.

"You're in a good mood today, Yusuke." She said as she leaned over the counter a hand under her chin to support her head up.

"I am?" Yusuke asked, un-slurped noodles hanging from his lips.

"Yeah."

Yusuke gave it a seconds thought before brushing it off to continue his quest to find the bottom of the bowl with the same vigor.

"Yusuke?" Keiko continued a bit more irately. Sometimes she wondered if all boys where born with this inability to communicate properly or if it was just him?

"Yeah." Yusuke said his eyes wide as he looked up at Keiko. Was that displeasure he had just heard in Keiko's voice?

Keiko released a sigh. She knew he hadn't been doing it on purpose, again. Keeping her out of the loop, that was. But sometimes she felt like he was. She never wanted to ask but Yusuke usually never left her any other choice but to pry into his business.

"Spread the cheer, Yusuke." She began with a clearer head and hopefully a lot of patience. "Who can make you smile like that?"

"Smiling? I'm smiling?" He had to look down and away when he had spoken as if to hide the indiscretion and a hand had crossed his lips feeling for the truth in her statement.

"Yeah, Yusuke. All day, now."

He hadn't even realized he had been smiling but now that he knew that damn thing had taken control of his face he was having a hard time putting it away.

But why not smile? Why put it away? That never did anyone any good. He didn't need an excuse to smile. He just was. And being felt good.

"It's just a good day, today." He said. He looked back at her and she looked back at him perplexed. "Don't you think?"

XBMX

Usually, Hiei's chi would be felt within the city limits but today it had been MIA.

Kurama wouldn't say he'd been keeping tabs on the fiery demon but he had been without warrant overseeing that he'd do nothing extravagantly stupid.

And, sure, he'd been doing plenty of stupid over the summer but today made up for everything. The last thing he wanted was his friend to be so far away but he knew that if Yusuke knew what he knew the fiery demon would want to be as far from this city as possible. Today, being the special day that it was, held special catastrophe if Hiei would show up.

XBMX

When Kuwabara had finished with all the jazz if meeting his new guardians, finished getting acquainted with the new home and made friends with the other boys he was finally left at peace to settle in his new room.

He had been doing better according to the medical staff and he'd agree for the better part but it wasn't like his opinion had counted. It had taken them two extra weeks after he had initially told them just that for them to sign him out.

He was sure he wouldn't have survived his stay their but coincidentally enough his biggest enemy had saved him from that hell. He wasn't even sure he was able to call him that anymore. Things had changed. Not completely but on invert. If it was for the better or worse could be disputed. For him that presumption lied within the limits of his brain he dared not touch.

It was a fair life. His bedroom was warm. The new mother and father figures were accepting to his arrival, though he knew it hadn't and isn't unconditional. Cooked food was served three times a day and he was given a second chance to redeem his studies – his life.

It was fair. After everything was left to settle these where the best cards facing up and he either took them or left them.

XBMX

Kurama hadn't been surprised when on his way to visiting Kuwabara for the first time since his last stay in a hospital, at his knew residence, he spotted no one other then the infamously know half demon who couldn't be bothered to have friends was hiding behind a tree across the street to where Kuwabara would be just like a friend would be.

"Save it, Kurama." He had said over his shoulder.

"I wasn't going to say anything." Kurama responded.

"You were thinking it."

Kurama was happy to see him there and he wasn't the kind to wish distress over anyone (Well, at least not anymore.) but that was all the half demon was doing to himself by just standing their waiting for the world to come to him.

"Do you think he has forgotten?" Yusuke finally said after a few minutes of silence.

"Forgotten what?" Kurama had asked because though Yusuke might have felt at some point that evening that he had been a mind reader he had no clue what this was like for him.

"That we were friends?"

His voice had no stagger when the question had left his lips. His body remained rigid. You wouldn't see that little boy inside him at that moment because in those seconds of stale, pained confusion only the man was left to show his silhouette.

But none the less the question had come to him as a surprise and it had taken a gust of wind to blow by for him to recover all senses but by then it had been too late. The silhouette was gone, the boy turned to show his face with a grin that barely surpassed the usual length of his lips.

"Where're you going?" Kurama asked as he watched Yusuke walk passed him.

Yusuke's turned and quickly his eyes landed on Kuwabara's new residence. It was a bricked red building. Nice place. Nice neighborhood. Better skies and trees. He was even pretty sure the air had to gone through a filter so it would smell as sweet. At least it same like it.

"Home." He finally said. "This place gives me the creeps."

XBMX

Three knocks on the door had Kuwabara turning to look towards his bedroom door. Just outside on the hallway stood his new mother figure. They hadn't gotten time to correctly come to know each other but if Kuwabara wasn't mistaking that smile never left her face. It was a welcoming feature of hers. Not at all did he want to it change, he had just felt it lacked a certain aspect. Dimension maybe. Truth.

He had stood and quickly she shook her head side to side. "No, don't get up on my account. This is your home. I just came upstairs to tell you you have a visitor."

His brows had wrinkled at the mention but nonetheless he had followed her to the living room.

Red locks turned to greet him. As always the fox demon was gentle in his embrace, his stare and especially his attitude. Contraire to his whole reality, his relationship with this particular person had not changed. Their relationship had remained adhered by their past bond. And if anything, Kuwabara greatly appreciated it because all though everything was fair now what the fox had brought with him was better. And the realization of how much he completely yearned for it had formed a knot in his throat. He was sure he would have started balling but that comfort brought only the whisper of his dead life and he was sure that just as soon as the fox demon would leave it too would be gone.

So, he welcomed the fox demon into his knew life. They sat down and watched some TV as they caught up on the little things. For the while he was there the whisper kept talking, singing that old tune of normalcy and friendship. And just like a fulfilled promise, it was gone when the fox demon had departed.

XBMX

Yusuke had found his way back to Keiko that night. For those moments as Yusuke took step after step towards her, his face cheerless, she had abruptly stopped what she had been doing, dropping all her meaningless tasks to embrace him.

Usually, he wasn't that touchy-feely unless it was for something more appetizing like her ass. But this time his arms wrapped themselves around her smaller back, his hands stayed cleared of her temptations as they rested one on each shoulder.

"What's wrong, Yusuke?" She asked when he didn't let go.

Yusuke dug his face on the nook of her shoulder rubbing away at his eyes there. There was no way he could look up. He didn't want to.

"Yusuke," she said sounding more worried. "Tell me what's wrong?"

But he couldn't. There was nothing to say. Nothing was wrong. Nothing at all. He just was.

XBMX

Three knocks and Kuwabara had turned to look at the door. "Come in." He called out but as he waited for someone to enter the door remained shut.

It hadn't been long since Kurama had left and he had somehow ended up back in his bedroom. He had been quietly sitting on the bed with nothing to do but ponder over the fox demon's short visit.

Another three knocks and Kuwabara's head quickly turned to look at the door. This time he stood and made his way to it. Slowly he turned the knob and swung it open only to see no one standing there.

The knocks came three more times and this time he was confident it hadn't been the door since he was look straight at the other side of it. He searched the room till his sight came to land on the window.

He didn't even give himself time to wonder as he quickly walked over to it and pulled the drapes open and his lips gave half a smile at the sight.

"Hiei," he said after pushing the window open to let the demon in. Who would have thought he would be so happy to see him? But it had been such an emotionally strenuous day meeting new faces and having one visit him from the past and to see his was somehow the most comforting of all. His was not new nor did a hold a string to his distant past. His was current. Hiei's presence had developed a usual familiarity. Like a friend. Nothing that held a lot in its meaning but, nowadays, friendships seamed to come and go. So, Kuwabara held no meaning to it and he had expected as much for Hiei to feel as well. That's exactly what made Hiei's presence so welcomed to begin with. That expectation to expect nothing to come of it. Because it was a mutual experience when Hiei came over to waste time together. They bickered with one another every once in a while but Hiei had kept his tongue tamed while they where together, never letting the little bitter words that had ever rarely come to be exchanged with one another escalate. At the end, it had become more than just a comfortable, welcoming presence to which Kuwabara was almost afraid to give it a name. Or refused because a friendship like that should always exist when every other had disappeared. And because friendships like that should not be called friendships because friendships can one day be gone and the one that he had experienced with this particular fiery demon should never have to.

Hiei quickly inspected the room. Kuwabara rolled his eyes. It was a usual thing to witness when it came to Hiei's paranoia but it was a characteristic Kuwabara wouldn't change.

"Like the new digs?" Kuwabara asked as he fell onto his new mattress as if that was the most comfortable spot he could be on at the moment.

Hiei looked over at it and made a face as if to snarl at it and took a spot on his new desk.

Leaning up of his bed to come into a sitting position, Kuwabara looked over at Hiei as he made himself comfortable. "Yeah, I always thought the desk looked more comfortable."

Hiei almost smiled but all of his gestures where always given in almost. Kuwabara was now acquainted with them. He has come to understand that in their intent was not as a partial gesture but a shy whole.

It was hard to consider the little demon with the venomous tongue as shy but in certain aspects he was. No wonder he didn't have any friends. No wonder he was so distant. Kuwabara had figured for the longest time that he was just bitter and mean.

Kuwabara could say that almost smile was enough of an emotion to show because at least it wasn't a lie. It was an almost true emotion without the lie and that was all he could ask for from anyone at the moment.

"Kurama was here, today." Kuwabara felt obligated to mention.

"What did he want?" Hiei said bitterly and this time it lacked in the almost.

Kuwabara would have asked about it but figured that was a subject that had absolutely nothing to do with him so he let it go. Instead he went ahead and answered his question. "Nothing, we just hung out."

He could see the inner workings of Hiei's mind begin to work but again he didn't ask nor did he want to feeling that it really wasn't up to him to bud in.

Hiei got up to shut the blinds while Kuwabara watched suspiciously.

"Do you have something to hide?" Kuwabara asked having held his curiosity back long enough.

Turning around to face him, Hiei seemed to completely disregard his question and refrained from looking at him straight in the eye.

"Hiei?" Kuwabara asked worried. He wasn't even sure why he was feeling worried or if he even should. This was Hiei after all.

"I need to know something right now." Hiei said with downcast eyes, not looking at him. Looking at anything but him.

He could tell there was something really up with Hiei. Sure, he should have known before hand but things usually had to slap him in the face for him to get it. And this one was making him nervous with apprehension.

"Sure, what is it?"

"Promise me," he said with almost trepidation.

"I promise." Kuwabara said immediately. He wasn't sure why. Maybe it was because he needed to know what he was going to say like a cat had to know where the mouse was heading off to. But nothing he did really could be considered 'thought all the way threw' and this was no exception. That was usually the main reason people often saw him as a big buffoon. A big, ugly, stupid buffoon. Sure, it had hurt whenever he had been called that in many occasions but he knew the truth (even if it was just a little) it held. He always jumped the gun without thinking. It wasn't unexpected behavior from him.

But this time Hiei held him back from completely repeating his mistake. He shook his head side to side thoughtfully all the while his eyes refused to make eye contact.

"Listen to me first." He said almost exasperated. "Promise me," he begun again and this time Kuwabara waited patiently for him to finish. "No matter what happens," the almost trepidation in his voice was back and it killed Kuwabara with curiosity to know what it really was all about but he kept to himself refraining from saying anything no matter how much he wanted to tell Hiei to just get on with it. "Promise me you will never hate me."

After it had all left his system, Kuwabara was left to only blink away the shock. It was a good thing Hiei's eyes had remained downcasted because he wasn't sure what all of that had to do with them. If their ever was a _them_?

But there had to if the question had meant that much to Hiei that he had to ask. And if there was, what kind of dimension did the relationship hold that Kuwabara had not been aware of? How much of his perception of it held true? And most importantly, how much of it was he willing to lose if he did not recognize with it?

"Hiei, I" – he begun but failed to find any words that could convey what he truly wanted to say because there was a lot to say, a lot to define, a lot to ask before he jumped the gun.

But he knew that the longer he left it to be thought threw the longer the gap between them grew. A measurable distance that Kuwabara had been oblivious to. He wasn't sure when it had materialized to make such in impact in the situation but somehow it was there, now.

Kuwabara hadn't know how to answer then, and still hadn't had it all figure out when his answer left his lips but he had finally come out with it and somehow his answer had stuck to what had been most important to him. The steadily growing relationship he had built with the fire demon retrospectively held meaning to him. And that realization had not kicked in until he was backed into a corner with that question but in that reflection he was certain of one thing, he knew that above all he didn't want to lose any of it at all because at that moment he was all he had.

"I promise." He said.

It was to those words that Hiei finally decided to look at him straight in the eye and in his eyes he saw relief. And in those moments that it took Hiei to approach Kuwabara to grasp him by the shoulders and plant a dominating kiss on his lips, his whole world seemed to fall perfectly together.

But in those moments it took Hiei to leave Kuwabara alone in his new room, with his new family, in his new home Kuwabara's whole world was jumbled into confusion.

TBC…

Author's Notes: Thank you for sticking around and please, I know I don't deserve it, but a review would be appreciated. And again, don't beat me up. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words still sting. Yeah, I'm a wimp like that. hehe*sigh*


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